Stefan Golaszewski - Sex with a Stranger

ADAM. Oh no…

RUTH. Yeah. I mean it’s quite nice – for her – but—

ADAM. It’s so typical.

RUTH. Oh yeah.

ADAM. And fucking roses…

RUTH. Yeah. She’s always liked roses. Unfortunately. And she’s having this garland – she showed me the designs on the internet – like a garland for her hair with roses in it.

ADAM. What is it with roses?

RUTH. Yeah. I know! Weird. It’s pretty though. It’ll look pretty on her—

ADAM. But—

RUTH. – but – yes – stop with the roses, Chloe!

She laughs .

ADAM. What is wrong with her?!

RUTH. I know…

ADAM. All this fuss!

RUTH. I know…

ADAM. It’s just a wedding!

She laughs for him. A beat. As she finishes scrubbing—

RUTH. It’s okay though because we’re going to be wearing these lemon dresses – they’re a bit like my maxi dress – the one with the animals on it – but they’re lemon – and they won’t have any roses on them so I think it won’t be too bad at all really.

Silence. She sits next to him .

What time are you going out?

ADAM. I’m meeting them at seven.

She looks at her phone and puts it down again .

Blackout .

Empty stage .

ADAM ( offstage right ). What shall we have for lunch?

A beat . RUTH comes on from stage left and crosses the stage to stage right .

RUTH. Did you call me?

ADAM ( offstage ). What shall we have for lunch?

RUTH. Erm. I don’t know. We’ve got ham.

ADAM ( offstage ). Yeah.

RUTH. And there’s bread.

He doesn’t respond .

We could use some of my cheese slices and do toasted sandwiches.

ADAM ( offstage ). What about a salad?

RUTH. Yep.

ADAM ( offstage ). We could get lettuce and stuff.

RUTH. Shall we talk about it when you’re finished?

ADAM ( offstage ). Someone was saying if you avoid mixing carbs and proteins you lose weight quicker.

RUTH. Who was saying that?

ADAM ( offstage ). I dunno.

RUTH. You don’t need to lose weight.

No response .

Well it’s always good to be healthy.

No response .

I mean, I could probably do with shedding a few pounds myself.

No response .

My trousers were really tight this morning.

No response .

Yeah. Chloe goes to the gym at lunchtimes.

A beat as she waits for a reply .

Blackout .

They’re looking round a supermarket. She has a shopping basket with just salad cream in it. He holds a bag of chopped leaves .

RUTH. Or an iceberg?

ADAM. It’s Italian. And it’s already chopped. Save you chopping it.

RUTH. Yeah.

He puts it in their basket. They browse .

ADAM. What else d’you put in a salad?

RUTH. Avocado?

They browse. Silence .

Dressing?

ADAM ( negative ). Mm.

RUTH. Are you all right?

ADAM. Yeah. I’m fine.

RUTH. Is there anything I can do?

ADAM. No I’m fine.

They browse in silence .

RUTH. Oo. Yeah. I might get a can of Coke.

ADAM. It’s full of sugar.

RUTH. I don’t like Diet, do I.

ADAM. Coke Zero?

RUTH. Yeah.

She doesn’t get one. They browse in silence .

I saw a man the other day who looked like Robert.

Cucumber?

Blackout .

In the queue for the till .

RUTH ( whispering ). ‘Six items’ means six items. That’s so annoying though isn’t it. Look at her. It just holds everyone up. It’s really selfish though isn’t it?

ADAM. Yeah.

A beat .

RUTH. If it said ‘baskets only’ I’d understand. But look at her. It’s disgusting. What does she think she looks like?

ADAM. Mm.

A beat .

RUTH. It says ‘six items only’. I can’t believe she’s even being served. D’you know what I mean? I can’t believe they’re serving her. It’s ridiculous.

Silence. They queue .

ADAM. Maybe the peppers count as one.

Silence. They queue .

Blackout .

The streets. They’re walking with groceries. They both have a bag in each hand. On the first line , ADAM stops RUTH at a crossing from being run over. She smiles a thank you to him .

RUTH. I said what you said to say about Dan Fisher.

ADAM. Oh good.

RUTH. I said it in the group meeting while he was on reception – and I was cool and I didn’t get annoyed – I just said it like you said to say it.

ADAM. Good.

RUTH. Yeah. It was actually.

She goes to speak and a police siren approaches, passes, then departs. It’s too noisy to speak so they stand in silence, her looking to him and smiling. He smiles thinly back. When it’s passed, she speaks on. They remain stood still .

I mean I was talking to Soph about it at orchestra and she said I should’ve left it but—

ADAM. You had to do something about it.

RUTH. No. Thank you.

ADAM. He wouldn’t have done it if you’d been a man…

RUTH. Well…

They move across the road. She puts one of her bags into her other hand .

( Referring to his bag .) If you put that in that one, we can hold hands.

A beat. He does so .

Blackout .

RUTH and ADAM ’s living room. He’s sat on the sofa, texting. She’s offstage .

ADAM. Yeah. Definitely.

RUTH ( offstage ). Because if we put the speakers on the walls with the wall brackets, we can get some plants or something by the telly. Or another option I thought of – well Candice – Have I told you about Candice? She’s the nice new lady that cleans our ward. She was talking about it’s what her brother’s got and I thought it sounded like something we could do – and it’s just a thought so just say if you don’t like it – what I thought is if we could put the telly on the wall with the wall brackets and then that opens up all that space for us to do something else with it. Get a new set of bookshelves. Put some of my books up.

ADAM. Yeah.

RUTH ( offstage ). What d’you think?

ADAM. Yeah. Definitely.

A beat .

( Looking up from his text .) Could we put the salad leaves underneath? So it’s like a bed?

A beat .

Ruth.

RUTH ( offstage ). I’m doing it.

A beat .

But d’you think that’s a good idea? The wall brackets. I mean, it’s not like I’m trying to hog all the space for my books. But a bookshelf’s for life. It’s a good investment. The bookshelves in my parents’ house they got as a wedding present. And they still use them.

ADAM. No. I know. It’s a great idea.

She pokes her head in. He stops texting and looks up as if he wasn’t texting .

RUTH. Seriously. I’m not. I know we don’t need them so if you don’t like it it’s fine.

ADAM. No. It’s fine.

RUTH. I’ll pay for them myself.

ADAM. It’s fine.

RUTH. Cool. Who are you texting?

ADAM. I’m on the internet.

RUTH. Cool.

She smiles, lingers for a beat and leaves. He sends the text and puts his phone to the side .

( Offstage .) Because you can put your books there too if you like. It’s just nice having books around isn’t it? They’re nice to look at. And then we’ll have these bookshelves for ever. We can take them with us.

ADAM. Could we cut the ham into strips?

RUTH ( offstage ). Okay.

ADAM. Thanks.

RUTH comes onstage with scissors .