Richard Bandler - Reframing. Neuro–Linguistic Programming™ and the Transformation of Meaning

That's a contradiction. You asked «What signal can come in the most favored system which I can trust to be an unconscious signal?» The most favored representational system is the one that is in consciousness. It's best to have a signal that is not under conscious control. If your signal is internal dialogue and you don't trust it, then the only way to have a signal that you will trust is to have an involuntary kinesthetic or visual response that intensifies and diminishes. You get a yes/no involuntary signal which is not finger–lifting or anything you can consciously control.

Bill: I get the same confusion when we talk about finger signals. Everybody talks about hypnotizing people and using finger signals. Most people I work with can do those quite voluntarily. What is the use of having a person give you a signal which can be under conscious voluntary control?

They can consciously move their fingers, but they can't do it with unconscious movement. Can you distinguish between conscious movement and unconscious movement?

Bill: Yes. What bothers me is this: the person may be giving me all the signs of being deep in trance, and I'm seeing lots of involuntary changes. And then the finger signal looks like conscious movement. Do I necessarily interpret that as being a conscious movement?

No, not necessarily, but I always do. I would say «NOT THAT MIND!» Something subtle like that. I want verification. Personally, I usually do not use finger signals as signals. I use them to distract the client, and as a way of setting up some other signal system.

Bill: How, specifically, do you set up those other signals?

One thing I do is calibrate, I say «Your unconscious mind can lift this finger to answer 'yes.'" Then I watch and find out what else occurs naturally. «And it can use this finger to answer 'no.'" I notice the nonverbal differences between them. If I'm not sure, I do it ten times until I'm sure.

Another thing you can do is this: before the client goes into trance, sometimes you can set up great signals by saying «Look, you are going to go into a trance. What we are going to do is set up a 'yes' (shifts his head left) … 'no' (shifts his head right) system of communication.» Then when the person goes into trance, you'll often get these great signals—his head will shift left and right. Of course, you can use any movement to install a signal—a raised eyebrow, a flaring nostril, or any other signal that he can detect unconsciously. If he doesn't signal the way you established, then you can do other things. You can say «And when things aren't going the way I want them to, I lift an eyebrow in disdain," using embedded commands to make sure the eyebrow lifts. You can do really obvious things, and his conscious mind won't notice. Sometimes I'll set up the yes/no signals with a person's feet using one foot for «yes» and the other foot for «no.» I'll say «When you are really positively behind something, you put your best foot forward … and you know which foot is the right foot to do that with, don't you?» He'll demonstrate nonverbally. The important thing is that I always verify by asking innocuous questions. Rather than going immediately for the material I'm interested in, I start asking questions that I know the answer to, in order to make sure that I have the right signal in the right place. I'll say «Now, your name is Bill, and you know this is to be true, do you not?» If I get a «no» response, then I say «Aha! To whom am I speaking?» You can learn about this in detail in Trance–formations.

Woman: When you are working with yourself, and there's some part of you that you can't really identify, or there's a part that just refuses to actually come out and say what it is, and you can't really get to that part—

That's just like saying «Well, there's a member of a family I can't really talk to.» That's always a function of your communication. Sometimes a person will go inside and he'll say «Well, nothing happens.» There are a number of things that you can do. One thing that almost always works is to say «Well, I know that for years now you have not gotten along with this part. You've insulted it and fought with it, and I wouldn't talk to you either if you did that to me. So I recommend that you go inside and apologize and tell it that you misunderstood its intentions and now you would sincerely like to communicate with it.» After a person goes inside and apologizes, nine times out of ten he'll get a response.

Sometimes a person goes inside to reframe and says «All right, you cruddy stinking part.» And of course that part goes «If you want a response, take that! Pachchh! Do you want me to intensify that?» Your communication with your own parts has got to be as graceful or more graceful than what you do with other people.

Woman: Yesterday you mentioned finding a part that didn't seem to have a function. What do you do then?

In principle, what you do is really easy. Since the part doesn't have a function, you just give it a positive function that it will agree to. In practice, doing this can sometimes be a bit confusing.

About four years ago I worked with a woman who told me that when she was alone, she couldn't decide what to do. She became nervous and distraught and paced the floor. When her husband was home, she would sit down and read a magazine, or go outside. But when she was by herself, she couldn't sit down and read a magazine.

I said to her, «Well, it seems like you go to a lot of trouble to get nervous when people aren't around. How do you remember to do it every single time?»

She just stared into space because that was such a weird question. «I don't know. I never thought about that.»

«Well, obviously some part of you must be making you do it, and it seems silly to me that the part would do it for no reason at all. It must be trying to do something for you that's useful, and we need to find out what it is.»

So we went into six–step reframing. We went through a phase where the signals disappeared and then came back six or seven times. Finally, since I couldn't get to the next step, I had her go inside again. «Ask this part if it knows what it is trying to do for you that is useful.» She got no response. So I said «If it doesn't know if what it is doing is useful or not, have it answer yes–no–yes–no.» She went in and asked it, and it went «yes–no–yes–no," back and forth like that, repeatedly. She looked kind of confused, because on one level she was getting these nonverbal responses, and on the other, she didn't know what it was about.

Then I said to the part «Would you be willing to tell her the function so that she can tell me? As long as she has to tell me what the function is, and I promise you that I will be the one to decide if what you are doing is useful or not, and not her, would that be all right?» I got an instant and emphatic «yes» to that without her even going inside. Then suddenly she clapped her hands over her ears and got a weird look on her face.

«What did it tell you?»

«Well, I don't really want to say it.»

«Well, you have to. I promised, you know. And I keep my promises.» The logic in that statement is pretty twisted, but it got her to tell me.

This part said something very metaphoric. «You are always alone with other people, and in a crowd by yourself.» I thought about that for a minute, and it didn't make much sense to me, but it seemed like it was trying to get her to do something better with her time when she was with other people. So I asked some questions. «Is it that when she is with other people she doesn't really talk to them, she just sits around and feels secure? And when nobody's there, she spends all her time trying to figure out who she could be with and what she could do? So are you trying to get her to utilize resources when they are more available? Is that it?» Again I got an immediate and emphatic answer: «No.» So I had her go inside and ask if it was something else. It said «I don't want to answer that question. What you said just before sounds good. That sounds like something good to do. I get so annoyed when I don't know what to do.»