Jennifer Greene - Millionaire M.D.

The others exuberantly agreed, but Ben was still frowning at him. “Something was on your mind. You were really staring at the sign. Did something occur to you?”

“Yeah, it did.”

Justin couldn’t explain. Not to anyone. But this strange epiphany thing had happened when he’d taken one last look at the precious emerald and opal. Suddenly his heart had started beating like a drum, hollow, anxious, the thud-thud-thud of dread. The missing gem was the reason. The red diamond, for all of them, had always been the true talisman symbol of the group’s cause. Not because it was the most precious and priceless, but because it represented the leadership and honor that a good man really stood for.

And the drumming in his heart kept thundering like a hollow echo. Memories of Bosnia knifed through his mind. He’d had such a heroic goal when he’d volunteered to go there. He’d wanted to help. To save people. And at the time, he’d been egotistical enough to believe that he was an ideal person to do that-that he was one of the best docs in trauma medicine anywhere.

Only he’d flown into a nightmare. Patient after patient had been suffering severe wounds from bombs and guns and shrapnel. But the conditions were petrifying. Sometimes there were no drugs. Sometimes there was no heat, no electricity-hell, sometimes not even running water. He had the skill; he had the heart, but he had no way to save them. And patient after patient died, until Justin had started to feel a breaking sensation on the inside. Maybe it wasn’t his failures that caused the deaths, but it was still failure. It was still unlivable. And when he’d come home, he’d aimed straight for plastic surgery and away from any medicine where patients died.

It made sense to him then.

It made sense to him for a long time.

It had made sense to him until he’d asked Winona to marry him. All these years, he’d prayed that Winona could love him, but now that she’d admitted to those feelings…aw hell, Justin knew exactly why his heart felt hollow. Because it was. Part of him was missing, no different than that damned red diamond was missing. He was afraid of failing her. Afraid of not being the strong, honorable man that she seemed to think he was-the strong, honorable man that Justin was no longer positive he was, either.

Ben’s fingers closed on his shoulder. “Something is wrong. Do you want to sit down somewhere? Find a place to talk?”

Matthew picked up on Ben’s concern. “Justin, hell, you looked like you’d been driving yourself ragged when you first walked in. What’s wrong? Tell us. What can we do?”

“Nothing,” he started to say. He wasn’t sure if he felt more relieved-or more worried-that he’d finally figured out why setting the marriage date had been throwing him for six. At least he was finally getting his mind wrapped more clearly around the problem.

Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that he had a clue what to do about it.

Startling all of them, a telephone suddenly rang. The Club, of course, was closed. A call this late was likely nothing more than a telemarketer or a wrong number. But Justin took the excuse to hike for the phone, relieved to get away from his friends’ searching attention, no matter how well-meaning their concern.

The closest receiver was in the Club office. He reached the phone just as it rang for a fourth time.

“Justin? Oh, thank God I got you. I didn’t know where to track you down…” He heard Winona’s voice, sounding not at all like her. Win kept her cool in a thousand crises, and always for others. Yet her tone was shrill with panic and fear. “I need you. Right now. Oh God, oh God. Angel isn’t breathing right. Something’s terribly wrong. I’m afraid to take her to the hospital, afraid to do anything that could make it worse, I-”

No matter how messed up he was, this was easy. Justin didn’t have to think. Winona needed him. That was cut-and-dried. “I’ll be there in five minutes flat. I promise.”

Winona had been afraid before, but never like this. Late that afternoon, she’d discovered who Angel’s mother was. At the time, she’d thought that nothing could possibly be more important or traumatic than that-but she’d been wrong.

Right now she was carrying the baby and pacing because she was too terrified to do anything else. She’d been busy, coming home from work, getting some dinner on and the baby down for the night, but everything had been basically fine-until Angel suddenly woke, making petrifying choking sounds.

She was afraid to put the baby down. Afraid to keep carrying her. Afraid anything that she did might be wrong-and yeah, of course, as a cop she’d had first aid. Intensive, extensive first aid, for that matter. But what the spit good was that? There was nothing in any manual about the emotional stakes being so screechy high and unbearable when it was your baby who was suffering and you were terrified of doing the wrong thing and risking hurting her worse.

Winona heard the front door open. “Justin? Back here! Hurry!”

She wanted to brace before seeing him. She knew it would hurt. Winona had no idea what was in that damn man’s head, but two days ago she’d finally added up two and two. For days, he’d been pushing her to marry him. First, making out like a marriage of convenience would enable her to foster Angel. Then, making out like he wanted a real marriage. Then, not just making out-but showing her-that he loved her in every way a man could love a woman.

But when it came down to setting a date, he’d ducked one too many times now.

She’d thought they’d had something. And no, she’d never bought into that marriage of convenience malarkey. Since when in the history of men and women was a marriage ever convenient? The concept was an oxymoron if ever there was one. But then she’d started to see how much Justin cared. How much he’d hidden. How he’d be as a dad, how he was as a lover, how much love poured out of him when the door was finally opened up.

Only the blasted man had made her fall in love with him. Practically forced her into falling hopelessly, helplessly, deeply in love. And then to stall out when it came to setting a date?

Man, it bit. In fact, it hurt so much that she’d prowled the floors for two nights in a row. Right now, though, she had no time for hurt or anger. There was only one thing on her mind-the baby.

She sensed his shadow in the nursery doorway, even before he’d said anything. She heard him yanking off his jacket, hurtling it aside. She didn’t look at him, because she was too sick-scared, soul-scared, to take her eyes off Angel for even a second, but she started talking. Fast. “She’s been half choking like this for almost twenty minutes now. Maybe I should have taken her right to the hospital, but I didn’t understand what was happening-I also didn’t want to take her out in the cold or do anything to make her worse. But I can see-anyone can see-something’s wrong. She’s not breathing right-”

“Keep talking. Just keep telling me everything that’s been happening to her.”

“I put her down for the night about forty-five minutes ago. All day she was fine. Completely fine. And she dropped off to sleep right away, only it was like she swallowed something somehow, because suddenly I heard her coughing. I ran in from the kitchen. It seemed like she was choking. I grabbed her, picked her up, started thumping her back, thinking that I could help her get something up-”

“And did you see anything come up?” Justin’s voice was calm, quiet, fast.

“No. But it had to. Because she wasn’t choking so bad after that. Still, it’s like now. You can see how she’s struggling to breathe. Her coloring is almost blue-”