Sophie Love - Forever, With You

Serena bent down to talk to Chantelle. She had such a natural ability to connect with people that Emily could see Chantelle instantly warm to her.

“You know, they sell rainbow cotton candy here,” Serena was saying. “With sparkles in it! Do you want to come and get some with me?”

Chantelle looked up at Daniel and Emily. They both nodded their encouragement. As they watched Serena and Chantelle walk hand in hand over to the cotton candy booth, Emily felt a sudden sense of loss, almost grief. The little girl had only walked to the other side of the street and already Emily felt her absence. This must be what other moms feel like, Emily thought to herself with a smile.

Just then, Daniel pulled Emily close to him, as though seeking her comfort and reassurance.

“You’re doing fine,” she told him as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

“I don’t feel like I am,” he replied. “I feel like I’m constantly waiting for a disaster.”

“That makes perfect sense,” Emily reassured. “You’re a dad now. You have dad instincts.”

Daniel laughed. “Dad instincts, huh?” he joked, sounding at ease for the first time since they’d left the inn. “Is that like spidey sense?”

Emily nodded vigorously. “Only a thousand times better.”

As they fell silent and watched Chantelle and Serena at the cotton candy stall, Emily felt content and gloriously happy. Happier, even, than she’d ever thought possible.

Then Serena and Chantelle came bounding back, Chantelle’s face sticky with sugar.

“Try some, Emily!” she cried, showing the sparkly rainbow cotton candy to her.

Emily took a bite, feeling overwhelmed with joy that the little girl wanted to share with her. “Yum!” she said brightly, though she was struggling to hold back her joyful tears.

“Does Daddy want some?” Emily suggested. The last thing she wanted was for Daniel to feel left out, even though a mouthful of sparkly rainbow cotton candy was probably the last thing he’d ever want to consume.

Chantelle shyly held the cotton candy stick up to Daniel. Daniel pulled his mouth open, making it exaggeratedly large, then made a huge chomping noise as he took a pretend bite of the cotton candy, making loud munching noises. Chantelle dissolved into giggles. It was the first time Daniel had let loose, had behaved in a goofy manner with Chantelle. Emily caught Daniel’s eye and wiggled her eyebrows. He flashed her a triumphant smile of accomplishment.

As the parade started, the family stood on the sidewalk and watched the tractors pass. Everyone in Sunset Harbor was out for the day and Emily greeted many of her friends. She no longer felt awkward about appearing in public with Daniel and Chantelle. This was what she wanted and if people disapproved, then that didn’t matter to her.

But just as Emily was feeling her most confident yet, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned and a sensation like ice washed over her. Trevor Mann was standing there looking smug and toad-like.

He smoothed down his moustache. “I’m surprised to see you here, Emily,” he said.

Emily folded her arms and sighed, knowing instinctively that Trevor was going to try to bring her down. “And why’s that, Trevor?” she said, dryly. “Please tell me. I’m dying to know.”

Trevor smiled in his crooked, horrible way. “I just wanted to remind you that your extension on the back taxes is running out. You have until Thanksgiving to get them all paid up.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Emily replied coolly, but the reminder was less than welcome. Emily still had no idea how she was going to find the money to pay them off.

She watched Trevor turn on his heel and disappear, leaving Emily feeling cold and terrified.

Chantelle seemed to have taken an instant liking to Serena, so Emily invited her back to the house for dinner. Emily decided to make a massive meal of fajitas. She wanted Chantelle to feel secure and loved, stimulated with activities and nourished with sustenance. So while Serena and Chantelle played on the piano together in the living room, Daniel and Emily cooked up all kinds of different dishes in the kitchen.

“I don’t know if she’s even tried half this stuff,” Daniel said as he mixed up some homemade salsa. “Tomatoes. Avocados. It’s probably all new to her.”

“She didn’t eat well at home?” Emily asked. But she knew the answer. Of course not. Her mom couldn’t even keep a roof over the child’s head or buy her enough pairs of pants to last a week; the chances of her nourishing Chantelle were slim to none.

“It was a chips and Pop-tarts kind of house,” Daniel replied, his jaw stiff. “No routine. Just eat when you’re hungry.”

Emily could see how much pain he carried in the way his shoulders hunched, by the frantic way he smooshed the avocados into guacamole like there was no tomorrow.

Emily walked over and gently ran her hands down his arms, until the tension seemed to melt from his muscles.

“She’s got us now,” Emily soothed him. “She’ll be clean. She’ll be fed. She’ll be safe. Okay?”

Daniel nodded. “I just feel like we have so much time to make up for. Like, can we ever really erase what she went through when I wasn’t there for her?”

Emily’s heart dropped. Did Daniel really feel responsible for the years he couldn’t control? For all those months, weeks, and days he’d been unable to love and care for Chantelle?

“We can,” Emily told him firmly. “You can.”

Daniel sighed and Emily could tell he wasn’t completely buying it, that her words were going in one ear and out the other. It would take time before he felt okay about his absence at the beginning of Chantelle’s life. Emily just hoped his moping wouldn’t push the little girl away from him.

The food was ready so they all went into the dining room to eat. At the huge antique dark oak table, Chantelle looked tiny. Her elbows barely rested on the tabletop. The room hadn’t exactly been designed with children in mind.

“I’ll fetch her a cushion,” Serena said, laughing.

Just then, Emily noticed that Chantelle was crying.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” she said gently. “I know you’re low down but Serena will get a cushion and then you’ll be able to sit as tall as a princess.”

Chantelle shook her head. That wasn’t what had upset her, but she didn’t seem to be able to express in words what had.

“Is it the food?” Daniel worried. “Too spicy? Too much? You don’t have to eat it all. Or any of it. We can get takeout.” He turned to Emily, his words tumbling out with anguish. “Why didn’t we get takeout?”

Emily raised her eyebrows as if to tell him to cool it, to not add any unnecessary emotion to the situation. Then she drew back her chair, stood, went over to Chantelle, and knelt beside her.

“Chantelle, you can speak to us,” she said as gently as possible. “Me and your daddy. We’re here for you and we won’t be angry.”

Chantelle leaned into Emily and whispered. Her voice was so quiet as to be almost inaudible. But Emily just managed to make out the words she’d uttered, and as understanding seeped into Emily’s mind, a bolt of emotion struck her heart.

“She said they’re happy tears,” Emily relayed to Daniel.

She watched the breath of relief rush from Daniel’s chest, and the glitter of tears in his eyes.

Later that evening, it was time for Emily and Daniel to put Chantelle to bed.

“I want Emily to do it,” Chantelle requested, taking her hand.

Emily and Daniel exchanged a glance. Emily could tell by the way he shrugged that he was disappointed to be excluded.

“Say goodnight to Daddy then,” Emily prompted.