Нора Робертс - The Last Boyfriend

“Oh, Avery, it’s so cute. So sweet.”

“It was, it is. Gum-ball-machine ring. He was just playing along with me, but it put me on top of the world. He does that kind of thing. The sweet thing.”

“You kept it, all this time.”

“Of course. My first engagement ring.” To amuse them both, she slipped it on, wiggled her fingers. But oddly seeing it there made her feel a little sad. “And now something’s off between us,” she continued as she pulled it off again. “I think he must want to take a step back and—”

She broke off when she heard the door open, and mimed zipping her lips as she tucked the ring back in her purse.

While D.A. lay on the kitchen floor, obviously exhausted, she helped arrange tables, lamps, pillows. When duty called Hope back to the inn, Avery unpacked towels, set out soaps, moving from master to kids’ bath, to guest bath, to half bath, to lower-level bath.

It was full dark when she came upstairs again, and stopped to grin at the great room. Homey, she thought, comfortable, and pretty.

She heard the sound of hammering, moved through to the playroom. Owen, tool belt slung at his hips, hung a framed X-Men poster.

“You put the cubbies together.”

He glanced back at her. “Ryder did it before he took off.”

“He’s gone?”

“We’re about done. Mom said to tell you she and Rosie will be back tomorrow, after a grocery store trip for fresh produce.”

“Great. I guess you’re right. I can’t think of much else to do. I wasn’t sure we’d make it, and we’re a full day ahead.”

“We had a lot of hands.”

“And you and Hope with your checklists. This is a great room. Fun. happy. The house feels that way, too.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Do you want a good-job beer?”

“I wouldn’t mind it.”

She went out, opened two. They were so freaking polite, she thought. So matter-of-fact. So damn weird.

Enough, she decided as she set them on the kitchen counter. She waited until he’d unstrapped his tool belt. “Are you mad at me?”

“No.” He gave her a steady look out of quiet blue eyes. “Why would I be?”

“I don’t know. But we—you—something hasn’t seemed all the way right since the wedding.”

He considered her as he took a pull on the beer. “Maybe you’re right.”

“If this isn’t working for you, I wish—”

“Why do you go there? Why do you automatically go to it not working, it not lasting, it not sticking?”

“I don’t mean it like that. I—” When he waved that away, walked to the far window, she set her jaw. “You are mad at me.”

“I’m getting there.” He took another pull on the beer, then crossed back to set it on the counter. And looked her dead in the eye. “How would you feel if I said it wasn’t working for me? No bullshit, Avery, straight truth. How would you feel if I said I was done with it?”

The jaw she’d set wanted to tremble. And everything inside her trembled with it. “You’d break my heart. Is that what you need to hear? You need to know you could do that?”

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes, let out a breath. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I needed to hear, and what I needed to know.”

“Why would you want to hurt me that way? You’re not a hard person. You’re not cold. Why would you hurt me that way? If you want to step back, you could do it without being cruel.”

“Stop it.” A world of patience sounded in his voice. “I’m not stepping back. I don’t want to step back . That’s just it. But you don’t believe in me, in yourself. In us.”

“I do. Why would you think I didn’t?” Even as the words came out of her mouth, she knew. “I say stupid things sometimes. I think stupid things sometimes. You should know me well enough to get that.”

“I do know you, Avery. I know you’re loyal and generous, you’re tough and ambitious.”

Since Beckett’s wedding, Owen had looked for the answer, worked the problem. He thought he had it.

“Avery, you question yourself too much, you worry too much you’re something and someone you’re not. Because you’re nothing like her. Nothing, and you never have been. It pisses me off you don’t see that.”

“I’m working on it.”

“Okay.” He started to pick up his beer again, stopped. “No, it’s not okay. We’ll end up just circling around and getting nowhere. It’s not okay because I’m in love with you.”

“Oh my God.”

“I probably always have been. It’s taken a long time for it to sink in, so I figured you needed time to do the same. But it’s enough now. Do you see this place?”

“Yes. Owen—”

“It’s not just a damn house—a damn good house. It’s a place to build, to come back to, to depend on.” Everything he felt for her filled him. Everything he wanted surrounded him.

The hell with working it out, thinking it through.

“I’ve got a damn good house, too. You should be in it with me. Build in it with me, and come back to it with me, depend on it—and on me.”

“You want me to move in with you?”

He’d been working on it, he thought, and this wasn’t the direction he’d planned on. Screw it, he decided. All or nothing.

“I want you to marry me.”

“Oh, Jesus.” After a couple hitching breaths, she looked down. “I can’t feel my feet.”

“Trust you to have the most frustrating reaction.”

“I’m sorry. Just give me a minute.”

“No. Damn it. No. It’s not about spine. It’s about love and faith, and hope, I guess. I watched my brother marry Clare, and I knew I wanted that. I’ve always wanted it, but I thought, sure, eventually. Eventually I’d settle in, settle down, make a family. It’s eventually, Avery, because the other thing I know is eventually never came until you. It’s always been you. My first girlfriend.”

“I need to sit down a minute.”

She did, right on the floor. She clutched the key around her neck. Locks, she thought, had to be opened. And he was wrong; it did take spine. But she was no wimp.

“What would you feel if I said no, I didn’t want any of that?”

He crouched down, looked her dead in the eye again. “You’d break my heart.”

“I’d never do that.”

“You’ll marry me to spare my feelings?”

“I love you enough to do just that. You make my heart flutter, Owen. You always did. I got used to it—and maybe getting used to it I didn’t value it enough. When we started to be with each other, it was more than a flutter. Something more, and I didn’t know what to do with it. No one else ever made me feel the way you did—do. I thought something was missing in me because I couldn’t feel enough. But the only thing missing was none of them were you.”

He sat down across from her. “Now nothing’s missing, for either of us. Say yes.”

“Just wait. What I feel . . .” It lit inside her, all at once. “God, it’s like the stone heart. Was she trying to show me? It’s so strong, so solid, so enduring. I never thought you’d feel it for me, so I just couldn’t open that place and let it come out. And it does take spine.” She dashed a tear away. “I just had to find mine.”

He took her hand. “I’m in love with you, Avery. Say yes.”

“I’ll probably suck at marriage.”

“That’ll be my problem, won’t it?”

She looked at his face, so familiar, so precious to her. No, she thought, nothing was missing for either of them. “I need my purse.”

“Now?”

“I really do.”

“Jesus, break the moment much?” Griping, he pushed up, grabbed it off the counter, dropped it in her lap.

And stared when she pulled out the pink plastic ring.