Jennifer Crusie - Faking It

“But I really would like to see your work,” Michael went on. “I rarely meet artists and never artists at work. May I?”

And while Davy watched with a sinking heart, Dorcas said, “Yes.”

“Don’t do it, Dorcas,” he said.

“Oh, please,” Dorcas said. “Like you’re a prize.” Then she stepped back and let Michael in.

“Jesus,” Davy said and went downstairs to warn the Goodnights about his father.

DAVY SPENT the rest of the week painting and hauling furniture and watching Michael with an eagle eye while Nadine and Ethan followed his every order. Gwen planned the details of the opening with skill if not pleasure, and made sure that the advertising was in place and that there would be a reporter to cover the preview. Simon worked on the security, still missing Louise, and on Tuesday, part of his wardrobe. “Your dad borrowed a shirt from me,” he said. “Evidently neither one of you knows how to pack.”

And Tilda came in after work on her mural and painted with Davy, saying, “You know, I never get enough of painting walls.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Davy said. “You worked all day.”

“It’s the least I can do for you,” Tilda said. “You’re working your butt off for us.”

“Actually, the least you could do for me,” Davy began, and then stopped when Tilda looked at him over her glasses. He did not want to hear about her damn vibrator again. “Never mind.”

Tilda nodded and went back to painting. “I can’t believe your dad moved in with Dorcas an hour after he got here.”

“Yes. I know. He is without morals.”

“But he’s efficient,” Tilda said. “It took you a good twenty-four hours to get into my bed.”

“Hey,” Davy said. “If I’d wanted in earlier-”

Tilda looked at him over the tops of her glasses again.

“Right,” he said and kept painting.

Eve and Jeff and Andrew ran errands and did odd jobs and generally oiled the wheels, while Ford pitched in whenever they needed a repair that required actual skill, especially if it meant sharing space with Gwen. Even Mason showed up to monitor the action, so happy about the opening that he cheered everybody else up, with the possible exception of Ford. They were a team, albeit a strange one.

Michael was another matter. When Davy caught him playing monte outside a local high school, he dragged him off, threatened him with death, and gave him a job of his own to do.

“Where’s Michael?” Tilda said when she got home from mural painting on Wednesday.

“Don’t go looking for trouble,” Davy said.

“I like him,” Tilda said. “I wouldn’t give him money, but I like him. What did you do with him?”

“Two birds with one stone,” Davy said. “I told him about Colby.”

“And?”

“And he took him for a quick five thousand this morning,” Davy said. “He’s dropping off half of it at Mrs. Brenner’s as we speak.”

“Five thousand dollars ?” Tilda said.

“The old man is good,” Davy said, trying not to feel proud.

“What is it he does again?” Tilda said.

“Sales,” Davy said.

“Right. You really think he’s going to give the money to Mrs. Brenner?”

“Half of it,” Davy said. “He’ll do it. He has a strong sense of justice. Just no morals.”

“How you managed to turn out so honest…” Tilda’s voice trailed off as she shook her head.

“It’s a miracle,” Davy said and went to work on the outside of the gallery before God struck him dead.

After that, since he had a stake, Michael stayed home with Dorcas and kept finding his way down to the gallery, and Davy kept an exasperated eye on him, as did Ford, every time Michael went near Gwen.

“That Ford is no fool,” Davy told Gwen on the day of the preview showing. “I like him, even if he is going to kill me.”

“Don’t joke,” Gwen said. “It’s too upsetting.”

“I was kidding. He’s not going to kill me,” Davy said, patting her shoulder.

“You don’t know that,” Gwen said.

“Sure I do,” Davy said. “If he was going to do it, he’d have done it by now.”

“Then why is he still here?” Gwen said, and Davy grinned at her. “Me? But he’s a hit man.”

“I’ve heard they’re a hot date,” Davy said. “You know, guys who are bent go the extra mile.”

“Speaking of which,” Gwen said, “your father borrowed a twenty from me.”

“Oh, hell,” Davy said, and reached for his wallet.

“And then he brought me back fifty,” Gwen said. “He said he’d been playing pool and it was my cut.”

“Oh,” Davy said. “He didn’t stick it in your T-shirt, did he?”

“Of course not,” Gwen said. “He’s a gentleman.”

“Right,” Davy said, and went back to the office to plan the next night’s heist.

Later that day, when Gwen had gone out to lunch with Mason, Davy saw Nadine out at the gallery counter, with three cards spread in front of her, laughing at Ethan.

“What the hell?” he said and went out. “What are you doing, young lady?”

“Your dad taught me this cool game,” Nadine said, flipping three cards down in front of him on the counter. “Here’s the queen-”

“Nadine,” Davy said, “I told you to stay away from my father. The only way to win at three-card monte is to cheat. That’s bad.”

“I wouldn’t play for money,” Nadine said, trying to sound shocked and half-succeeding.

No wonder Dad taught her to play , Davy thought. She’s a natural . “Forget it.”

“I love it,” Nadine said. “It’s a sure thing.”

“There are no sure things.”

“Oh, yeah?” Nadine said. “You can’t beat me.”

Davy took a five out of his pocket and slapped it on the table. “Where’s yours?”

Nadine held out her hand to Ethan, and he sighed and dug a five out of his pocket and handed it to her. “You’ll get it back, Ethan,” she said.

“No you won’t, Ethan,” Davy said. “Deal ‘em.” He watched her shuffle the cards, show him the queen, and then palm it while she moved the rest around. For only having practiced a couple of hours, she was damn good.

“Okay,” Nadine said, still moving cards. “Now, where’s the queen?”

“Right here,” Davy said, putting his finger on the middle card.

“Well, let’s look and see,” Nadine said, smug with her queen up her sleeve.

“Let’s,” Davy said, keeping his finger on the middle card. He turned over the eight of clubs to the right and the four of spades to the left. “Will you look at that? Neither one is the queen, so it must be the middle one.” He took the two fives on the table.

“That’s not fair,” Nadine said, looking outraged.

Davy took his hand off the card and grabbed her wrist. “Neither is this,” he said, sliding the queen out of her sleeve and flipping it at her. “Don’t let me catch you pulling this on anybody ever again.”

“Can I practice it on Ethan?” Nadine said.

“You’re screwing Ethan over enough,” Davy said. “You don’t need to take him at cards, too. Put the last coat of paint on the door instead.”

“I’m really tired of painting,” Nadine said dangerously.

“ ‘We keep you alive to serve this ship,’” Davy said to her. “ ‘Row well and live.’”

“ Ben Hur” Ethan said, evidently not too perturbed about being screwed over.

“Honestly,” Nadine said, and stuffed the cards in her pocket.

Davy went back into the office and found Tilda watching through the door. “Your niece has a real knack for crime.”

“And yet I feel certain that you also can play that game,” Tilda said.

“Can,” Davy said. “I don’t.”