Richard Bandler - Reframing. Neuro–Linguistic Programming™ and the Transformation of Meaning

True. Why not? Go for something worthwhile, I always say.

Woman: Is that building a new part, or is it just…

Well, the task of the part that she wants to build is not to make her have orgasms. Its job is to get another part to do it more often. The part she wants is what we call an «elbow part.» It gets other parts to go to work. It's like the difference between a motivation strategy and a learning strategy. One gets you to do it, and the other actually does the work. For instance, with a weight problem, it's one thing to build a part whose job is to diet, and it's another one to build a part whose job is to get you to go back on diets. There are different ways of thinking about how you are going to build parts and what you are going to build them for.

What we have been doing so far is step one: determining what specific outcome you want, and making sure that it is appropriate to build a part for that outcome. Before you build a part, I want you always to check to find out if another reframing model is more appropriate to get what you want….

For those of you who have chosen a part that you want and specified the outcome, I want to take you through step two. This is a fairly complex procedure, and we're going to do it methodically—not metaphorically. As a therapist you can dance around a little bit if you want to, but we're going to go through it step by step. I recommend highly that you have a piece of paper and a pencil during this procedure, because later there are going to be some things that you're going to have to keep track of, and there may be a lot of them.

I want all of you who are going to play this game with me to go inside and find out if you have any reference structures for the behavior that you want. Access any historical experiences that you can find of doing what you want to be able to do more methodically, more often, or whatever it is. Let's say somebody wanted to have a creative part. Perhaps they were only creative once ten years ago, or maybe they once thought of a new way to write a shopping list. Whatever it is, I want you to find whatever relevant examples exist. When you find those memories, I want you to step inside them, and get back all of the experience that goes with those memories. This is a very essential piece of what we are going to do. Take whatever amount of time you need to do that. Isolate specific instances of what you want, and be thorough about it. Make sure that you get at least one, two, or three experiences—if you have them—of what it is that you want this part to be able to do.

If what you want is a part that's going to make you have orgasms more often, don't remember an orgasm, remember a time when you got yourself to have one that you didn't expect. If you are going to build a part whose job is to get you to maintain a certain weight, you don't want to remember a time that you weighed that much, you want to remember a time when you maintained a specific weight.

Access those memories as intensely as possible. You don't need a long duration. The intensity of what you access will be the important part.

Woman: And if there are no examples?

If there are no examples, then wait. But be very careful, because there probably are examples of everything in your experience, whether you know it or not. If you can't find any examples, then just hold on, because step three is going to take care of that anyway… .

For those of you who could not find any examples and for those of you who are finished, I want to go on to step three, which has two parts. First I would like you to create for yourself a dissociated visual and auditory constructed image of how you would behave if you were actually demonstrating whatever it is that this part is going to have you do. So with the weight maintenance, you're not going to see yourself weighing a specific weight. You're going to see yourself engaging in the behaviors that would happen as you were at that weight, and as you gained some, and as you lost some—in other words, whatever behaviors would be operating as you maintained that weight. Most people are adept at losing and gaining weight. The problem is that when they get down, they go right back up. That new part's job is not to lose the weight, but to do things that result in maintaining the weight. You need to see yourself in that context: what you would look like, what you would be doing, and what you would sound like.

Next, when you see a whole sequence that you're satisfied with, step inside the image and go through the whole sequence again from the inside. Make sure that you like the feelings that you have as you do this, and do a good job. You will go through it twice: once from the outside, and once from the inside. First you visualize a good example of what you would look like and sound like doing the behavior. Then the second time through you find out what it would feel like from the inside. If you're satisfied after you have watched the whole movie from the outside, then step inside the movie and do it from the beginning all over again. If you're not satisfied with the feelings, go back and change the images as you look at them from the outside, and then go through it again from the inside… .

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Bill: When I go inside, there is an internal auditory which is not apparent to me when I'm looking at it from the outside. I don't know how to get rid of that. I can look at the image outside and see myself writing a manuscript. But as soon as I go inside, I'm sitting there at the typewriter and I'm starting to write out the first sentences, and a voice comes up that has all kinds of objections to what I'm doing. I don't believe that continuing that loop of going out and then back in is going to handle that.

OK, ask that auditory part if—for the purposes of your fantasy at this time—it would be quiet just for a few moments, because what you want to do is to find out if this is something you do want. If it turns out that it is something that you do want, you're not going to be able to get it unless this part agrees. That's the next step. So if it has an objection to your having the internal experience that you fantasized that you want, then it will have a chance to object, and rightfully so. But first it should allow you the opportunity of finding out if you want the new behavior. When it allows you to have that experience, you may discover that if you don't have that internal voice, you have nothing to write. If so, you would then have to construct another fantasy.

Woman: Are you asking for one fantasy or several fantasies?

You just want one fantasy which is an example of the way you would look from the outside, behaving as if you had this part. And then if you like it from the outside and it looks safe—no one strikes you, you don't fall off a cliff or anything—then go through the same sequence from the inside, and find out if you like the internal experience as well. Sometimes you think that you want a part, but when you try it out, you don't like it.

If you're not done, just go ahead and take the time you need to finish the third step. It will do you no good to jump ahead. I'm going to go ahead and give the instructions for the next step. If you miss them, don't worry. I'll probably end up giving them several times, because this step is a little complicated. Make sure you finish the step that you're on first. Take all the time you need. I'll go over it as many times as you need.

When you have the well–formed example of how you would behave if you actually had this part, and you are satisfied with that fantasy from the inside as well as from the outside, then the next thing I want you to do is an ecological check. This is step four. I want you to go inside and ask—and it is very important how you do this — « Does any part object to my having apart which will be in charge of making that fantasy a reality?» That is a yes or no question. If you get a verbal «yes," fine. If you get a feeling, you have it intensify for «yes» and diminish for «no.» You can use all the methods from the other refram–ing models for this.