O.A. - Ruby

“Well, you could share your thoughts.”

“Thoughts about what? I don’t know what thoughts to tell you about. I don’t always understand them myself.”

“Listen, I’m not leaving you alone until you say something. We’re all worried about you.”

Damn! Here we go again!

“Once again I repeat: I wasn’t going to do anything to myself then.”

Somewhere in my solar plexus area an uncontrollable anger began to boil, which according to experience, would turn to rage if I did not switch my thoughts from this conversation to something else.

“Did I say something about that time? Perhaps it’s because of the drugs…”

So. You need to take nine deep breaths through the nose. I am calm. I am completely and totally calm. Things are good. There are so many handsome guys around… I’m fine. The guys are worried about me. It’s better than if they didn’t care. Things are good. Inhale, exhale. I am a child of space – I have no problems. Om. Breathe in. Damn! I’m sitting with my eyes closed…

“…to be honest this whole evening is for you. You should try to have fun and have a good time. You would definitely not come here yourself.” Camilla was looking away and had not noticed that I had been sitting with my eyes closed for some time.

“I would say thank you, but words cannot express everything I feel.”

“Don’t say thanks.”

“Your mom raised you to be humble.”

Cam smiled broadly.

“Look,” she nodded toward the dance floor, “our baby is no longer shy at all.”

Amir was dancing with his eyes closed in the very center of the hall. His dance movements were somewhat tectonic, but I would better describe his dance style as a “Parkinson’s Party.”

Sophia returned to our table:

“I was talking to Amir. He is having an identity crisis. Again.”

Has he forgotten that he is a living human being?

“I beg your pardon,” a man’s voice came from behind me, “may I invite you to dance?”

Sopha and Cam smiled. I turned around and froze. He was a tall guy with a stylish beard and a black T-shirt wrapped around his perfect muscular torso. Around the bicep of his right arm was a colored tattoo of a snake biting its own tail, Ouroboros. Tight jeans hugged his perfect, muscular legs. I was betting that his buttocks were perfect too.

I think I forgot how to breathe…

Who was he speaking to?

It seemed to me that his smile was a little on the bewildered side.

“Of course, you may! Oleg why are you frozen as if rooted to the spot? Look what a nice gentleman is asking you to dance.” Camilla had clearly gone too far in her role as the pimp.

I got up from the table and said “Oleg” in a timid voice and stretched out my hand. A handsome young man who I really hoped would be my future boyfriend (due to the high level of dopamine in my blood it was difficult to concentrate), shook my hand and said, “Pleased to meet you, Herman.”

Herman… Even your name is perfect. Herman and Oleg. Oleg and Herman.

On the dance floor, as if ordered by higher powers, one of Rihanna’s slow songs, Love on the Brain, was playing.

This would be our song now.

To my regret, Herman put his hands on me well above the waist.

He almost stuck them in my armpits, although such an action should characterize him in a positive light. It meant that he was well-mannered and during our first dance he wanted to demonstrate his good manners.

Since it was important to show that I was completely relaxed and calm and not trying to remember what he was wearing so that on our anniversary I could tell friends about our first meeting with all of the details, I put my hands on his shoulders and gathering all my courage into an iron fist and decided to be the first to start the conversation:

“First time here?”

“Yes, you know, I’ve never been to such an establishment before,” it was evident that Herman was grateful that I was the first to start the conversation, “and you?”

“Me too. I always wanted to come, but you know how it is – you want and intend but…”

“Are you here with your girlfriends?”

“Yeah. And with a friend.” Damn! He might think I mean boyfriend! “My friend is straight. By the way, he must be around here somewhere on the dance floor.”

“I’m straight too. My friends and I decided to bring our gay friend here. He’s having a difficult time right now and we are trying to cheer him up and distract him from his problems.”

Like hell you say… Yeah right, you’ve got to be kidding me…

It’s hard to imagine the expression on my face when Herman looked at me but judging by the way his tone changed, he only then understood what the situation had appeared to be.

“Damn… Friend… It just dawned on me… You got it all wrong. Sorry…”

“Yeah sure, funny situation, everything’s cool, but then why did you invite me to dance?”

I hoped the smile that I squeezed out of myself did not look as pathetic as my self-esteem was at that moment, after this stupid moron steamrolled it into the asphalt.

“Really, I’m sorry again. I’m really embarrassed.”

Are you frickin deaf?! Why the hell did you invite me to dance?!

“Never mind, we’re adults, things happen.”

Now I will never be able to listen to Rihanna for the rest of my life.

“And those two girls who were sitting at the table with you, are they together?”

“You mean if they’re a couple or not?”

“Yes.”

“No,” it seemed that my voice was getting thinner and thinner with every sentence, and there was a real chance that I might cry out in frustration. “They are sisters.”

“Cool! I wanted to invite the one with the pink hair to dance but got confused because of how the redhead was acting things. What is her name?”

“Which one? The redhead?”

“No, the second one.”

I hate you! Despite your beauty… Your perfect hands… Damn you…

“Sophia. And the redhead is her sister Camilla.”

“Does she have a boyfriend? Is she seeing anyone now?”

And how well it had all started…

“She’s not dating anyone at the moment.”

“But she likes guys?”

Yeah, get away from me and go ask yourself!

“Yes, she likes guys.”

“And what does she do?”

Before this conversation Love on the Brain had been one of my favorite songs.

“She’s a veterinarian.”

“What does she like? Do you think I should go talk to her?”

Despite all the tragedy of the situation, I was touched by how such an adult guy could behave like an insecure, timid first grader.

“Herman, I’ll be honest with you. I think that right now it’s not such a good idea to approach her to get acquainted. Most likely when I return to the table they will be trying to calm me down because of a misunderstanding I’ve just had.”

“And what should I do then? How should I proceed?”

Damn, you’re cute.

“Listen, today is definitely out of the question and I want to warn you: she is my friend, and if you turn out to be an asshole, it will be worse for you.”

I surprised even myself with what I said. However, on the other hand, I showed him that I am not wishy washy and can be rude. Let him remember that in case he ever decides to change orientation or experiment.

“I just want to get to know her, and if everything goes well, get to know her even better.” Herman was at a loss, which made me very happy.

“Listen, let’s exchange phone numbers and one of these days we will call or write each other and discuss a plan for further action?”