Richard Bandler - Frogs into Princes - Neuro Linguistic Programming

Tammy: Oh, yes—inmy dream world, too.

Most phobic people do not know what their original trauma was, and, indeed, it is not even necessary to know that. I'm going to do it as if it were necessary, but it's just part of the mythology.

Tammy has succeeded for years in making the same response over and over and over again. She has demonstrated adequately that she knows how to do that. A phobia can be thought of as nothing more than a one-trial learning that was never updated. And it worked, by the way. I will often turn right to the person and say this: I want to reassure the part of you that has been making you phobic all these years that I respect what it has done, and I regard that as a valid response. You're here. You survived. If there hadn't been a part to make that effective response to keep you out of certain situations, you might not be here. My desire is not to take away the choice of being phobic but to update it so that you can also make other responses which are more congruent with your full resources as a fully grown woman. We're going to use that same capacity to do one-trial learning to help you learn to do something else.

In a moment I'm going to ask you to do some time-traveling. As you go back I want you to increase pressure here on my hand at any point that you need to be reminded of your competence as a fully grown, mature woman. This is your connection with the present time and all the powerful adult resources that you haveas a fully grown person. Do you know what the feelings of the phobia are?

Tammy: Umhm. (He touches her arm.)

That's all you need to do to anchor the phobic response. Or you can ask a different question: What is the last time that you had an intense response like that?

Tammy: Umhm. (He touches her arm again.)

I got the same response that she gave a moment ago when I said "Do you know what the feelings of the phobia are?"—the same facial expression, the same breathing. That's now anchored on her arm. This anchor constitutes a stabilizing factor to help us go back and sort through her personal experience to find the original experience. It's not necessary to do it this way; this is one way to do phobias.

Your holding hands with me constitutes your connection to all the strength and resources you have as an adult woman. There were experiences in your past, namely those connected with this phobia, which we're going to go back and relive, but in a way that involves no discomfort at all, a way that involves total comfort. And I call to your mind the notion of dissociation that we talked about yesterday. We told you during the exercise you did yesterday afternoon to be sure you step inside the picture so thatyou recover the fullkinesthetics. The opposite holds true here. For years Tammy has been exposed to certain kinds of real life situations and responded with a lot of emotion, a lot of kinesthetic feelings over and over again. To have her go back and relive that experience again and have those feelings again will simply reinforce it. That's ridiculous. And most people's unconscious minds say "Bullshit! We aren't going back there; that hurts!" and they are called "resistant clients," right? Respect that resistance as a statement that says "Look, make some new arrangements so we don't have to go through the pain again."

The specific arrangements might go like this: I'd like you to close your eyes, Tammy. You can vary the pressure in your hand any time you need more strength. You can draw it directly from here, and that's also a way for me to know where you are. In a moment I'm going to reach over and touch you here on your arm. That's going to help you remember a little bit of the feelings of pinking. I don't want you to go through the feelings again. I want you to take these feelings— only as much of them as you need—anddrift back until there comes before your eyes a scene in whichyou see yourself over there at a younger age in a situation which has some connection with how you first learned to respond that way.

At some point while you see those images which are connected intimately with these feelings of pinking, I'm going to say "What do you see now?" I would like you to stabilize the image at that point. Likely it will be an image of yourself at a younger age, dressed in some particular way, in some colors, in some context. I don't know what any of that will be and at the moment you don't either, because you don't know where this came from. As soon as I ask you to stop the image, I want you to form a snapshot and just hold it stable. I don't want you to run any movies yet, because we need to make one more arrangement to make you even morecomfortable before you run the movie.

Remember that you can modulate how much of these feelings (He touches the phobia anchor on her arm.) you are going to use to drift back until you see a clear focused visual image connected with these feelings, that represents where this original learning took place. That's right, you draw on all the strength you need here, as you drift back through time, even further, take your time ... even more. There's no rush. Be perfectly comfortable. Now look at that image. And simply nod your head when you clearly see an image of yourself at a younger age....

Tammy: I see myself at a younger age but I'm not in any situation. I'm just—

That's fine. Can you see what color shoes you are wearing?

Tammy: Black.

OK. Now I want you slowly to look at the surface that's right under the shoes. From there let your eyes slowly notice what is around you as you stand there in those little black shoes. Remembering to breathe, remembering to use these feelings of strength and competence. You'vedemonstrated adequately that you know about those old feelings. Now I want you to demonstrate that you can have these feelings of strength as you watch that image. Remembering to breathe; oxygen is essential for this whole process. That's right. When you have the still image, just nod….

OK. Now, I would like you to hold that image constant, just a snapshot. Relax your right hand—notyour left. Your left can be as tight as you need it to be in order to get access to these feelings of strength that you need. And you are breathing nicely now. Continue your breathing.

Now, I would likeyou slowly to float up and out of your body so that you can actually see yourself sitting here holding hands with me, ridiculous as that may sound. Take all the time you need. And when you have succeeded in floating out of your body so that you can see yourself from above or the side or the front or the back, just nod that you have succeeded. Excellent.

Now, staying in that third position, I want you to look past yourself sitting here holding my hand and feeling the feelings of strength and adult resourcefulness. This time, with feelings of strength and comfort, I want you to watch and listen carefully to everything that happened to young Tammy way back there, so that you can make new understandings and learnings about what occurred, and therefore have new choices. You are to do this, watching from the third position, having the feelings of resourcefullness and strength connected with my hand here. Knowing that you did live through that and you won’t have to again, let that younger part of you feel the old feelings over there as she goes through that old experience for the last time. When you’ve seen and heard it all, adequate for your making new understandings, simply nod your head and stay there. You can begin the movie now…. (She nods.)

All right, now very, very slowly I want you to float down from the third position and step back in and reunite with your body, sitting here with feelings of resourcefulness and strength….