Brian Lane - Mind Games with a Serial Killer

Both Bonnie and Cheryl know a little about how I feel about death. Cathy Sharp and I were sitting in my apartment one night listening to some music and watching the fish in my aquarium. She asked me how I felt about death. I asked her ‘why’? She began a discussion that went on into the early morning hours. We spent all night talking about death, GOD, UFOs, paranormal experiences and more. I found out that she shared almost the exact same thoughts that I had on the same subjects. Like me, she was in no way fearful of death. Again, like me, she was concerned about the manner of her death: She didn’t want a lingering death. (I don’t want a painful death.) Cathy got what she wanted: Death came instantly. A dream she told me about was fulfilled. In her dream, she said, death would come with collapsing metal and glass. (Her thought was that she was going to be caught in a building damaged by an earthquake.) She also said that she would die alone: “A singular death.” Less than a week later she died in a traffic accident. The driver of the other vehicle was drunk and survived the accident. I’ve only had this type of discussion with one other person. A month afterwards, Charles Brown was dead of a mis-diagnosed medical problem in prison. He was told that he only had stomach flu.

The first time I had a ‘near-death episode’ was in l971: About 3:00 in the afternoon my appendix burst. I was gotten to the hospital by 3:30 pm. I was not operated on until after midnight. For more than nine hours poison circulated throughout my abdominal cavity. I don’t know if it got into my blood or not. According to Riki Mandel, my nurse, a weaker person would not have survived what I went through. I knew why I was still alive.

While I was unconcious, I left my body. But I was sent back. However, before I was returned to my body (after the surgeons finished operating on me), I found out what happens to us when we die. I also found out a lot more. And that’s why death doesn’t scare me.

The second time I experienced a ‘near-death’ episode was when I had my motorcycle accident in 1988. Again, while I was unconcious, I left my body. Once more, I found out what awaits each of us when we die. This time I was told that it was still too soon for my ‘arrival.’ I was told that I have much more to accomplish before I am to be ‘called.’ I’11 never forget the words or the voice that explained many things to me.

Several times after my motorcycle accident, Bonnie would remind me that I could have died in that accident. I told her that I would never die in any kind of automotive accident. I will not die a violent death. I will die in my sleep, flat on my back. And according to what I’ve learned, I will meet death no time soon. Death is still far from me. And I saw the deaths of others whom I know. I was saddened when it was revealed to me that my Dad would not live to see my daughter born. When I last saw him in the hospital, he was in a coma. I knew that he would never recover from it. I ‘saw’ his death back in 1988. In my family, my mother’s death will come next, then Bobby’s and Kenny’s. Don, Roberta and Deena will live long after I’m gone. I’ll not go any farther into this though. Nobody should know when they are going to die. It has a detrimental effect on a person’s sanity.

I’ve told Bonnie, Cheryl and several others, when talking about my motorcycle accident, that I didn’t die because something more is expected of me. What that something is or when or where I’m supposed to do it, I have no way of knowing. Yet, I do know that I will not die until I’ve accomplished whatever it is I’m supposed to do. Events are supposed to take place that I will have a direct bearing upon—events that will have a direct bearing upon me!

As I’ve already explained, in 1971, my appendix burst and I was rushed to the hospital by private car. When I got to the hospital, I was informed that all of the operating rooms were in use because of a shootout on the north side of Fort Worth. I was told that the only thing that could be done for me was to run IV’s into me and keep me hydrated. Sometime later, a nurse came in and gave me a shot, to ‘help’ me sleep. I found out later that it was to help ease the pain. Evidently I went to sleep because the next thing I knew Teryl was telling me that it was midnight and that I’ll be going to surgery soon. Finally, someone comes to take me to the operating room. I notice a clock on the wall is showing after 12:30 am. Before I’m wheeled into the O.R. though, I’m out again.

I suddenly feel very light, like I’m floating. I open my eyes and notice that I’m floating near the ceiling, looking down on myself and several people in green. I am unable to understand exactly what they are saying, but something seems wrong. A nurse is injecting something directly into the tube attached to my arm. Someone quickly places a mask over my face and I see someone else, like he wants something in a hurry. I think this is a weird dream, that the medication must be making me hallucinate. Then I feel something pulling at me from behind. I turn toward the pull and everything seems to go dark. I was suddenly rushing forward, moving without trying to. I could sense a couple other people near me, but I couldn’t see anyone. I was experiencing a sensation of very rapid speed, when I saw a light far ahead of me. As the sensation of speed increased, the light took on a bright glow and seemed to be getting nearer.

I don’t remember feeling any fear, but I was intensly curious. When I finally passed through the light, I felt a strange sense of wrongness. Like something was not quite right. Many realizations flooded into my mind: I had been here before; this was not the end; friends were here; many things awaited me. Most of all and clearest of all was the thought ‘You don’t belong here yet!’ That was the wrongness I felt: I wasn’t supposed to be there yet. The next instant it was dark again. When I opened my eyes, I was in a room with a nurse asking me how I felt.

In 1988, on my way to work, I was involved in a near-fatal motorcycle accident. By all rights, I should have been dead. The type of accident I had, the injuries I did suffer, and by the reports I’ve heard and read; I should have died as a result of that accident. Everyone admits that it was surprising that I survived it. That accident erased all memory from the time I went to bed the night before, until around 3:30 that afternoon. However, what I’ve never told anyone is that I do have a memory of something happening while I was unconcious.

This memory begins shortly after the accident. I’m several feet above my body, looking down on the scene. Dust was still settling around me as I had ended up on the shoulder of the road. I could see a couple of people approaching my body and could faintly hear some voices: “Is he dead?” “Someone call 9-1-1.” I could hear other voices, but was unable to make out the words.

As I was moving backwards, away from the scene, I continued to look at my body. The edges of my vision were blurring— vanishing into darkness like I was looking through a tunnel. I could see that my helmet had come off and my head was covered with blood. My body was lying half on my back—half on my right side. My left leg was bent at the knee with my left ankle lying under my right leg. My left forearm was folded up under my body. My right arm laid out like it was pointing back towards the accident. My vision began getting smaller, the blackness rushing in from all sides, when I began to feel the familiar pull from behind.

As I turned around, I could feel myself rushing forward at a tremendous rate of speed. I seemed to be in a large tunnel, rushing toward a dazzling glow that sparkled ahead of me. Again, I was able to sense others around me, but not all of them were moving towards the light as I was. The rest were just waiting around and I got the feeling that they were afraid to enter or go near the light. But I didn’t feel any fear. After all, I had been in the light before and knew what awaited me. Those of us who were moving, seemed to start moving ever faster as we neared the light. I sensed another presence near me, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the dazzling glow in front of me. The presence seemed to take my hand and began to plead with me. I can’t say that I actually heard the words, but they were in my mind, nonetheless. I got the meaning of the thoughts of this other presence: I was needed by others and should not enter the light. I was unable to understand why I shouldn’t enter the light, because I had entered it before. I tried to ask the presence next to me as to the reason I was needed. The thoughts came back to me disjointed and seemed vaguely distressing. Those thoughts became almost a painful uneasiness in my head, but I knew that I could not stop. I had to get to that light, with or without my companion. I begged that other presence to come into the light with me, but once again it claimed that I shouldn’t enter the light because I was needed. I felt myself being slowed by the presence that was clasping my left hand. I cried out “ NO !” and shook myself free. I felt a shock of pain shoot up my left arm and explode in my brain as the other presence fell away from me. Then I shot forward and entered the welcoming, dazzling glow.