Meg Cabot - Every Boy's Got One

Hmmm. Nice little explanation there. Neat. Tidy. Almost believable.

Cal: “But meeting you changed all that. You made me see that two people—like Mark and Holly—can fall deeply, madly in love, without any ulterior motives, and that that love isn’t just in their heads, a result of a chemical imbalance, but the result of attraction, mutual trust, and sheer, genuine affection. The love those two have for each other—the kind of love that would make them throw caution to the wind and get married in spite of almost everyone else in the world that they cared about being totally against the idea—that’s the kind of love I’ve always wanted, but never thought actually existed. Until yesterday.”

Hmmm. That’s pretty good, too.

Wait. What the hell is he talking about?

Me: “What happened yesterday?”

Cal: “Yesterday, I was stuck in a car with you for eight hours.” Bastard. I didn’t even sing along with the radio. Much.

Me: “Yeah. And?”

Cal: “Something happened.”

Me: “If you’re referring to my driving skills, may I just say I didn’t TOUCH that truck. What you felt was just the wind. We were going pretty fast. And there wasn’t even a scratch. I checked.”

Cal: “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about the fact that I fell in love with you. And I’m pretty sure you’re in love with me, too.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cal: “Can you stop writing in that book now?”

How can I stop? I mean, I can barely hold onto my pen, my fingers are shaking so badly….

This can’t be true. This has to be some kind of elaborate boy scheme to… I don’t know what.

Me: “Okay, I understand that guys like you will stop at NOTHING to make a sexual conquest. I mean, telling a girl what you think she wants to hear… that’s par for the course. But it’s never a good move to presume you know what she feels for you. Because I can assure you, I am NOT in love with you.”

Cal: “I’m not presuming. I know exactly what you think about me. You think I’m an anal-retentive Armrest Nazi… an arrogant Modelizer. You can’t stand the way I talk, any of the subjects I choose to talk about, the imperious manner I order food in restaurants or tell cab drivers how much we owe them. You find my taste in women odious, the fact that I don’t own a television an unforgivable sin, and the fact that I would choose to write a book about Saudi Arabia completely unfathomable. And you’re also totally and completely in love with me. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have pushed me into the pool earlier today when you saw Grazi walk in.”

Me: Speechless.

Cal: “Now will you put that book down and kiss me?”

Me: “No, I will NOT. What are you—how did you—did HOLLY tell you all that?”

Cal: “No. I read that book you’re writing in.”

WHAT?

Cal: “Could you write a little bigger? I’m not sure China saw that. Yes, I read your diary. It does say, on the first page, that you intend to give it to Holly and Mark as a wedding present. I didn’t think it would be any big deal for me to read something you obviously meant for them to read. It wasn’t until I was much too deeply engrossed in it to put it down that I realized you’d changed your plans.”

Me: “Ngh.”

Cal: “Well put. Yes, I know all your darkest secrets, Jane Harris. How much you pine for Dr. Kovac, who is, I’d like to point out, a fictional character. Your mistaken impression of the size of a certain part of my anatomy. What, exactly, you think about my book—not that your facial expression whenever I bring it up doesn’t say it all. I know you’ve got a soft spot for humpbacked dwarves, stray cats, and your friend Holly, and I know you want to go to Veselka’s with me and eat blintzes. I don’t know what Veselka’s is, but I’m a big fan of blintzes. I’ve never enjoyed myself more than I have the past forty-eight hours, during which I’ve been trapped in a car with one of the worst drivers I have ever seen, run up the Spanish Steps and then down again so I could be on time to wait in line to perjure myself at the American consulate. And I’d like to continue doing those sorts of things with you on a regular basis for the foreseeable future. Although I would also like to include sex with you, if possible. And if none of that convinces you, perhaps this will: I have every intention of sticking around long enough to form an intense, unbreakable, long-term bond with The Dude. And to prove it, this afternoon, I went and got this.”

Oh, my God. He’s rolling up his sleeve. Why is he rolling up his sleeve? What could he possibly—

NO!

IMPOSSIBLE!

It’s a tattoo!!! He’s got a tattoo. Of Wondercat! Just like the one on my ankle.

Me: “But—How? Where?”

Cal: “Crazy Bar and Sexy Tattoo Shop in town. They say Wondercat’s one of their best sellers.”

Me: “But–but–but that’s PERMANENT!!!!”

Cal: “So is how I feel about you. Now. Could you put the pen down and kiss me, please?”

And suddenly, I find that I can.

Because my heart has become filled with something. Something I can’t really describe.

Except that it feels like bianco frizzante.

Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine

Jane Harris

Oh my God. He lied. It’s totally true, what Mark told Holly about Cal’s—

Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine

Jane Harris

Poor Frau Schumacher. She’s going to have a LOT of sheets to wash when we leave. I think we’ve done it in every bedroom at least once.

Oh well. I suppose she’s used to hard work, considering all the time she put in over at the Fuhrer’s place.

Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine

Jane Harris

Even Cal admits that Nutella on strawberries, washed down with champagne, makes a lovely midnight snack.

Travel Diary of Holly Caputo and Mark Levine

Jane Harris

Must write fast, as he’s downstairs, getting more strawberries.

He loves me! At least as much as I—I can’t believe I’m admitting this—love him. YES! It’s true! I love him! I could shout it from the rooftop: I LOVE HIM!

And I don’t think that’s the phenylethylanamine talking, either.

Endorphins? Definitely.

Oh, my God. I love Cal Langdon. CAL LANGDON.

And you know, really, the only reason he doesn’t like ER is that he’s never seen it. It turns out they don’t have ER in Libya or wherever it is he’s been all these years. I’m sure he’ll come around as soon as he’s caught up with everything that’s happening at County.

I showed him my Wondercat sketch book, too, and he laughed at my most recent cartoon. Cal Langdon LAUGHED. At one of my cartoons!!!! And called me a comic genius!

Which I already knew. But it was nice to hear it from him.

Oops, here he comes. I promised I’d stop writing about him in here.

For now.

___________________________________________

To: Arthur Pendergast

Fr: Cal Langdon

Re: The Book

Hey, Arthur. I was thinking. How would you feel if my second book was on Le Marche? In case you don’t know, Le Marche is one of Italy’s lesser-known regions, filled with breathtaking vistas of ancient castles atop rolling picturesque hillsides, shady olive groves, curved white beaches, delicious seafood, and earthy but delicate wines like the Verdicchio, considered among the finest of thevini da meditazione.

This is a region in which family-run businesses thrive. It’s a nearly self-sufficient area that many countries—for instance, those formerly dependent on the exportation of oil—might do well to emulate.