Jennifer Crusie: Charlie All Night

Someday , Allie told herself, I’ll look back on this and laugh.

But not yet.

Allie sat numbly while Mark beamed at all of them. “Isn’t this terrific. Can we join you?” He pulled out a chair for Lisa without waiting for an answer, and Lisa sat, giving Allie a cautious look under her lashes.

She had beautiful lashes. Actually, Lisa had beautiful everything. No wonder Mark had wanted her instead. And there was no point in hating younger, more attractive women just because they existed. You had to wait until they did something to you to hate them. And Lisa hadn’t fired her, Mark had.

Allie gave up and smiled at her. “Hi, Lisa. Congratulations on your promotion.”

Lisa leaned forward, caution gone, her words tumbling out in her happiness. “It’s so exciting, Allie. I can’t thank you enough. Mark told me it was your decision-”

Allie’s eyebrows almost hit the ceiling. “Oh?”

Lisa stopped. “It wasn’t?”

Allie looked at Mark as if he were fish bait. “I’m really looking forward to working with Charlie,” she lied. “Have you met Charlie yet, Lisa? Charlie Tenniel, Lisa Mitchell.”

Charlie smiled at her and took her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Lisa smiled back, using her lashes on Charlie this time. “Welcome to the station. You’re going to love working with Allie. She’s-”

“So.” Mark broke into the conversation loudly, and Lisa jerked her hand back. “Where are you staying, Charlie?”

Charlie leaned back a little. “I just got into town today.”

Mark narrowed his eyes at Allie. “You haven’t found him a place to live? That’s not like you. You organize everybody.”

What’s your problem? Allie thought. Jealousy?Good. He’s staying with us,” she said, and Joe choked on his drink.

“What’s wrong with you?” Mark asked him.

“Nothing.” Joe smiled blandly. “Nothing.”

Mark frowned again at Allie. “You’ve only got two bedrooms.”

“Yes, I know.” It wouldn’t hurt Mark to think she was sleeping with Charlie. She looked at Charlie over the top of her glasses. Actually, it wouldn’t hurt her to think she was sleeping with Charlie. Bulky, friendly Charlie in shirtsleeves nade a nice contrast to trim, tense Mark in a suit. In fact, the more she saw Mark next to Charlie, the less she missed having him around. Sleeping with Charlie might be the logical cure for her lingering case of Mark. Sort of like using penicillin to wipe out a bad bug that wouldn’t go away.

The analogy was certainly apt anyway.

Allie’s logic kicked into gear, analyzing the situation, a relief after the panic of the afternoon. She wasn’t infatuated with Charlie the way she’d been with Mark. With Charlie, she could have an intelligent, well-planned one-night stand. Then her last sexual memory would be Charlie, not Mark, and she could get on with her life. The more she thought about it, the better she liked it. As long as Charlie didn’t get hung up on her, it would be perfect. And even in her short acquaintance with him, it was fairly evident that commitment was not his byword.

Mark looked from Charlie to Allie to Joe, evidently reading Allie’s mind. “So who is he sleeping with?”

“Me.” Allie held up her hand like a polite child, her plan now in place. “Joe gets him tomorrow.”

“Very funny,” Mark said.

“Not so funny for me,” Joe said. “I have to wait twenty-four hours.”

“I don’t think that’s funny,” Mark said.

“Neither does Joe,” Charlie said, and Allie laughed, delighted he was part of them.

Lisa had been following the exchange, frowning as her head bobbed back and forth. “I don’t get it.”

“It’s just a joke, Lisa.” Mark put his arm around her. “Not a very funny one.”

Charlie shook his head. “You have no sense of humor, Mark. That’s why your relationship with Allie didn’t work, remember?”

Mark decided to take offense, something, Allie reflected, that any sane man would have taken much sooner. “I don’t know what Allie is doing with someone like you,” Mark told Charlie. “You’re not her type. Of course, I don’t know what she’s doing with him , either.” He jerked his head at Joe.

Allie did not take insults to any of her friends well, but especially not to Joe. “ Look… ”

“I’m great in the kitchen,” Joe said. “She loves my cooking.”

“And I’m great in the bedroom,” Charlie said. “She loves my body. Between the two of us, Allie has it all.”

Allie glared at them both. “Actually-”

Mark snorted. “Allie doesn’t like sex.”

Allie swung on Mark. “Well, actually -”

Charlie smiled at Mark and interrupted her. “No, she just didn’t like it with you.”

“She didn’t like your linguini, either,” Joe pointed out. “She said it was rubbery.”

Charlie frowned at Joe. “That’s funny. She said the same thing about his-”

“Oh, great ,” Allie said.

“Don’t be childish.” Mark stood up, almost knocking over the waitress who’d come with their salads. “Obviously, we’ve intruded, and you don’t want us. Come on, Lisa.”

They watched him stalk across the room, Lisa trailing behind, throwing them curious looks over her shoulder.

“Feel free to discuss my sex life at any time in public,” Allie told the two of them when the waitress had gone. “Don’t mind me.”

“We won’t,” Charlie said around a mouthful of salad.

“I almost feel sorry for Lisa,” Joe said.

Allie picked up her fork and stabbed at her lettuce, shoving thoughts of sleeping with Charlie out of her mind to consider Lisa. She ate for a couple of minutes, looking at the situation from all sides. “I guess I do feel sorry for her,” she said finally. “This isn’t her fault.”

“She ended up with your boyfriend and your job,” Joe reminded her. “She has some responsibility there.”

“Nope.” Allie’s voice grew firmer as she grew surer. “This is Mark. Mark wanted me out and her in. And he got it. I just don’t know why.”

Joe shook his head at her. “It’s obvious. Mark’s jealous of you.”

“That makes no sense.” Allie waved her fork at him to end he discussion.

“Yeah, it does.” Joe pointed his own fork at her. “Everybody at the station knows that Mark’s success is because of you. He likes to think it’s because of him.”

Charlie stabbed another chunk of lettuce. “So, if he shoves Allie out and puts Lisa the newbie in, everyone will know that his success is-”

“His success,” Joe finished. “Except that’s not going to happen.”

“Why not?” Charlie shoved his empty salad bowl aside and eached for another bread stick.

“You eat like you’re starving,” Allie told him, amazed at the speed with which he’d destroyed his salad. “Don’t they feed you back home?”

“You should talk.” He pointed to her own half-empty bowl. “I’ve seen locusts move through vegetation slower.” He turned back to Joe. “Why not?”

Joe scooped up a forkful of his salad. “Because the only reason Mark is a success is because Allie plans out every second of his show. She even has his ad-libs on cue cards. You have to see it to believe it.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow at Allie. “How do you manage that?”

Allie shrugged. “There are only a dozen or so expressions that are really useful, anyway. I just pick the card that worked best. And he isn’t that bad. In almost two years, he’s never misread a cue card. Could we talk about something else?”

“Oh, that’s talent, reading cue cards,” Charlie agreed. “You were with him for two years?”