Jilly Cooper - Imogen

‘Particularly as someone ripped it right off you at that party,’ said James and roared with laughter, stopping suddenly when he realised no one else was.

‘D’you mean to tell me you spent 4,500 francs on one dress?’ said Matt slowly.

‘I had to have something new. You couldn’t turn up in any old rag to that party. Everyone noticed it. That’s the way one gets work.’

‘Not that kind of work. How the hell d’you think we’re going to pay for the rest of the holiday?’

‘You’ll have to win it back at the Casino. You can always cable the paper. You must have made twice that on your precious Braganzi story already.’

They paused, rigid with animosity, as the waiter cleared away the debris, leaving only clean glasses and ashtrays.

‘Anyway,’ Cable went on, ‘since you decided to buy her’ — she glared at Imogen — ‘an entire new wardrobe, I thought it was my turn to have a few new clothes. Don’t you agree, Nicky?’

Nicky showed his teeth non-committally. He wasn’t going to be drawn in.

‘Children, children,’ cried Yvonne, dimples flashing, highly delighted by the turn of events, ‘please don’t spoil my party. I’ve got something to tell you all. This is a very special night for Jumbo and me.’

‘So you’ve already told us,’ snarled Cable. She turned to Matt. ‘I don’t know why you’ve got so fucking tight with bread recently.’

‘Skip it,’ said Matt, ‘we’ll discuss it later.’ His face was expressionless but his hand trembled with rage as he folded up the bill and put it in his pocket.

‘That’s right, kiss and make up,’ said Yvonne.

There’s going to be one hell of a row later, thought Imogen, as the waiter arrived with an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne.

‘What’s that for?’ said Nicky, as the waiter removed the cork and filled up everyone’s glasses.

‘Because I want to celebrate my first and last film part for a long time.’

‘Your last?’ asked Imogen.

‘When I went to the doctor about my foot the other day, he was able to confirm that I’m expecting a baby.’ Yvonne, her head on one side, looked even more like the Virgin Mary than ever.

There was a long pause. Imogen caught Nicky’s eye and for a terrible moment thought she was going to laugh. She could see Matt still gaining control of himself with an effort. Then his natural good nature conquered his fury with Cable.

‘That’s great news. Congratulations to you both.’ He raised his glass in the air. ‘To Baby Edgworth.’

‘Baby Edgworth,’ said Nicky and Imogen dutifully.

‘I must say I’m jolly excited,’ said James, leaning across and giving Yvonne a great splashy kiss, which she immediately wiped away with her napkin.

Cable said nothing. She was drumming her fingers on the table. Then she got to her feet.

‘I’m going to the loo.’

‘Aren’t you going to congratulate me?’ said Yvonne.

‘The prospect that there might be another replica of you in the world shortly is too horrible to contemplate,’ said Cable and turned on her heel.

There was another long pause.

‘How horrid of her,’ said Yvonne in a choked voice, then added more brightly, ‘Of course she’s only jealous. As I told her this morning, she’s twenty-six now, her days as a model are numbered. She really ought to think about settling down soon. I know you don’t like talking about marriage, Matt, but I’m sure if she had a tiny baby of her own, she’d be a different person.’

‘Even worse I should think,’ said Nicky, filling up everyone’s glasses. ‘I can’t see Cable changing nappies.’

‘Oh, she could always use the nappy service, or disposable nappies, don’t you agree, Matt?’

‘When’s it due?’ asked Imogen hastily.

‘May the 10th,’ said Yvonne. ‘I’m awfully glad it’ll be a little Taurean, rather than Gemini, so much more placid. Cable’s Gemini, isn’t she, Matt?’

She knows exactly to the day, thought Imogen. She and James can’t sleep together very much.

Yvonne was still rabbiting on about the baby when Cable came back. Imogen could catch an asphyxiating waft of her scent from across the table. She’d drawn even darker lines round her eyes. She looked like a witch. For a moment she stood glaring at them until Nicky and James rose dutifully to their feet. Matt remained seated, his eyes cold, his mouth shut in a hard line.

Cable slipped into her seat.

‘Where are we going next?’ she said. ‘Let’s drive over to Antoine de la Tour’s place.’

‘We’re not going anywhere,’ snapped Matt. ‘We can’t afford it.’

‘Oh, don’t be bloody stingy.’

‘When I planned this holiday I didn’t bank on you spending 4,500 francs on a lot of feathers.’

‘I’m going to bed too,’ said Yvonne. ‘With Baby on the way, I don’t want any late nights.’

‘I want to go to Verdi’s Requiem.’

‘Well, you can’t.’

‘Why don’t we compromise?’ said Nicky reasonably. ‘Let’s go to the fair and win some cheap plonk at the shooting range, and have a party back in our rooms.’

Only Yvonne wanted to go to bed. It would have been like missing the last act of a thriller. After they’d been to the fair, they all congregated in Nicky’s room.

James, who proved a surprisingly good shot, had won a large teddy bear, a china Alsatian and two goldfish, who were swimming around in the bidet.

Imogen sat on the floor, too stunned by the hostilities at dinner to say anything. Nicky was filling tooth-mugs. Matt lounged on the bed blowing smoke rings.

Cable, who was extremely drunk by now, was pacing up and down, determined to keep everyone’s attention. She tossed back one mug of wine, and was about to pour another one, when Matt got up and took away the bottle.

‘You’ve had enough,’ he said quietly.

‘I have not!’ she snapped back.

She rushed over to Nicky and flung her arms round his neck.

‘I’m as sober as a judge, aren’t I, darling?’

Nicky grinned and pulled her on to his knee.

‘I don’t care what you are,’ he said, ‘but I like you.’

‘There you are,’ Cable said triumphantly. ‘Nicky says I’m lovely. I’m glad someone appreciates me.’

‘Cable, baby,’ said Matt, ‘at this moment the whole neighbourhood is appreciating you, particularly the people in the next door room. Keep your voice down.’

Cable slipped off Nicky’s knee and went over to the dressing table and picked up the transistor.

‘Let’s have some music,’ she said, turning it up full blast. ‘Imogen did a strip-tease last night. Now it’s my turn. I’m going to do the Dance of the Seven Veils.’

She kicked off her shoes and started to sway to the music.

‘There’s one veil gone.’

‘Atta girl,’ said Nicky.

‘What’s the next veil?’ said James.

‘My watch,’ said Cable, taking it off without stopping dancing.

A muscle was going in Matt’s cheek.

‘Cable,’ he said in a voice of ice, ‘turn that transistor down.’

‘Why should I?’ she said. ‘I’m sick of being ordered about. Veil number three coming up.’ She started undoing the buttons of her blue shirt.

James’s eyes were out on stalks.

Matt got to his feet, went over to the transistor and turned it off.

Cable seized his wrist. ‘Why are you such a wet blanket?’

‘Go to bed and stop making a fool of yourself.’

‘All right,’ said Cable defiantly. ‘I’ll find some decent music somewhere else.’

She opened the window and put a foot out.

‘Oh, don’t Cable,’ cried Imogen. ‘It’s terribly dangerous.’

‘I’m going,’ said Cable, starting to climb down the wall.

‘You mustn’t let her,’ said Imogen, running to the window and catching Cable’s hand.