Steve Harvey - Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

But respond to him by saying something like Thanks, my health is important to me and working out is a great way to keep in shape, and he knows that he's going to have to dig a little deeper to.nd out more about you. This is no guarantee that he will think you're a keeper you'll have to do a bit more talking than that simple line but at the very least, he won't immediately peg you as a throwback. Your comments may lead him to talk about why he works out, which could lead to a meaningful conversation about a mutual interest you both have for staying in shape. And that could lead to him asking more questions, for which a keeper will have plenty of answers laced, of course, with enough requirements to let this man know that you're a keeper, someone who is looking for a man who will stick around.

Now, revealing that you're a keeper is no guarantee that this guy won't just walk away. Some men really are just sport.shing and have no intention of doing anything more than throwing back the women they bed. If this is the case with this man, then let him walk what do you care? He's not the guy you're looking for. I know that you and your girls have been told for years on end that you just don't pass up any opportunities when a man walks your way he could be The One. But I'm here to tell you that this philosophy is just plain dumb. Women are smart you all can tell when your friends are lying, you know when your kids are up to no good, co-workers can't get anything past you at the job. You're quick to let each one of them know that you're not stupid, that you see them coming a mile away, and you're not going to let them play that game with you. But when it comes to your relationships with the opposite sex, all of that goes out the window; you relinquish your power and lose all control over the situation cede it to any old man who looks at you twice. Just because he happened to look at you twice.

All I'm telling you to do is be smart about it. Know that if this man isn't looking for a serious relationship, you're not going to change his mind just because you two are going out on dates and being intimate. You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord's green earth you're capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you're independent (which means, to him, that you're not going to be in his pockets) but if he's not ready for a serious relationship, he's going to treat you like a sports.sh. A perfect example of this is in this Strawberry Letter these are letters the Steve Harvey Morning Show receives from its listeners sent in by a woman who clearly was just starting to realize she was nothing more than a plaything:

I have been seeing this man for six months and everything seemed cool until January of this year. We've gone out and visited each other's homes, but all of a sudden, he's stopped calling and when I call him, he seems excited, but then he is very short with me. He plans trips and cancels them. And when I ask him if we should cut off all communication, he says no. But he doesn't act like he wants to be bothered. I don't know what happened, and I still like him, but it just bothers me to know that something could be on his mind that he is not sharing with me or maybe he has found a woman and wants to keep me in his back pocket.

He's sport.shing, and in her heart, she knows this. But she's still trying to hang in there and see if he's going to do right by her. Any woman in this situation should just leave that guy alone. Instead of investing all this time and energy in a man who can't and won't live up to your expectations, let that guy walk. And then when the next man comes along, take control and let him know your ground rules up front (see my chapter Men Respect Standards Get Some): I don't take phone calls after 10 P. M., because my kids are asleep and I'm getting my rest; I appreciate a man who shows up when he says he's going to show up and calls when he's going to be late; and I don't have sex with anyone until I'm sure that we are in a serious, committed relationship no casual sex for me are all acceptable ground rules for any man coming at you. If those ground rules are too much for him, he's going to walk away because he's sport.shing.

If, however, he has something going for himself, and he knows that in order to complete his life he needs a woman who has something going for herself, he's going to stick around and keep the conversation going. That's the man who is willing to put in work who knows that he's not going to just romance you, get what he wants, and walk away. That guy right there? He's your man. He's.shing for a keeper, and after he's proven himself worthy of your time, then you can let him take you on home,.llet you, put some cornmeal on you, fry you up, and serve you up on a delicious plate.

Need more examples of differences between sports.sh and keepers? Read on:

A woman who commands respect is a keeper; a woman who lets men get away with disrespecting her is a throwback.

A woman who is dressed appropriately has her goodies reasonably covered, but is still sexy, is a keeper; a woman who is scantily clad and dripping sex is a throwback.

A woman who won't let you feel all over her body while you're dancing is a keeper; a woman who drops it like it's hot and puts on a dance.oor performance that would make video vixen Karrine Steffans blush is a throwback.

A woman who takes a man's number but doesn't give him her own is a keeper; a woman who hands out her home, work, and cell phone numbers and e-mail and home addresses to a man who's done nothing more than buy her a drink and ask how he can reach her is a throwback.

A woman who can hold a respectful, respectable conversation with a man and his mother is a keeper; a woman who shudders at the prospect of having to talk to the matriarch of a man's family is a throwback.

A woman who can adapt to any situation thrown at her she can hold her own at the PTA meeting, in the boardroom, in a restaurant, at a sporting event is a keeper; a woman who can't put together a coherent sentence or makes it clear she has no interest in doing so is a throwback.

A woman who knows she wants to be married and raise a family and lets a man know this up front is a keeper; a woman who doesn't have a plan for her relationship life beyond next weekend is a throwback.

A woman whom we can introduce to our friends and family is a keeper; a woman we don't even bother introducing to our friends or family is a throwback.

A woman who smiles and takes care of herself and is generally happy with her life is a keeper; a woman who doesn't take care of herself and is sour all the time, has an attitude wider than all the ocean, and doesn't hesitate to lay somebody out for the slightest transgression is a throwback.

A woman who shows her appreciation for all that you do for her is a keeper; a woman who acts like nothing you do can make her happy is a throwback.

A woman who is loyal is a keeper; a woman who always has her eye out for the next best thing is a throwback.

A woman who understands that a man validates his manhood by who he is, what he does, and how much he makes, and who knows how to.nesse her relationship so that her man feels like he's handling his business is a keeper; a woman who wields her paycheck and in.uence like a sword and belittles his career and.nancial contributions is a throwback.

If his conversation with you is extremely super.cial, and never seems to graduate beyond the surface, he's sport.shing; if he genuinely seems interested in your needs, life, desires, and future, then he's looking for a keeper.

If he laughs off your requirements and standards, then he's sport.shing; if he seems willing to abide by your rules, and actually follows through on them, then he's looking for a keeper.

If he takes your phone number but waits longer than twenty-four hours to call, he's sport.shing; if he calls you right away, he's showing that he's genuinely interested in you, and is most likely looking for a keeper.