Jilly Cooper - Octavia

‘Oil me then,’ I said softly, turning over on my front and handing him a bottle of Ambre Solaire.

He put a dollop on his hands and began to rub it into my back.

I squirmed voluptuously. ‘Oh, how blissful. I wish I had a tame slave to do it all the time. Put lots on the tops of my thighs,’ I went on mercilessly. I heard him catch his breath.

When I had made him spin it out as long as possible, I added, ‘And could you possibly undo my bikini strap. I don’t want a white line across my back.’

His hands shook so much he had the greatest difficulty with the clasp.

‘Thank you,’ I said when he had finished, turning my head and looking at him. He was breathing very fast, and his eyes were almost opaque with lust.

The afternoon was perfect now. The water was plumed with alders and willows, and in the distance two or three pink farm houses dozed among the apple trees. The white spire of a village church appeared behind a hill and a plane sailed silver across the sky.

‘How remote everything seems,’ I said. ‘I can’t believe that this time next week I shall be in Marbella.’

Jeremy sat up on his elbow, chewing a piece of grass.

‘You will?’

‘And Sardinia the week after, and then I think I shall probably take off for Bermuda for the summer.’

‘Bermuda? Whatever for?’

I was taunting him now.

‘Oh, because a guy with whom I’m just good friends is mad for me to join him out there. He was even generous enough to send me my air ticket.’

‘Doesn’t it worry you at all? Living off men all the time?’

‘Who said I’m living off men? I give as good as I get. Anyway it’s only normal if one’s father rejects one early in life, to go round looking for other daddies, preferably sugar daddies and playing them up until they’re forced to reject you too.’

‘Don’t you ever want to settle down with one man?’

‘Not any more,’ I paused, making my voice quiver slightly. ‘Not since Tod was killed earlier this year.’

‘Gussie told me about that. I’m terribly sorry.’

A yellow butterfly shimmered over us. ‘That’s me,’ I said, pointing to it. ‘Always on the loose.’

‘So you’re really committed to the fleshpots,’ said Jeremy bitterly. ‘Drifting from one rich playboy to another. Dropping your knickers so you don’t have to drop your standard of living.’

‘That sounds exactly like Gareth,’ I said through my teeth. ‘It’s neither funny nor true.’

‘Maybe not. Now you can have as many minks and gold bracelets as you like, but what happens when your looks go and you can’t get men any more? Do you know how women like you end up, unless they’re very careful? They start making concessions in order to escape from their loneliness, then more and more concessions until they turn into a raddled old harridan that everyone laughs at.’

‘Why do you tell me these things?’ I hissed at him.

‘It’s only natural,’ he said in a low voice, ‘that I should try and run down all the things I could never afford to give you.’

‘Gareth could give them to me,’ I said.

‘What happened between you two last night?’ he said sharply.

‘Oh, you know Gareth’s reputation, and you think mine is totally beyond redemption, I’m surprised you ask.’

‘What happened?’ he said, seizing my wrist.

‘Stop it, you’re hurting me!’

‘Did you or did you not sleep with Gareth?’

‘No I didn’t, but it’s no thanks to you,’ I stormed. ‘Ignoring me when we arrived last night, avoiding my eyes whenever I looked at you. If anything was calculated to throw me into Gareth’s arms that was.’

Jeremy put his face in his hands.

‘I know, I know. Christ I’m in such a muddle. A month today I’m getting married, and I feel as though I’m going into hospital for a major operation.’

‘Well, that’s your problem, isn’t it?’ I said, fastening my bikini strap and getting to my feet. ‘I’m going to get a drink of water.’

I found Gussie in the kitchen eating biscuits and talking up at Gareth who was steering.

‘Gussie and I were just saying how much we were looking forward to sampling some of your famous cooking,’ said Gareth maliciously.

‘There’s a chicken in the fridge,’ said Gussie. ‘I wish you’d do that marvellous thing you did when Jeremy and I came to dinner.’

‘It’s a very complicated recipe,’ I said quickly, ‘and needs lots of special things I’m sure we haven’t got.’

‘We can get them,’ said Gussie. ‘Gareth and I have got a yen for Pimm’s tonight, so we thought we’d stop off at the village shop at the next lock. We’ll buy everything you need at the same time.’

I hope my dismay didn’t show on my face. While Gareth and Gussie were shopping, I had a good wash to get off all the sun-tan oil and sweat. I was just wandering into the kitchen to get another glass of water when I felt something furry run across my feet. I gave a scream. Jeremy came racing down the passage.

‘What’s the matter?’

‘Look,’ I screamed. A huge spider ran across the floor and disappeared under the sink.

‘It’s only a spider,’ he said. ‘It won’t hurt you.’

‘They terrify me,’ I sobbed. He took a step towards me and then the next moment I was in his arms. As his lips touched mine, we both began to tremble. The warmth, the dizziness, the taste of that kiss lasted a long, long time. Then he buried his face in my hair.

‘Oh my God, Octavia, you’re driving me mad. What am I going to do?’

‘Nothing for the moment, except go on kissing me,’ I whispered, taking his face in my hands.

The crimson sun was sinking, the pink water darkening as we tied up for the night alongside a bank of meadowsweet. The air throbbed with the formless chattering of birds, and all along the bank water rats and owls began to come out on night duty. I managed to postpone cooking by saying the chicken would take too long to make.

I put on a pale grey semi-transparent mini-dress. I didn’t need the cracked looking glass to tell me how marvellous I looked. Gussie was looking hideous in white. She was scarlet from the sun.

‘She looks like a great red lobster,’ I thought with a giggle. ‘All she needs is a dollop of mayonnaise.’

Gareth handed me a Pimm’s. It was afloat with apple, cucumber and oranges.

‘Is this dinner as well?’ I asked coolly.

‘It’s utterly divine,’ said Gussie. ‘Try it.’

I took a sip and smirked at Gareth. ‘It tastes exactly like cough mixture,’ I said.

Jeremy, sitting at the table shelling broad beans, looked fantastic. His skin was tanned to the colour of dry sherry; he was wearing a white shirt. I surreptitiously lowered the zip of my dress a few inches, then caught Gareth looking at me and pretended I was fanning myself because of the heat.

‘Jeremy darling,’ cooed Gussie fondly, ‘you’re putting all the pods in the pan and the beans in the muckbucket. You are abstracted today.’

‘His mind’s on other things,’ said Gareth.

‘Like this bloody review I’ve got to write for the Statesman, ’ said Jeremy. ‘I’ve got to file copy on Tuesday. I simply can’t get beyond the first chapter.’

‘Well say so, then,’ said Gareth.

‘I can’t,’ said Jeremy. ‘It was written by the editor’s wife.’

‘That’s a gorgeous dress,’ said Gussie, looking at me enviously. ‘I’d love something really sexy like that.’

‘You’ve got Jeremy,’ I said, smiling at him.

‘Yes, and don’t let any of us forget it,’ said Gareth.

‘Broad beans are disappointing,’ grumbled Gussie, raking her thumb nail down the furry inside of the last pod. ‘They always look as though they’re going to produce far more than they do.’