Lucy Gordon - For The Sake Of His Child

While Joey got into the shower she returned to his room to fetch the towelling robe she’d seen hanging behind his door. On the way back, she stopped and looked over the banisters. She could just see where Dan and Carson were sitting together, talking. At least, Dan was talking. All she could see of Carson was his back, but something in the set of his shoulders told her that he was finding Dan’s monologue hard going.

Joey turned off the shower and came out straight into the bathrobe she was holding up for him.

‘An-ooo!’ he said painfully. Thank you.

She put him to bed, and asked him, signing, if he wanted to read. He shook his head and lay looking up at her from his pillow, smiling. He seemed relaxed and happy, quite different from the tense, nervous child of the afternoon. Impulsively Gina leaned down and kissed him.

‘Is he ready to go to sleep?’ Carson asked from the door.

‘Just waiting for you to come and say goodnight,’ Gina told him.

She stood back so that father and son could hug each other, but Carson only said awkwardly, ‘Goodnight, son.’

Joey struggled to say goodnight, and managed the word pretty well, but Gina could feel Carson’s tension.

‘Goodnight, Joey,’ she said.

She was about to turn away, but Joey detained her with a hand on her arm. She sat on his bed and watched as he pointed at himself, then curled over the middle three fingers of his hand so that the thumb and the little finger made a Y shape. With this he made a gentle waving motion, then finished by pointing at her. A shy smile touched his lips.

‘What did he say?’ Carson asked.

‘He says he likes me.’ Smiling, Gina indicated herself, made the Y gesture, then pointed at Joey.

I like you.

Suddenly she was gasping for breath as a pair of young arms tightened around her neck in an embrace that was both eager and desperate. She hugged him back, but it was some time before she could make him release her.

She felt torn in two. She wanted to stay and do everything she could for Joey. But she also wanted to flee this house that reminded her of so much pain.

At last he let go, and lay down quietly, but his shining eyes followed her until she closed the door.

‘Thank you,’ Carson said. ‘That meant the world to him. When will you come back?’

‘Is it really a good idea for me to come back?’

‘I don’t understand. You lecture me about Joey’s needs, but you can help him better than I can.’

‘But I’m not his father-or his mother. It’s you that’s got to get onto his wavelength. Put him first and take your cue from that.’

‘All right,’ he said after a moment.

Downstairs, Dan looked as though he’d like to settle in for a long talk, but Carson adroitly prevented this, apologising for keeping her so late. Reluctantly Dan rose to go.

‘Goodnight, Miss Tennison,’ Carson said formally. ‘I’ll think over what you’ve said.’

In the car Dan was euphoric. ‘If I can sell our spark plugs to Page Engineering it’ll be a feather in my cap. I thought I’d never get to meet him.’

‘I’m sorry if I let you down, but how could I refuse when that little boy-’

‘I told him all about our plugs and he seemed really interested. He wants me to call at his office, and take him the full details, and I just knew-it’s a feeling you get when you know you’re going down really well, and the customer is hanging on every word.’

‘I’m very glad for you, Dan.’

‘Well, I owe part of it to you,’ he said generously. ‘Well done, darling. You know, that’s one of the best things about you. You’re always so reliable.’

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘It’s nice to know.’

It was a compliment, of a sort. But then she found herself recalling Carson saying, ‘Little brown mouse? With that blazing auburn hair?’

But he hadn’t meant to compliment her at all.

She refused Dan’s offer of a drink. She felt suddenly very tired after the emotions of the day. He dropped her at her flat and drove away, his head full of spark plugs and deals to be done.

Before going to bed that night Gina looked at herself in the mirror. Slowly she pulled her hair about her face and studied it for a long time. At last she drew a long breath of pure disbelieving pleasure.

It was blazing auburn.

And she had never noticed before.

‘T HEposition is really a little difficult,’ George Wainright said. ‘It’s a pity Philip has taken agin you.’

They were sitting in George’s office next morning. As Gina had feared, he’d already received an account of yesterday’s incident, embellished with Philip’s dislike.

‘Luckily, Mr Page has written a letter praising you in glowing terms,’ George went on. ‘It was hand-delivered first thing this morning, and it will certainly help. But we can’t have you losing your temper with the customers.’

George Wainright was an elderly man who looked like everyone’s favourite grandad, but Gina wasn’t fooled. He was tough, and right now his manner was implacable.

‘Anyway, let’s leave it there for the moment,’ he said. ‘Go on doing an excellent job, and it’ll soon die down.’

As the day wore on Gina began to hope that everything really would be all right. Meeting Joey had shaken her up, but with time, and calm, she would get herself in hand.

Then, halfway through the afternoon, she received a call from the receptionist to say she had a visitor. And something in her tone told Gina who the visitor was.

With a sinking heart she went out to the front desk. There was Joey, looking anxious but determined.

She whisked him into her office, and closed the door on prying eyes. Speaking and signing together, she asked, ‘What are you doing here?’

He answered with his fingers. I wanted to see you.

‘Did anybody come with you?’

No. I just wanted you.

‘Has something happened?’

Instead of answering directly he shrugged and looked at the floor. Gina’s alarm grew. Something had upset the boy, but this wasn’t the time to badger him with questions. She called Page Engineering.

A barrage of assistants and secretaries barred her access to Carson Page, until she said firmly, ‘Tell him it’s Miss Tennison, about his son,’ and this worked like magic.

Carson’s voice came as a shock. She had forgotten that it was so deep and attractive.

‘Mr Page, I have Joey here. He found his way to my office alone and he’s upset about something.’

‘Alone? Where’s Mrs Saunders?’

‘Wait, I’ll ask him.’

She spelled out the name carefully, and Joey made a sign that surprised her so much that she made him repeat it.

‘Carson, he says she’s gone away.’

‘And left him alone in the house?’

More signing. ‘He says yes.’

Carson swore.

‘Can you come and collect him?’ she asked. ‘He’s upset and he needs to be reassured.’

‘I’m in an urgent meeting. Besides, I’m not the one he wants. It’s you he came to, not me.’

‘But you’re his father. Put him first, for heaven’s sake.’

‘Give me five minutes; I’ll call you back,’ he said brusquely.

As she hung up she saw Joey looking at her. He knew she’d been speaking to his father, and it was there in his face that he also knew what the answer was. His expression wasn’t sad. Rather, it asked her what else she had expected, and it was a terrible look for a child to wear.

She gave him something to eat and they chatted. Gina gathered that Mrs Saunders had gone out late that morning, saying she would return ‘soon’, but after three hours there was no sign of her.