Jennifer Greene: Millionaire M.D.

“But I take it that you found out that she lied?”

Winona nodded. “Yes. The midwife took the baby for the first couple of months. The midwife was caught in the middle of the story, wanting to help Alicia, but not knowing what to do. The problem was that Herb was physically abusive. He didn’t stop knocking Alicia around during the pregnancy, which made her afraid that he’d hurt the baby as well. In fact, she was positive he’d hurt the baby. So she asked the midwife to put Angel on my doorstep.”

“God.” His voice communicated a wealth of emotion. The fingertips brushing back her hair communicated even more. Her pulse bucked. With love and hope. But there were still things she needed to say.

“Alicia was just one of the leads I was tracking down. But when I caught up with her this afternoon, it all came out. It’s not going to be simple, Justin, as far as Angel’s future.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s afraid Herb will kill her if he finds out the baby is alive. She doesn’t want the child. At all. It’s going to be all she can do for a long time to get herself a divorce, get out of that relationship and start a life over again. But if Herb finds out the child is alive, she’s also afraid that he’ll demand custody-and because he’s the blood father, she’s afraid that he could both get it and force Alicia to live with him again-either that or risk him hurting the child.”

“What a mess,” Justin said quietly.

“Yeah. And that’s the point-that it can’t be solved legally, at least not for a while. If Alicia gets what she wants, she’s going to give the child up for adoption, specifically to me. Or to us.” She met his eyes. “But the real point is-there’s no reason for you to marry me, just to enable me to foster or adopt Angel. We know the child’s situation now. It’s going to take a while to fight this out in the courts. But no marriage is going to help or hurt my keeping Angel. The real legal problems are between Alicia and her husband.”

“Win, I wasn’t marrying you for Angel’s sake.”

“I didn’t think you were, either. But you sure ducked out when it came down to setting a marriage date-as if you really weren’t that serious. You hurt me, Doc.”

The lines in his face all tensed with anxiety. “That was never what I wanted to happen. Never. And I always wanted to marry you, Win, for years. From the first time I saw you, and you were twelve and kicking every boy in the shins who dared to say ‘hi’ to you. God. You were so stubborn. So mean. So full of courage-”

“Quit complimenting me, you turkey, and tell me why you hurt me.”

“I didn’t want to. I didn’t mean to.”

“Justin-that isn’t good enough.”

Silence fell between them, raw and tense. He looked away, then down, then straight into her eyes. “It was about suddenly realizing…that maybe I wasn’t the man you thought I was.”

She laid her hand on top of his, her left hand, so he could see the engagement ring shining softly in the shadows. And then she clipped their fingers together, tight, so he had something to hold on to.

“I lost so many patients in Bosnia. In trauma medicine, you lose patients sometimes. That’s how it is. Always. A fight, a war, against death. Emergency rooms are messy, imperfect places, where sometimes you only have a split second to make a life-or-death decision. It’s impossible. But…Win, I swear that I believed I was good at it.”

She clutched his hand tighter.

“But there was no medicine over there. Sometimes no electricity. No light, no water, no facilities, no drugs. You’d get patients that should have been saved. Men who never had to die. Children in terrible pain. And there was nothing I could do. Nothing.”

If she could have bled for him, she would have. For so long, she’d known there was a reason for that wounded loneliness in his eyes. The emotion that didn’t show. The way he fooled people about the kind of man he was. And she’d known he had secrets, because everyone did. But she didn’t know it’d break her heart to hear his pain.

“I thought I was a stronger man. But I came home from Bosnia and I got the shakes at the idea of seeing another patient die. So I switched medical fields. I see pain, but it’s almost always something I can do something about. And no one’s died on me. I thought the change was a good choice, but on the inside, it’s just been sitting in here-” he thumbed his chest “-that I let myself down. Let others down. I wasn’t the man I wanted to be. The man I thought I once was.”

“Damn you, Doc.” So much for holding hands. She reached for him. “You’re so stupid. And I love you so much.” She framed his face, tight, so that she could smack a kiss on him. A hard, mean, possessive kiss, not a sweet one. Yet somehow so much love poured into that kiss that she felt tears bunching in her eyes like salty thunder clouds. “You’re ten times any ordinary man, you cretin. Did you think you could do everything?”

“No. But…I just didn’t realize how much the whole thing had weighed on my conscience. Until we started talking marriage, and we made love, and every dream I had about you and me was finally coming together. And then it just came to me, that I hadn’t faced it…being a coward.”

“That’s how much you know. Now write it down somewhere so you get it straight. I wouldn’t love a coward. Not like I love you. Heart and soul. Sinker and clinker.”

She could see in his eyes, in the way he kissed her back, that it was going to be all right. But he still seemed to need to get more out. “I just wasn’t sure…if you knew me. You didn’t know I’d had that failure. And I was afraid that maybe I was fooling you. And me. That I couldn’t promise you I was the man you needed me to be.”

“You saved our baby tonight, Doc. Where’s the failure? You were afraid. But you still stepped up. You’re the best doctor I know. But way, way more than that…you’re the best man.” Again she kissed him, but this time softly. Tenderly. Wanting to show him her heart stripped bare. “I love you, Justin.”

“Aw, Win. I love you back. So much. That’s why I had such a hard time getting past this. Because I wanted the right to love you for a lifetime.”

“We’ve been through a trial by fire, haven’t we? But from now on…your fears are my fears. Your worries, my worries.”

“And your love…my love,” he said fiercely, and took her in his arms, offering a kiss flavored with all the love and promises they brought each other.

When Winona heard the telephone ring, she was surrounded by open suitcases. How one short honeymoon could create so many dirty clothes was beyond her-particularly when most of the garments were itsy-bitsy baby-size. Now, though, she vaulted from the laundry room toward the telephone in the kitchen, delighted to abandon the chore. As she reached for the phone, she heard the muffled sounds of splashing and giggling. Justin was giving Angel a bath-and someone was laughing uproariously. It wasn’t the baby.

Winona couldn’t help chuckling as she pressed the phone to her ear. To her surprise, the caller was Pamela Miles.

“How nice of you to call,” Winona said warmly.

“You’re probably really busy if you’re just back from your wedding trip, and I hate to bother you. I just couldn’t stop wondering how everything was going. If you found Angel’s mother and what happened-or what’s going to happen-to the baby? If things had settled down?”

“The whole world’s going great. And we’ve just been back for a few hours-the baby couldn’t have loved the honeymoon more. In fact, I actually planned to call you tonight, so I’m extra glad you called.”