Jennifer Crusie - The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes

‘That would be Lizzie,’ Xan said, and sipped her ice water.

‘You haven’t seen Lizzie lately,’ Mare said. ‘What I’m saying is, this isn’t going to work. You can’t divide and conquer. We don’t divide.’

Xan shrugged. ‘Well, at least you have Jude.’

‘Oh, Jesus, kick a girl when she’s down.’ Mare looked at her watch. ‘Damn it. Pauli-’

‘Gotcha,’ Pauline said, appearing with a Styrofoam container with her burger and fries and a lid for her Coke. ‘You got time to make it yet.’

‘What’s wrong with Jude?’ Xan said.

Mare capped her Coke cup. ‘Jude is not my type, and that’s being charitable.’

‘Who’s not your type?’ Pauline said.

‘The Value Video!! VP who’s in town,’ Mare said.

‘The one who looks like Jude Law.’ Pauline nodded.

‘How could he not be your type?’ Xan said. ‘Your entire generation is mad for Jude Law.’

‘Well, some of us felt he lost some luster over the nanny thing,’ Mare said.

‘And besides, there’s Crash,’ Pauline said as Mare put her sunglasses on and slid out of the booth.

‘Crash,’ Xan said dangerously.

‘Christopher Duncan, Mare’s old flame, he’s back in town,’ Pauline said, in her best news-at-eleven voice. ‘He proposed. She’s thinking about it. He wants her to go to Italy but she doesn’t know if she’s going. We’re still waiting for the update.’ She looked at Mare over the tops of her glasses. ‘The pool stands at even money.’

‘There is no update.’ Mare looked at Xan. ‘I’m going to get a tattoo now. You should go back to wherever you came from. We’re not interested.’

‘You lie,’ Xan said without rancor. ‘And you can’t speak for the others. Lizzie might be interested. Even Dee might be tempted by the chance to have a normal life.’

‘Maybe, but not if it means dealing with you,’ Mare said. ‘Enjoy your salad. Tip Pauline good. She’s the sole support of twelve orphan children.’

‘And a dog,’ Pauline said solemnly.

‘And a dog,’ Mare said. ‘Thanks for the speed with the Styrofoam, Pauline. Have a safe trip home, Xan.’

‘Wait,’ Xan said, and Mare paused. ‘This Crash. You think he’s the one you really love?’

‘I don’t know,’ Mare said.

‘Yes you do,’ Xan said and took a deep breath. ‘It’s in your voice. I don’t know how I missed him, but he’s the one. Isn’t he?’

‘Probably,’ Mare said. ‘It’s definitely not Jude.’

‘And you say he lives in Italy?’ Xan said, and she sounded sincerely interested. Sincerely puzzled but sincerely interested.

‘Tuscany.’ Mare settled into the booth again. ‘He came back because he was ready to settle down, not because of your spell, he didn’t have anything to do with you-’

‘That’s where the spell found Jude,’ Xan said, half to herself. ‘I thought it was odd.’

‘Jude’s not my type at all,’ Mare said. ‘Maybe the spell was slow and Crash had just ridden by. He rides those bikes at suicide speeds.’

Xan nodded. ‘That could be. Long distances like that are tricky for finding things. I must have cast that spell a dozen times because the result was so strange.’

‘Well, Jude’s a good-looking guy,’ Mare said charitably. ‘You couldn’t have known he was that much of a loser.’

Xan shook her head. ‘You know, magic. After a while, you start to think it can’t go wrong.’

‘I wouldn’t know,’ Mare said, taking her sunglasses off. ‘Mine goes wrong fairly often.’

‘You did get the short end of the stick, didn’t you, darling?’ Xan said sympathetically, reaching out again and twining her fingers with Mare’s. ‘But from the sound of things, you’re making up for it with your Crash. And if you’re sure he’s the one…’

She let her voice trail off, as if asking, and Mare nodded, feeling warm in the moment, connected to Xan somehow.

Xan nodded back. ‘Well, then, don’t screw it up. Follow your passion, Mare. Sacrifice anything for it. Your sisters, your power… real love is worth anything.’

Mare blinked. ‘Boy, for a minute there, you sounded like a real aunt.’

Xan smiled at her, holding on tightly, the warmth from her fingers spreading. ‘So you’re going to Italy. Tuscany?’

Mare nodded. ‘That’s where he lives. But I can’t go. I-’

‘Of course you can go.’ Xan sounded indignant. ‘My God, Mare, the man you love lives in one of the most beautiful places on earth, and you have nothing holding you here. Why can’t you go?’

‘Well, Dee and Lizzie…’ Mare stopped. She couldn’t go because they had to stay together because they were running from Xan who had just given her a cashmere hoodie and hadn’t taken her soul in return, who instead had taken her hand and made her feel warm and safe. ‘We need to stick together’

‘Why?’ Xan said. ‘Dee has Danny and Lizzie has Elric. It’s not really normal for sisters to stay together forever.’

‘Well…’ Mare looked around the diner and then leaned forward. ‘In case you’ve forgotten, we’re not normal sisters.’

‘You could be.’ Xan smiled. ‘You have choices, Mare. You’re not trapped.’

Mare blinked at her.

‘I know your powers haven’t made it easy for you, and it’s especially irritating since they’re not particularly good for anything, but you don’t have to keep them, you know. Any time you don’t want them, you can get rid of them. I’ll help you get rid of them. You can be as normal as the next person, all of you, go off with your true loves completely safe, have normal lives, normal children, truly live happily ever after. It’s possible, Mare.’

Mare sucked in her breath. Give up my power?

But there was Crash and the sunlight in Tuscany and even that laughing baby, if she gave up her power…

Xan patted their clasped hands and then let her go, and Mare felt a chill. ‘Just think about it, darling. Take your time. And take this, too. You look cold.’

She tossed the hoodie across the table, and Mare caught it, and said, ‘Thanks,’ fairly sure she shouldn’t keep it, but it was a cashmere hoodie and she was cold.

She got up and headed for the door, her thoughts racing, dizzy with them, and a woman at a table she passed said, ‘That looks like my old wedding dress. Did you get it at Goodwill?’ Mare said, ‘No, this was my sainted mother’s, God rest her soul,’ and slammed out the door, not looking back, shivering with cold now, wondering what Xan had up her sleeve, wondering if Xan was being tricky and pretending that she hadn’t sent Crash or if he really had come back just because he loved her, wondering what it would be like to be free of her power…

She was shuddering with cold now, feeling dizzy and sick in the heat of the day, chilled in the sun, not sure what had just happened.

Something’s wrong, she thought and put the hoodie on and headed for the tattoo parlor.

‘A butterfly,’ Mare said to Mother ten minutes later as she handed her the drawing, still shivering, and now really annoyed about everything. ‘And I don’t want to hear any crap about how it’s the most common tat for a girl. My name’s Mariposa and I want another butterfly.’ She felt like pouting, life was so unfair. Pouting and shivering and throwing up. ‘It’s cold in here.’

‘Feeling testy, are we?’ Mother said, straightening her white lab coat. She looked at Mare strangely, her cool gray eyes level under her neatly razor-cut gray hair, and Mare took a deep breath and relaxed a little. ‘That’s better’

‘Well, it was either a butterfly or the Statue of Liberty.’ Mare dropped her bag in the middle of the floor and stepped over it. ‘I think of her as a kindred spirit.’