C. Brown: Fraternizing

I quickly remembered seeing Alex cry the night before. It didn’t strike me as weird because I was in such an emotional state that his tears seemed appropriate to me. The complexity of the situation that he must have found himself in had to have been difficult for him. He chose to be Alex and not Sergeant Cruz.

He had made that choice for me.

“Anyway, what did the doctors say? Will you be able to participate in graduation?”

“Yeah. I will probably be out of here by Monday. They said I got a slight concussion, so they just want to make sure everything is okay before releasing me.”

“So what exactly happened? If you don’t me asking.”

I wasn’t sure if I minded or not. The idea of rehashing the most traumatic thing that had ever happened to me didn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. In fact, it felt like tiny pieces of me were shriveling up and dying, but I went ahead and told Dalton anyway. His face went from calm and complacent, to horrified, then disgust. The story was heinous, raw, and emotional.

“Did he—“

“No,” I affirmatively cut him off. “The firewatch got there just in time.”

He breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m so sorry, Cassie. I really should have been there. None of this would have happened to you.”

“I said the same thing,” Alex said, walking in with bags of what smelled like breakfast in his hands. He was freshly showered, wearing shorts, a black Marine Corps t-shirt, and sandals. His hand was bandaged, which I didn’t remember seeing before. But overall, he was the same, delectable and delicious Alex. “I felt the same way, Dalton. And now, we work on healing her. That’s all we can do.”

Dalton looked almost stunned to see Alex in a military environment, yet so casual. He scooted his chair, making room for Alex to sit down. He took out a couple of bowls of oatmeal, scrambled eggs, and bacon. I was starving. I couldn’t recall eating the night before. Alex offered Dalton some, but he declined. We ate and made small talk, trying to avoid speaking anymore about the massive elephant in the room. After a while, the conversation shifted to Third L.A.R. and how exciting that would be for Dalton. He went on and on about what he was expecting, and what he was looking forward to. The reality of my North Carolina orders pinged in my head, bringing a melancholy sadness over me. Alex noticed my silence and took my hand, kissing the top while sympathy poured from his golden irises.

There was a knock on the door again, the nurse strolling in once again.

“More handsome men here to see you. Your life is amazing.”

I looked behind her and watched as Riley walked in, flowers in his hand as well.

“How you feeling, tiger?”

He was so casual, so welcoming, so loving. I hadn’t spent a great deal of time with him, but he was so much more than just an instructor. He felt like a friend.

“I’ve been better, but I’m okay,” I answered, trying my best not to sound down. If people were here to see me, I wanted them to see me being strong and vigilant, not as the broken and battered victim that sat before them.

“Well, that’s good to hear because there’s someone here to see you. And I wanted you to be okay before I just marched someone else in here.”

Riley turned for the door and opened it, leading the way for Angelica, who walked in, looking nervous.

“She was down in the lobby, so I brought her up here.”

Alex sat back in his seat, carefully watching her with low, hooded eyes as she walked in and placed a small bouquet of flowers on the swivel table next to me.

“I hope it’s okay that I came by. I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“It’s fine.” She looked as if there was so much more that she wanted to say. I squeezed Alex’s hand and quietly asked, “Will you give us some privacy?”

He looked at me, making sure that I was okay with this, then leaned over and softly kissed my lips, erasing any doubt that there was much more to us, and cementing it for everyone in the room. He gathered up Dalton and Riley, and the three of them walked out of the room.

Angelica wearily moved closer into the room, sitting down in a chair and smiling awkwardly at me.

“Thanks for coming to see me.” I had to break the awkward silence filling the air.

“I—I just felt awful after what happened last night. We haven’t seen eye to eye all of this time, and I’ll be honest, it was because I was a little jealous of you.” My eyes widened as she confirmed what I had been feeling all along. “I don’t like being second best—in anything. I was a bitch to you, and I was wrong. When I saw what went on last night, it put everything in perspective for me.”

I was a bit surprised but overall happy to see her sitting there. She’d walked out of the shower, dressed in nothing but a towel, and had hit Allen a few times, trying to get him off of me when the firewatch came in and finally removed him.

“I don’t even know what to say,” I replied, uncertain how to respond to her confession.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to apologize. When I walked out and saw what was happening to you, I didn’t think of anything else except getting him off of you.” She stopped and looked into my eyes. “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, Cassie.”

“I appreciate it, Angelica.”

“And then, I saw Sergeant Cruz go crazy on him, then scoop you up and nurture you. It was so beautiful. He didn’t give a shit that he was laying it all out on the line.” She stopped again, taking my hand and smiling. “I knew you two were an item, but I couldn’t exactly prove it. It’s out for the world now. But you know what? I saw the love he has for you. It’s amazing.”

I blushed and felt a little squirrelly inside. It was out in the open, and surprisingly, I felt so much better about it.

“I’m not going to stay forever. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry for everything.” She let go of my hand and stood. “You take care. And good luck to you and Alex. First Sergeant O’Hara questioned me for a while last night.”

I swallowed the hard, suffocating lump in my throat. First Sergeant O’Hara was going to be digging, and as much as I was relieved to no longer be living in the shadows, I wasn’t sure how I would react to the imminent fallout. I put on a happy face anyway, not wanting to give away my apprehension.

“Thank you for coming by, Angelica. It means a lot.”

“You’re welcome. Enjoy North Carolina.”

She turned and walked out the door, leaving me in a mess of emotions. I didn’t want to give North Carolina a second thought. I was just so glad to have escaped Allen— and have Alex out in the open— that my orders were more like an afterthought. I wasn’t ready to face that heinous reality. I felt like Alex and I had just made a great stride, and now my departure would be taking it all away.

She walked out without a second look back. I knew we were probably never going to be friends, and that was fine by me, but the fact that she came by meant something, so I took it for what it was worth.

Alex walked back in the room, but Dalton and Riley nowhere to be found. His walk was smooth…sexy…confident, but his face showed nothing but worry.

“What did she want?” he gruffly asked.

“Surprisingly, she wanted to apologize.” His eyebrows shot up, but he didn’t say anything. “She says First Sergeant O’Hara questioned her for a while last night. I’m wondering what all she told him.”

“I don’t give a fuck what she told him. I don’t care if she told him she found us fucking on your floor. I just don’t care anymore.”

“But there’s so much—“

“It doesn’t fucking matter, Cassie. I’m done hiding. If the Marine Corps wants to punish me for not being a fucking robot, then punish away. I love you, and I’m done hiding it.”