Steve Harvey - Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

And then comes the hard part deciding whether to keep the.sh or throw it back. So in addition to.shing, hooking them, and reeling them in, I get another rush when I'm forced to look at them, see how they feel, and evaluate whether they make it on my stringer. And trust me: a.sh has to be really special to make it onto my stringer. Otherwise, it gets tossed back into the water, so I can.sh some more.

A man.shes for two reasons: he's either sport.shing or.shing to eat, which means he's either going to try to catch the biggest.sh he can, take a picture of it, admire it with his buddies and toss it back to sea, or he's going to take that.sh on home, scale it,.llet it, toss it in some cornmeal, fry it up, and put it on his plate. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women.

See, men are, by nature, hunters, and women have been put in the position of being the prey. Think about it: it used to be that a man picked a wife, a man asked a woman to dinner, a man had to get permission from a woman's father to have her hand in marriage, and even, in some cases, to date her. We pursued in fact, we've been taught all our lives that it was not only a good thing to chase women, but natural. Women have bought into this for years, too; how many times have you or one of your girls said, I like it when a man pursues me, or I need him to romance me and give me.owers and make me feel like I'm wanted? Flowers, jewelry, phone calls, dates, sweet talk these are all the weapons in our hunting arsenal when we're coming for you.

But the question always remains: once we hook you, what will we do with you? Taking a cue from my love of.shing, my philosophy is that men will treat women like one of these two things: a sports.sh or a keeper. How we meet, how the conversation goes, how the relationship develops, and the demands you make on a man will all determine whether you'll be treated like a sports.sh a throwback or a keeper, the kind of woman a man can envision settling down with. And the way we separate the two is very simple, as I explain next.

Doesn't have any rules, requirements, respect for herself, or guidelines, and we men can pick up her scent a mile away. She's the party girl who takes a sip of her Long Island iced tea or a shot of her Patr=n, then announces to her suitor that she just wants to date and see how it goes, and she's the conservatively dressed woman at the of.ce who is a master at networking, but clueless about how to approach men. She has no plans for any ongoing relationships, is not expecting anything in particular from a man, and sets absolutely not nary one condition or restriction on anyone standing before her she makes it very clear that she's just along for whatever is getting ready to happen. For sure, as soon as she lets a man know through words and action that he can treat her just any old kind of way, he will do just that. Men will stand in line to sign up for that, believe me.

Never gives in easily, and the standards/requirements start the moment you open your mouth. See, she understands her power and wields it like a samurai sword. She commands not demands respect, just by the way she carries herself. You can walk up to her and give her your best game, and while she may be impressed by what you say, that's no guarantee that she's going to let the conversation go any further, much less give you her phone number and agree to give you some of her valuable time. Men automatically know from the moment she opens her mouth that if they want her, they'll have to get in line with her standards and requirements, or keep it moving because she's done with the games and isn't interested in playing. But she will also send all the signals that she is capable of being loyal to a man and taking good care of him, appreciative of what he's bringing to the relationship, and ready for love true, longlasting love.

News.ash: it's not the guy who determines whether you're a sports.sh or a keeper it's you. (Don't hate the player, hate the game.) When a man approaches you, you're the one with total control over the situation whether he can talk to you, buy you a drink, dance with you, get your number, take you home, see you again, all of that. We certainly want these things from you; that's why we talked to you in the.rst place. But it's you who decides if you're going to give us any of the things we want, and how, exactly, we're going to get them. Where you stand in our eyes is dictated by your control over the situation. Every word you say, every move you make, every signal you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport.shing. I like to think that the way you play this situation is much like how you climb the ladder at work. Think about it: dating is a lot like a business; the best way to become successful is to master and control things you have control over. When I.rst started in show business, I knew I wanted to be a top-.ight comedian. But because the club owners didn't know me well, all I could get was a gig as the opening act the.rst guy up,.fteen minutes to do my thing, and then off the stage I went. Still, I knew that if I was on my game showed up on time, networked, and, most important, gave thought-provoking, funny performances that made the audiences and the club owners remember me I could get the ultimate job as the headliner, the comedian who gets his name on the marquee and forty-.ve minutes to make people scream with laughter. I controlled my.fteen minutes by making people laugh hard enough to remember me, and then parlayed it into gigs as the featured comedian, the performer who gets thirty minutes on the stage. And then I did the same thing with my thirty minutes onstage, making people laugh so hard that club owners didn't have any other choice but to make me the featured act.

See? My success in getting to be one of the Kings of Comedy was based on my desire and ability to control my product my performance which ultimately made me exactly who I wanted to be. And doing that got me exactly what I wanted success. The same applies to a woman who wants to be a keeper rather than a sports.sh. You control what you can control your image, the way you conduct yourself, the way you let men talk to and approach you and use that to get the relationship you want.

Let me bring it home for you: imagine you're in the health club, and you're on the stair climber, in your tight red athletic bra and matching form-.tting spandex gym pants, glistening and dewy with sweat, getting your workout on, looking really.t and sexy. A good-looking guy comes in he's handsome,.t, no rings on his.ngers. And when he walks up to the treadmill next to where you're working out, the chemistry between the two of you is electric; he smiles, you smile back; you move to another machine, he moves to one not too far from you; he glances at you, you glance back. And when the two of you are.nished working out, he goes all out comes up to you and breaks the ice.

Looked like you had a good workout, he might say, looking you in your eyes, and then letting his gaze linger somewhere around your hips. A woman who takes good care of herself. Nice.

How you respond the way you control this exchange will mean all the difference between whether he considers you a throwback or a keeper. Say something akin to You know, a girl's gotta look hot, and then twirl around so he can get a better view, and that man is going to do a mental calculation of just how fast he can get you into the bed, and whether he can suddenly switch his workout time so he doesn't have to see you again after he hits it. A man will determine just from those seven words and that tiny action that you're a woman who can be easily had someone who's out for a good time and is getting herself in shape solely to keep her body looking right so that guys can look at it and really enjoy it. I assure you, the next few sentences out of his mouth likely will involve some serious attempts to reel you in, and, if you bite, he'll get you hook, line, and sinker. And then he'll keep it moving.