C. Brown - Fraternizing

“You better get over there and see what he wants.”

He pulled back, wiping my tears away. He kissed me, then turned and walked out of the room, leaving me in a conflicted and convoluted mess. I was thrilled that Alex was devoted to me and willing to put everything on the line, but I was also depressed that having everything with me meant having so little with the Corps. I lay back in my bed and turned on the TV to try and drown out the damaging thoughts. There was no way that Alex would escape this meeting unscathed, and I only hoped that our love was enough to overcome the outcome of it all.

Alex

The drive over to First Sergeant’s office was short and quick. I didn’t give myself much time to think about whatever it was that he was going to say. When I got out of my truck, I was ambushed by one troubling thought that hadn’t factored into my thought process since all of this had unraveled—Cassie. I knew that the gauntlet would be brought down on me, but I didn’t know how far they would push it with her, and the only sickness I could feel since all of this started was where she would be when all of the dust settled.

I walked up to his office, confidently striding through the corridors, almost eager to know what he wanted to do about all of this. There was no way I’d be coming away unmarked, and I was ready for it, but I was also ready to lessen the blow for the girl that meant more than anything to me. I knocked on the door, then turned the knob and walked in, coming face to face with a steely eyed, First Sergeant O’Hara.

“Come on in, Sergeant Cruz,” he greeted, his voice low and clipped.

I walked in, standing at attention as he stood and walked around his desk, standing in front of me.

“At ease, Sergeant. Take a seat.”

I sat down in the chair situated directly in front of his desk. He took his seat, pulling out a notepad and skimming over some notes before looking up to me. The ice from his cold, hard stare began circling the room, knocking my hardened demeanor and concerted effort to remain unfazed by all of this off of the high horse I had placed them on.

“I’m very sorry to have this happen within your class. Private Allen is currently in the hospital, on twenty-four hour watch, and as soon as he is better and discharged, he will be transferred to the brig awaiting court martial and subsequent discharge. You have my word on that.”

“Thank you, First Sergeant.”

“As for Pfc. Bennett, her orders have already been cancelled, and she will be reassigned here. We will need her for the investigation into the sexual harassment as well as the assault.”

His eyes lowered as the walls came closing in, encasing us in the small bubble that held trapped, stale air. He was calculating whatever he wanted to say next, and my breathing picked up, anxiously awaiting the venom that was sure to come spewing from his mouth.

“As far as the investigation into the circumstances of last night, some new revelations have come to light, and I am here to put you on fucking notice.” His mouth curled, almost like a disgusted sneer. “I knew there was something up when I saw Pfc. Bennett by your office door a couple of days ago, but I didn’t follow through. Shame on me.”

His jaw hitched, clenching his teeth his teeth in the process. “So I am going to ask you one fucking time, and one fucking time only. Is there anything you want to go ahead and tell me before I blow this shit out of the water?”

I sat stoic, trying to remain calm and level headed. There was no way I wanted to sit here and admit to First Sergeant that I had committed the ultimate sin as an instructor, but the longer he stared at me…into me… into my soul, I felt compelled to give him what he wanted.

A flash of clarity swept through me, putting Cassie back in the forefront and remembering that unleashing all of my indiscretions would put her on the chopping block, and her well-being meant more to me than my own. So rather than allow him to force a confession out of me, I stuck to my original game plan, even though he was making me sweat with whatever it was he already knew.

He stared at me, his face growing more rigid by the second and fixing into a tight scowl. He finally made a move, wiping his mouth before speaking again.

“You want to play hard ass, Cruz? Go right ahead, but after digging, and speaking to those around you both, your fucking secret is out in the open, and I am going to drag your ass down as far as I can take you.”

His voice went lower, mixed with a deadly concoction of disgust and malice. “You’re a motherfucking predator, using your position of authority to prey on students. I’m going to make a fucking example out of you, and when I’m done you’ll wish you had exercised a little more restraint with your extra-curricular activities.”

He sat red-faced, glaring at me.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode. As badly as I wanted to play it off, I knew what the aftermath would be, and as much as I had prepared myself for it, I hadn’t prepared myself enough. Sweat began coating my brow, my hands, my entire body. My breathing labored, crushing my chest as I tried to hold it in. He was looking for a moment of weakness and, even though it was oozing through me, I wasn’t about to give it to him.

My ego had taken a beaten while my nerves were being severed by the sharp tongue lashing insults at me. A predator I was not, but how was I going to plead my case with him? I wasn’t sure exactly what he had on me, but from where I was standing, he had enough. Now, I just had to keep calm and make him do the excess legwork to actually prove all of it.

I prayed he wouldn’t be able to do it.

I hadn’t heard him say anything about punishing Cassie, so I sat still, giving nothing away in expression, further pissing him off.

“You’ve got nothing to fucking say for yourself, Devil Dog?”

My silence had sent him tumbling over the edge. He was shouting, and the veins bulging out of his neck looked like they would burst and spew anger all over me. He slammed both of his hands down on the desk, leaning over and bringing his face inches from mine.

“You were our goddamned NCO of the Quarter, our most highly respected instructor, and a leader for your peers. You’ve turned into nothing more than another fucking idiot who can’t keep his fucking dick in his pants. I’m going to take this shit as far as I can take it, hopefully setting up your court martial right alongside Allen’s. You’re two peas in the same motherfucking pod.”

That comment hit at my psyche, causing my anger to flare up.

“With all due respect, First Sergeant, I am nothing like Allen. I don’t prey on those weaker than me.” If I had lost my right mind, I would have gone off on his ass for the comparison, but he was still my superior and I was still expected to show him respect.

So I showed it, in the least amount possible.

My response must have set him off because he took his big, burly hands and grabbed me by the collar of my t-shirt, pulling my face up to his where our noses were touching. The hot, foul breath intruding my senses made me want to pull away, but I couldn’t. He had me strong and tight, strengthening his grip as he began to speak.

“You listen to me, and you god damn listen well. We are not here to fuck our students, we are here to teach them. What happened to your integrity as a Marine? What happened to your belief in the eagle, globe, and anchor? You set the precedent as lead instructor, and the rest of them are watching you, thinking they can get away with shit like you have.”

Spit was flying from his mouth, hitting my face like a rain shower. I tried hard to hold strong… to not blink… to not give any piece of satisfaction.