Janet Evanovich: The Rocky Road to Romance

“Today. My adviser is supposed to call today.”

“It’s just a dissertation,” he told her. “It’s not worth getting sick over. If the committee doesn’t accept it, the world will continue turning.”

She collapsed onto a kitchen chair. “I want it to be over.”

“You aren’t the only one. I’m lonely. I’m tired of sleeping with Bob. The only time I see you is when you have to stop here on the way to work to get sick.”

“The nerves get to me first thing in the morning. And then I get carsick when I first start out.”

He looked at the engagement ring on her finger and wondered how much longer she’d continue to wear it. “You finished your dissertation weeks ago, but you’re still avoiding me. Why?”

She slumped forward and rested her head on her arms. “Because I’m a mess. Look at me! I’m sick! I can’t even handle the pressure of a doctoral dissertation. It hasn’t been just five days that I’ve been sick. I’ve been sick for two weeks. I burst into tears for no reason at all. I’m always tired. I’m a psychologist. I know the signs. I’m nuts.”

“Is that the clinical term? Nuts?”

“It’s not funny. I thought everything would fall into place once my dissertation was done, but my life is a shambles.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Because I hate being an emotional cripple; I hate you knowing I’m an emotional cripple, and I hate the idea of starting out a marriage as a mental case. I don’t know why you’re even attracted to me. Ever since we’ve known each other I’ve whined about my personal problems.”

“You’ve never whined. You might have babbled once or twice, but you’ve never whined.”

She pushed away from the table. “I’m feeling a little better,” she said. “I think I’ll be okay now.”

He supported her with his arm and walked her to the door. “Why don’t you take the day off?”

She shook her head. “It’s Friday. I’ll have the weekend, and then there’s only one week left until Menken returns.”

“How’s the new book coming along?”

“It’s not coming along at all. I can’t seem to find the energy to work on it. Maybe when this traffic job is done.”

“And the nursing home?”

A tear slid down her cheek. “I can’t bear to go to the nursing home anymore. Mrs. Nielson isn’t making any progress. She’s just slipping away. Mr. Bender has pneumonia.”

He cuddled her tight against his chest and wished he could help her. He stroked the hair back from her face and kissed her forehead. “I can’t make death and sickness go away, but I can be here at the end of the day when you need someone to talk to. It seems to me there’s a lot of latitude in geriatric counseling. Maybe you need a job that deals with the problems of younger seniors… people like Elsie.”

That brought a weak smile to her lips. “There’s not another person on the face of this earth like Elsie. What’s going to happen to her job when Menken returns?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” He kissed her again and held her at arm’s length. “Why don’t you come over after work, and I’ll throw some hamburgers on the old barbecue grill?”

“Last time you tried to cook hamburgers you set your chef’s apron on fire.”

“I think I’ve got the hang of it now.”

She loved him more than life itself, she thought. And deep down inside she wanted to believe things would work out. The natural optimist in her wanted to think she was suffering from extended PMS, or low blood sugar, or not enough fiber-and the proper diet would fix everything. A physical reason for her nervous stomach was much more acceptable to her than admitting she was an emotional basket case. “I’ve made a doctor’s appointment for after work today. He’s going to do some blood tests. Maybe I just need vitamins.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“No,” she said dully. “I need to do this myself. I’ll stop by on my way home. It should be around seven. Please don’t start up the grill until I get here. I hate to think of you going up in flames and no one around to hose you down.”

Steve began pacing in his living room at eight. By nine o’clock he’d called the state police and three hospitals. Daisy wasn’t in her town house, she wasn’t with Elsie, and she definitely wasn’t with him. He sank into a club chair and absentmindedly fondled Bob’s head. Daisy had been so despondent when she’d left in the morning. He should have driven her in to work and insisted on going to the doctor with her, he thought. The damn woman was too independent for her own good. She was sick, and she needed help-his help. That’s what love and marriage were all about. Marriage wasn’t just the good times and the sexy nights; it was making chicken soup for your wife when she had a cold and sharing a box of Kleenex when Mrs. Nielson wasn’t making any progress.

Last month Daisy had been the picture of health. She was a woman in love, and she was ready to get married. Something had happened in the interim to change all that. One day she’d been laughing with him over a pizza, then the next morning she’d burst into tears when he’d told her Bob was going to have puppies. He looked down at the dog. It had never occurred to him to check the plumbing under all that shaggy fur.

“I made a mess of it,” he said to Bob. “Somewhere along the line we had a severe breakdown in communication. She just pulled away from me.”

He heard a car door slam, and he was on his feet. He had the door open before Daisy reached the porch. “Where have you been? It’s after nine. Are you okay?”

Her eyes were wide and filled with tears. “I don’t have PMS or low blood sugar or irregularity.”

He gripped her shoulders hard, not sure if he was supporting her or himself. “What is it?”

The tears spilled out and streaked down her face. “I’m… pregnant.” She sobbed. “We’re going to have a baby!”

He was speechless. Air refused to leave his lungs. Little black dots floated in front of his eyes. There was a loud roaring in his head. “Baby?” he said. Then he crashed to the floor in a dead faint.

He was soaking wet when he came around.

He blinked his eyes and sputtered. “I’m sorry, Mom,” he said. “I promise not to swim out so far next time.”

“I’m not your mom,” Daisy said. “I’m Daisy.”

“Oh yeah. Why am I all wet?”

“You fainted, and I poured water on you. That’s what they do in the movies.”

“Are we really going to have a baby?”

“Yup. That’s why I’ve been sick and tired and weepy. My hormones haven’t got their act together yet.”

“But you were crying over it. You were sobbing. ”

“Because I was so happy. Pregnant women cry a lot.” She sat beside him and pulled a grocery sack onto her lap. “Look, I stopped at the store and got some sparkling cider so we can celebrate. And wait’ll you see what else I bought!” She removed a little jar and held it in the palm of her hand. “Baby applesauce,” she said, bursting into tears again. “Isn’t it the cutest little jar you’ve ever seen?”

He pulled her onto his lap and wiped the tears away with his thumb. A baby! He’d been excited about having puppies, and now he was going to have a baby, too! “You’re going to marry me, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Of course.”

“Not just because of the baby?”

“Because I love you.” She opened the applesauce and tasted it on the tip of her finger. Then she fed some to Steve for practice. “And I think I’m going to take a job at the nursing home. I might not stay there for the rest of my life, but I’m going to try it for a while. I’d lost perspective on life as part of a continuum. There’s nothing wrong with aging. It’s natural and inevitable… like the birth of a baby.”