Richard Bandler - Reframing. Neuro–Linguistic Programming™ and the Transformation of Meaning

Then I said «Now I'm going to demonstrate that you are a fool.» That got her attention. «There are parts of you that are very powerful allies, and until you appreciate them, you are going to have lots of difficulties. I want to demonstrate their presence. You have congru–ently stated to me that you do not believe you have an unconscious mind. You think you are in control of your behavior. It's obvious to me that you are not in control of your problem behavior, but I assume that you run your own body. That is, I assume that you know what your body temperature is, and that you can control it to some degree.» She said «Of course.» She couldn't make any other answer, because she thought she didn't have an unconscious mind.

So I said «In a moment I'm going to reach over and touch your left arm from the shoulder to the elbow, and when I do, that arm will turn ice cold. And I request that you resist me with all the conscious force you have.» I waited until I got an unconscious signal «OK, I'm ready.» Then I reached over and touched her arm, and she got chills. Then I said «But notice how warm the other arm is.» The other arm instantly became warmer.

I demonstrated to her that I could actually change the temperature of her body, and that she could not resist. In fact, the more she attempted to resist, the more dramatic the changes were. At that point I had convinced her of the reality of at least one other part of herself.

Man: Why was it necessary to do anything with what she consciously thought was true?

It wasn't. The only value in throwing a bone to the conscious mind every once in a while is to keep the person from raising too many objections. It keeps her from saying «This isn't working. You don't understand what you are doing.»

Now let's go back to reframing. Assume that you've got access to the part of me that makes me do Y. Now continue.

Bill: You know, as you are driving along the highway, you've got a whole bunch of dials in front of you that tell you lots of things. The water gauge is kind of a way for the engine to tell you «Hey, I need water» when the water level is too low and the temperature is getting too high.

Ken: That's a funny way to talk about it!

Bill: Yeah, I know, but just imagine it. You have an oil pressure gauge that lets you know whether or not the engine needs oil. (Ken: Yeah.) And I know it's kind of silly to think about, but I'm wondering, if the part of you that runs Y were a part of an engine, what type of gauge would you need for that part to let you know what it wants? Would it be a visual gauge? Would it be a sound? Would it be some feeling?

Ken: Well, I can't see anything. I suppose it would have to be a feeling.

Bill: I'm sure that you can tell when your tires need air by feeling the way the truck rides. You know how you can tell whether the tires on your rig are full or not just by the sluggishness of the truck, right?

Ken: Yeah, you've got to be able to! Yeah, I know what you are talking about.

I hope you all understand what Bill is doing. He's using my perceptual reality to make all the points that he wants to make. If you have this kind of flexibility to shift your words and examples so as to make sense in my reality, then you can communicate artistically.

Bill: Do you think that after all the years you've been driving truck, you could tell the slightest difference in tire pressure?

Ken: Yeah, I'm good at it.

Bill: Are you good enough to tell a slight difference in this feeling (Bill gestures towards Ken's stomach.) that you get from the part that runs Y?

Ken: Oh, yeah! I know when that's happening. There's no doubt about it.

Bill: Well, I'd like you to tell me what type of difference you feel when it changes?

Ken: Well, when I'm doing Y … Do you want me to just go ahead and tell you about this, or do you want me to still use this Y and Z routine?

Bill: You're out front. You're a truck driver. You can just tell me.

Ken: Yeah. OK. When I get home from a trip, I'm really tired. (His shoulders sag.) I've been on the road for fourteen to sixteen hours sometimes. The first thing that happens when I walk in the door is that my wife comes up to me and goes «Hi, honey, tell me about your trip.» (He stiffens up.) But all I want to do right then is fall into bed and relax. And the more I try to just do what I need to do to fall into bed and relax, the more she wants to talk … you know … because she's interested, if you know what I mean… . You know what happened? She went back to school. I mean, education is important—

Bill: Let's hold it for a second. I would really like to find out all about what she's been doing, but—

Ken: Well, I'll tell you. I don't—

Bill: But I have one question before that.

Ken: Yeah? What's that?

Bill: When she comes up to you and says «Hi, honey …» what is she trying to do? What does she want from you? Do you think she wants your attention, your love?

Ken: Yeah, she wants my attention, my love. Yeah. I've been away sixteen hours, you know! (He leans back into a position of pride and self–satisfaction.)

Bill: Do you think you have the ability to show her your love before she even asks for it? Is that a challenge you are man enough to meet?

Ken: Hey! Of course! (He straightens up and his body shifts to a more «confident» posture.)

Good. That's content reframing. Bill didn't bother to go through the official six–step reframing model; he simply used my beliefs about myself to get leverage to induce a change. The thing that is very elegant about the sequence that just occurred is that Bill had the flexibility to find the things in my reality that he could use as leverage to get me to use some new behavior. I've given him several indications, both analogically and verbally, «Well, I've been away sixteen hours, you know, that I take pride in being a real «man.» So he says «Are you man enough to take control of the situation?» And that would work. Bill also had the finesse to be able to stop me from talking about my wife going back to school, which was irrelevant to what Bill wanted to accomplish.

Man: Isn't this hypothetical truck driver asking you to change his wife's behavior, though?

As a therapist, the perceptual frame you can use is «Of course you want her to be different, and the way that's going to happen is that you'll be different: your being different will make her different.» Of course you won't tell the client that. You are going to use leverage the way Bill just did, in order to force the truck driver into new behavior. That will have the effect of changing her behavior.

OK. Do you have any comments about the sequence that we just role–played here? Notice that this was not a standard six–step reframing. However, most of the steps were there; they were just externalized. After Bill made the content reframe, I became the part that was the new behavior. I didn't look the way I looked when I talked about Y. When I became the new behavior, I actually accessed the situation in all systems. I saw my wife, heard the sound of her voice, and had the kinesthetic sensations of being at home. That takes care of the future–pace, so Bill doesn't need to ask «Will that part take responsibility for the new behavior occurring in that same context?»

The ecological check hasn't come up yet, but I assume that he would go there next. Alternatively, he could use a second session with me as an ecological check. You don't have to do all of the steps in the same session, although it's much better if you do.

Woman: How about testing?

That's a good question. How would you test?

Woman: Are you going home after this, or are you going on a trip somewhere?

Ken: No, I'm going straight home after this. (Ken analogically accesses the new behavior.)