Prokhor Ozornin - On the Wings of Hope - Prose

Something is going on in the soul of mine, something very strange and unusual, something unclear for me. This is practically the same feeling, which have grown in me two days ago … some sort of vague doubts in fidelity of my own life and life of my earth brothers … Is even a morning prayer no more capable to purify my soul of these fatal doubts?

This feeling was born inside me after an appointment with his holiness Alex II the other day after I have given him the manuscript of my future book, so that he could tell me his opinion as well as his blessing for its distribution.

To give his blessing … he hasn’t given it! He not only hasn’t given the blessing, he was greatly angered and malicious … his highness was enraged … that’s impossible! That’s unimaginable! How, how can it be possible that such a great individuality was capable to fall from grace to the anger?! I didn’t trust own ears when he has begun his speech!

- Whether is it known to you, my son Peter, that by your … h-r-r-r-m-m-m … book … you ruin all precepts, given by our great Deputy?! - voice of his holiness was cold as a steel, some spiteful notes were breaking through.

- Father, how do I break his precepts? - I questioned.

- How? You dare ask me how you ruin his precepts? I’ll tell you, how! In that book of yours you mention that God himself was the maker of this world of ours, and you assert that our Patriarch is His humble servant. Our great deputy is not his “humble servant” - our Deputy is His son, the very incarnation of our Father in this world! He is the God, His embodiment! Whether it was not taught to you all in your church school, I wonder? Did you not learn that the word of our Patriarch is like the word of God himself, expressed through our Deputy, and thus it shall be the law for all divine children?!

- Your holiness, but how is that possible for a heavenly son to stand above his heavenly father? - I asked.

- To stand over his father? My son … - and his holiness choked - the father of ours is the Patriarch! He’s our father and the savior of souls of this world!

- But we’ve been told … - I tried to speak.

- You’ve been told? Tell me, my son, who spoke you all that things?

I mentioned mentor’s name of our spiritual school.

- I thank you, my son, you have performed a great service to us right now in a task of eradication of all … heresy.

I shuddered when he pronounced a word “heresy”. Heresy is a biggest crime, heresy deprives one of his inborn right to pass through a divine gate of paradise - so all holy churchmen told me … only my mentor spoke nothing on that subject. Why is he guilty in heresy, why?! How did he misbehave and broke divine will? And I asked his highness this question.

- He committed a crime by seducing divine children from their holy way, and is subject to be punished for this sin. We’ll carry out all necessary measures, - and his holiness made a sign for me to become silent and ask no further questions. And, having no power not to obey, I became silent … and that vague doubt started scraping in my soul once again.

Meanwhile his highness continued speaking.

Furthermore you state that for all sins made a divine son will be judged by his heavenly Father during a Sacred Court and “on their deeds they will be given”. Truly, “on their deeds they will be given”, but whether it’s known to you that our omnipotent Patriarch as an embodiment of the will of our divine Father was granted the right to either punish or grant a pardon to his sinful children in his endless favor and mercy in this world already?!

And then you keep writing: “… for only our unearthly Lord has a power over both real and unreal, and only His court is just and eternal …”. The court on the earth is conducted by our Patriarch! We, his humble servants, can only submissively carry out his will, which is also a will of our divine Father, having no right to ask useless questions on whether his judgment is just or unjust - for the judgment of our Deputy is eternally just and honorable, for he is the very embodiment of a God! Whether the cases are known to you … my son, - and his holiness choked once more, - when our great Deputy performed unjust judgments over his faithful children and servants?

- No, father.

- Right you are, my son. For his judgment is just and just eternally - forever it was, forever it will be, may his name shine in the heavens!

This very instant of time a blissful smile appeared on the face of his highness as if he has just seen the Second Coming of the Savior along with a retinue of divine angels. However, when he has looked up at me once again, his smile disappeared in a single instance.

- Yet this doesn’t forgive your … failures … my son, - and his holiness choked a third time.

- You speak: “… for there is only one great force in the world of ours and only one great treasure - and this is a love, for it’s a manifestation of our divine Father in our world …” - that’s a lie! Our power - is in our belief in the Patriarch! What other power do you desire except for it? Only belief in the Patriarch moves us forward and saves us, only such a belief aids us on a life’s journey!

“Your belief is a suppressed doubt”, - words came into my mind that instant of time, yet I constantly rejected these fatal thought away. His highness was now looking at me almost with anger, and his voice became absolutely cold.

- But not only do you constantly undermine belief in our most gracious Patriarch, you still try to make his children turn from a true path! You speak: “… and all imaginable customs, rituals and ceremonies would vanish, as if they never existed before … and men would pray in heart and not by heart - and an expression of this aspiration would be the love …”. How can all sacred rituals disappear in an instant, if they are prescribed to us by the holy Patriarch himself as a mean to become addicted to his eternal good fortune?! - his holiness almost shouted. That’s unbelievable, that’s unthinkable! That’s a true heresy, my son! And you keep writing as if it’s not enough! You undermine their trust in us, humble servants of our Father! Just think again of what you are saying … “… and all things of this world disappear and be gone, and will matter no more for those who enter the kingdom of the Father … and never were that way”.

You undermine their trust in us, humblest attendants of our father! Just rethink of what you are writing in that book of yours … “… and things of this world will disappear and vanish, and never be important any longer for the one entering the Divine Realm … and never did matter, for temporarily live in this world is, and as we enter it without a thing, except for the flame of our hearts, thus we do leave it with nothing except for the fire mentioned. And therefore all worshipping and rituals and everything used for it, and all imaginable earth cults matter no more …” It’s unimaginable! All those sacred rituals which we maintain are the greatest gifts, prescribed to us, with which we render aid to our faithful followers! We purify their souls, we, as the servants of the Father, redeem their sins, we rescue them from the clutches of the Abyss! How dare one not to acknowledge and recognize that, how can we reject a response gratitude of our brothers, granted to us by them in their restrained generosity?!

But you, you dare saying - “… for only the love’s fire of the heart can redeem the sin, and no rituals, no artifacts, no other terrestrial things … for they are transient, yet only the flame of one’s spirit and heart may burn forever …” - that’s a true misunderstanding of the way of things! Our Father granted us the right to atone for sins of our children that come to us, guided by their humility - and we serve a great purpose by releasing them from this burden at once, but you … you! … - his highness enraged himself so greatly that was almost choking - you dishonor all our kind, all our services, all our achievements! And for the last part - “… for our Father lives not outside, but inside each of us first and foremost … and He is the God, and He is the love…”. And He is - the Patriarch! And He is - outside, for only He is holy, and we are all guilty, and the God has never been living inside us! - and only He by the favor of His can rescue souls of ours, and we ourselves are incapable of doing such a thing!” - his holiness stood up and has been angrily screaming.