Steve Harvey: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

You can do this.

We know you're strong enough to move the television set. But you should let him do it; say it's too heavy for you it's a man's job.

Yes, you're right there's nothing wrong with your arm and you are perfectly capable of opening your own car door. But doggone it, when you're going somewhere with a man, let him treat you like a lady and open the car door for you. If he doesn't automatically open said car door, stand by the darn thing and don't get in the vehicle until he realizes he needs to get his behind out of the driver's seat and come around and open the car door for you. That's his job.

We get that you've got plenty of money to pay for dinner. But sit there and let him pick up that check. That's what he's supposed to do when he's out with a woman on a date.

Yes, you are independent and you don't need anyone to take out the trash for you or hang your pictures or run to the Home Depot and pick up the supplies you need to.x the sink. But I lie to you not: if you put your.nger in your mouth and act like you haven't a clue what to do or the strength to do it, your man will step right in and handle that for you with a smile if you add a hearty, Baby, thank you so much for doing this for me I don't know what I'd do without you.

See, a lot of men would be better men if they were required to be, well, men. We're in this new age, and women have taken on these roles out of necessity I'll admit that. But at some point, you're either going to have to accept that you're going to be the big ol' strong, lonely woman, or you're going to have to back down and just be a lady. Women play roles all the time why is it when it comes to this, you're so unwilling to play the role, even when you know it's going to give you what you want and need? In the long run, being a girl allows you to relax. Why not take the opportunity to relax? Honest to goodness, I promise you it's not hard, it won't kill you, and whatever it is that you need, he will hop to it if you just show him a little appreciation.

Take a page from my wife and I: there's not a day that goes by that we don't compliment each other at least several times a day, but on one speci.c day recently, when she left me in charge of the kids while she ran some errands and did some work around the house, she saw I was worn out from chasing behind the children. Chasing behind children is not something I do. I mean I can do it but it's exhausting. Come on. Still, when Marjorie walked into the room and saw the harried look on my face, she very sweetly.ipped the script on me and said, Steve, thank you so much for watching the children you're a great father. Boy, I can't tell you how good that made me feel. She had hardly gotten the words out of her mouth before I hopped to, making sure those kids kept out of her way and stayed quiet while she was.nishing up what she had to do. Had that compliment not come through, I would have been salty about having to sit around with the kids all day when there were so many other things that I could have been doing and wanted to do. That compliment, you see, made me remember why I was in the game, and especially why Marjorie is on the team.

Appreciating a man, not undermining his con.dence, is the best way to get the best out of your guy. And the best way to appreciate him is by being a girl, and especially letting him be a man.

Now, I'm convinced that being a girl is a lost art form something that every woman can use some lessons in. So I've taken the liberty of showing you how to be a girl in some of the basic but most important situations in which you'll.nd yourself with a man. Guaranteed, if he's worth his salt, he'll be all in.

Don't tell him where you'd like to go tell him the kind of food and atmosphere you enjoy, and then let him.gure out a place that he thinks will suit your taste.

Don't tell him you'll drive let him get you to where you all need to go.

Don't tell him you want to go dutch let him pay.

Don't invite him up for a nightcap kiss him good night and let him.gure out what he needs to do to earn the cookie (but not before the ninety-day probation ends).

Don't try to.x the sink, the car, the toilet, or anything else let him do it.

Don't take out the garbage, paint, or mow the lawn that's his job.

Don't do any of the heavy lifting he was born with the muscle it takes to move sofas/television sets/bookshelves and the like.

Don't be afraid to make a meal or two the kitchen is both your and his friend.

Don't wear a T-shirt to bed every night a little lingerie never hurt anybody.

Your man knows what you want: the ultimate commitment The Ring. He knows, too, what he needs: you.

It seems obvious, then, that he would get himself to the jeweler, pick out a nice, hefty diamond, and then plot out an on-bended-knee proposal that would make the will you marry me? pitch that Grammy awarduwinning singer Seal made to supermodel Heidi Klum he proposed in an igloo he had built on top of a glacier fourteen thousand feet above sea level look like an invitation to the prom.

But your proposal never comes. And the way your man is acting, it's not coming anytime soon. And so, you wait. And wait. And wait some more.

This is the story of all-too-many women girlfriends who are putting in some serious work not only because they love their men, but because they want to prove they're The One. Everybody is clear about how you prove to him you're The One: Do all the things for him a wife would do support him emotionally, be loyal, work it out in the bedroom, tell him you love him often and show it, too. Maybe live with him. Have his babies. Get close really close to his mom and sisters and friends. Basically, you give him everything he needs and all of what he wants.

Check out this Strawberry Letter from a listener who called herself Biological Clock Ticker, a thirty-one-year-old single, childless woman in a relationship she said feels like a three-year-long booty call:

He tells me he loves me and wants me to have his children. My biological clock is ticking like crazy, and we have been trying for the past year to get pregnant, to no avail (I believe that this is a sign). The problem is that he says he does not want to be in a committed relationship or marriage because he doesn't want to answer to anyone. As long as I have known him, I have shown him that I am not at all like the other women that he has dated. I was there for him when he injured himself, quit his job, when his father died, and when he was unemployed for months. I have been encouraging him, and am there for him.nancially and physically. I've been waiting and hanging in there, hoping he'll marry me because I don't think that I will get anyone else that would want to have a child with me. Am I being a fool for waiting for him? Should I just let it go?

She and all too many women in similar predicaments can't understand why, after all of this hard work, he won't give her the one thing she needs and wants. Well, let me break it down for her and you. Your man hasn't asked you to marry him because of one or more of the following reasons: (1) he is still married to someone else; (2) you're really not the one he wants; or, the real answer you don't want to hear, (3) you haven't required him to marry you or set a date.

In fact, I know of a few guys whose ladies are smack-dab in the middle of this predicament right now. One that stands out is a couple that dated for a year before she ended up pregnant. To her credit, the single mom (she has a son from an earlier failed relationship) knew she didn't want to have a second child with a man who wasn't there to help raise her kids, so she made it simple for him: I'm only going to have this child if you're willing to be a father for real not this part-time/every-oncein-a-while/when-I-feel-like-it kind of dad. And, faced with the prospect of losing her and his baby, he stepped up to the plate: He agreed to be there for their child, and gave up his apartment, and moved in with his girlfriend while they prepared for the birth of their son.