Jennifer Crusie - Faking It

“He loved it,” Nadine said. “People kept coming up and petting him and calling him ‘Steve Goodnight’ and telling him he was a good dog and the Dispatch took his picture. He was born to be a gallery dog, weren’t you, puppy?”

Steve looked up at her, patient as ever.

“And he didn’t bite anybody,” Nadine said. “He didn’t even try to hump Ariadne when Dorcas brought her down. They sat in that armchair together and looked so cute. Except when Ariadne would swat him. And even then he just sat there.”

“Good boy, Steve,” Gwen said, and Steve sighed.

“I’m going to take him out before I put him upstairs. Do you know where Aunt Tilda is?”

“She’s back,” Gwen said. “She must be in bed by now.”

The gallery door opened and Mason came back in, looking a little flustered. “Could I talk to you, Gwennie?”

“Of course,” Gwen said, and thought, Please let me get out of here soon .

Nadine rolled her eyes behind Mason’s back and took Steve out through the office.

Mason nodded at her. “She’s a good girl. She was a little pushy tonight, I thought.”

She made tonight , Gwen thought, and said, “She’s a Goodnight. They don’t hold back.”

“I had a wonderful time,” Mason said.

“Good,” Gwen said, trying to be nice. Mason was sweet.

“I’d like to have a lot more wonderful times,” Mason said, clumsily taking Gwen’s hand across the counter.

“Oh,” Gwen said.

“I love this place,” Mason said. “And tonight I knew this is where I belong. Let me take Tony’s place and take care of you.”

“Oh,” Gwen said again. “Well, I’m all right. I have family.”

“That’s not the same.” Mason leaned closer. “Let me into your life, Gwennie. You’ll never have to worry about money again, I swear.”

“Uh,” Gwen said, looking around. “Where’s Clea?”

“In the car,” Mason said. “That’s over, there really wasn’t ever much there. After her husband died, I took her out a couple of times just to be kind. I didn’t mean for it to-”

“Mason,” Gwen said, taking a step back. “You don’t have to tell me this.”

“Yes I do,” Mason said. “I want you to understand, it was just that somehow we ended up together.”

“Look, Mason,” Gwen said.

“But she’s not you,” Mason said. “In fact, I’m beginning to think she’s not even what I thought she was. I think she may have killed Cyril.”

“Really,” Gwen said, thinking Clea needed to do some PR fast.

“Look, I know Clea doesn’t make me look good,” Mason said. “I know I’m not Tony.”

Gwen sighed. “Actually, that’s not a drawback.”

He leaned closer and kissed her.

It was a perfectly good kiss, and she was so surprised, she kissed him back because she hadn’t done it in a while.

It was nice, and she thought, It’s been too long since I did this .

He leaned back and smiled at her, sweet as ever, and said, “I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks,” and she thought, He’s not Tony , but Tony had been a doughnut and look where that had gotten her, and Ford was a hit man -no more doughnuts, no more doughnuts- and she said, “Well, do it again,” and kissed him back.

Muffins , she thought. Better than passion. Really .

When he left reluctantly, promising to see her tomorrow, Nadine came back in. “That man kissed you,” she said.

“Yes, he did,” Gwen said. “He wants to help us run the gallery.” And some other things, too .

“No,” Nadine said, with great conviction, as Ethan came to stand in the office doorway.

“What?” Gwen said.

“No. We run the gallery. No outsiders. This is family.”

Gwen blinked at her, amazed by her fierceness. “You let Ethan help.”

“Ethan is family,” Nadine said, and Ethan looked as though he wasn’t quite sure what to do with that. “He’s like Davy.”

“Davy?” Gwen shook her head. “Honey, Davy’s leaving any day now.”

“Nope,” Nadine said. “He’s going to stay and marry Aunt Tilda, and they’re going to run the gallery until I get out of college. Then they’re going to retire and I’m going to run it. I’ve decided that’s my career.”

Gwen sat down on the edge of the desk. “Nadine, honey, sweetie, your aunt hates the gallery. And she loves her murals, which means she has to travel. And Davy is a doughnut. I don’t think they’re even, uh, dating anymore.”

“Adults can be so blind,” Nadine said.

“Adults can be?” Gwen said, looking at Ethan. “You’re a little nearsighted yourself.”

Ethan wheeled around and went back into the gallery.

“I see everything,” Nadine said.

“Ethan’s crazy about you,” Gwen said.

“I know,” Nadine said.

“Not in the brotherly, best-friend way,” Gwen said.

“I know,” Nadine said.

“ Well ?” Gwen said.

“I don’t know.” Nadine frowned. “It’s not like my heart goes kathump whenever he’s around. You know?”

Gwen thought of Mason. “I know.”

“And if I make the move to find out, and it turns out it isn’t there, then what am I going to do? He’s my best friend. I can’t lose him. And if I lie to him and try to fake it, he’ll know because he knows me better than anybody. We’ve been best friends for ten years.”

“Oh,” Gwen said. “Actually, that makes sense.”

“And you’re wrong about Tilda. Davy makes her laugh. I hadn’t heard her laugh for a long time, but he does it.”

“You’re right,” Gwen said. “But Nadine, a long-term relationship is not about laughing.”

“I bet it’s a good start,” Nadine said. “They don’t pretend with each other. They know each other.”

“They don’t have a clue about each other,” Gwen said. “Your aunt Tilda has a lot to hide, and Davy’s no choirboy.”

“I know what I know,” Nadine said. “And I don’t think you should kiss Mr. Phipps again.”

“Hey, even grandmothers get to date.” Gwen went back into the office, annoyed.

Nadine followed her. “It’s such a shame Mr. Ford turned out to be a hit man.”

“Nadine, you do not know that Mr. Ford is a hit man.” Gwen felt exhausted, her headache back in full force. “I’m going to bed,” she said, heading for the hall door.

“Maybe he only killed people who had it coming,” Nadine said, from behind her. “Like John Cusack in Grosse Pointe Blank . Maybe if he showed up at their doors, they deserved it.”

“Good night, Nadine,” Gwen said, and opened the door and sucked in her breath.

Ford was standing there, broad as the doorway. “Sorry. How’d the preview go?”

“Oops.” Nadine faded back into the gallery.

“Pretty good,” Gwen said, working on keeping her breathing even.

“It looked good from the street,” he said. “When I left. Through the window.”

“Oh.” Gwen nodded. “Thank you.”

“The whole place looks good,” Ford said.

“Thank you,” Gwen said again, still nodding like an idiot.

“Good night,” Ford said.

“Good night,” Gwen said. He went up the stairs, and Gwen thought, I’m going to pass out. Breathe, for heaven’s sake . She was such a fool. Mason kissed her and nothing happened, and Ford turned up behind a door and she hyperventilated.

“Do you think he heard me?” Nadine said, coming back in a little breathless herself.

“I think he hears everything,” Gwen said. “I’m going to bed now. If you change your mind about Ethan, don’t have sex on the office couch.”

“Yeah, and I won’t put beans up my nose, either,” Nadine said, annoyed now, too.