Megan Smith - Hard To Love You

“Damn, what smells so good?” Bentley’s voice bellows from the front of the house.

“Ziti.” Logan and I answer at the same time.

I glance over at Logan to see his jade eyes lose the heat that was in them just moments ago. This is good. Logan and I need some distance. Yes, I was slowly getting over Mason but I wasn’t ready to have sex with anyone else just yet.

Zeke comes home shortly after Bentley. I excuse myself and run upstairs to change. When I come back down dinner is out of the oven and Logan is dishing out our plates. I take mine and place a kiss on his cheek.

“Where’s our kiss, sugar lips?” Zeke asks.

As I walk around the table to sit, I kiss Zeke and Bentley on their cheeks. Everyone is chatting away about their days and then Bentley asks about mine.

“Same old same old. But Jaylinn is coming down tomorrow night.” I answer.

Logan’s eyebrows raise, in question about our sleeping arrangements I’m sure.

“You girls want to go out to the club this weekend while she’s here?” Zeke asks.

I take a bite of food, trying to avoid answering his question, but it’s no use; three sets of eyes are waiting for me to answer. “Um, no. We are actually leaving Saturday morning. I’ll be home on Sunday at some point.”

Zeke and Bentley go back to eating but Logan’s eyes bore questions into me. I shake my head no. I’ll explain it to him later.

After dinner has finished I go upstairs and try to finish the book that I started. Jaylinn got me addicted to a series and I can’t stop reading them. A knock sounds from the door.

“It’s open.” I yell from the bed.

Logan walks in and shuts the door behind him. He comes over to the bed and lies down next to me.

He cuts right to the chase. “You want to tell me the real reason Jay is coming this weekend?”

I turn off my Kindle and set it aside. I sit up and cross my legs. “Yeah. Um, they are having a party for Mason and Cooper this weekend for their birthday. Jay begged me to come.”

Logan nods his head. I can’t read his thoughts. Is he mad?

“I miss them, Logan. Ryder is crawling all over the place now. I feel like I’m missing so much.” I explain.

He nods again. “I get it. I’m sure you do miss them. But are you going for everyone or just Mason?”

“Logan …”

Logan gets up from the bed and leaves without another word. I throw myself back on the bed in frustration. Why is he pissy about me leaving for the weekend? Logan and I aren’t in a relationship so it shouldn’t matter, plus I am coming back. It’s not like I’m leaving for good, all my stuff is here. Am I not allowed to have a life and get away for a weekend? Besides, Mason and I are done.

I grab for my cell and give MacKenzie a call but Hunter answers the phone and tells me MacKenzie is throwing up and must have caught a bug. She’ll call me back when she’s feeling better.

Later that night I’m lying in bed, waiting on Logan to come in. It’s Thursday night and we normally spend Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday in my room and the rest of the nights in his room downstairs. Another hour ticks by and there’s still no sing. Finally, growing tired of playing games with Logan, I throw my covers off and go in search of him.

I knock on his bedroom door. I hear his TV on so at least I know he’s at home and awake. I knock again and wait.

“Oh Logan.” I hear a girl moan.

My stomach drops and I feel sick. I run back upstairs, when I reach the top I take a few deep breaths. What an asshole! He gets pissed off because I’m going home. Wait, home? I am home. I’m going to visit my family. It shouldn’t bother me because Logan and I aren’t a couple and we never talk about what we do behind closed doors.

I grab a bottle of Malibu rum from the fridge and run back to my room. When I shut the door a lone tear runs down my face. I angrily wipe it away. Logan’s all over my room. I can’t sleep in here. I grab my pillow and my bath robe, along with the Malibu, and go into the bathroom. There is nowhere else to sleep. I’m not sleeping in my room. I’m not sleeping in the living room and risking having to see that girl walk out. I’m not bothering Bentley and I am sure as hell not sleeping with Zeke. I shiver at the thought of all the girls he’s screwed on his bed.

I dry the tub with a towel, throw my pillow in and then climb into the cold porcelain to drink my sorrows away. Tomorrow is a new day. I can get through anything. I don’t need anyone.

I enlist my sister and Jaylinn to help me win Hailey back. Both girls had little hope since Hailey insisted that she was over me, but after making some amends I have all the girls on board.

Jaylinn suggested throwing us a birthday party and inviting Hailey. It was a long shot because the party was for us. MacKenzie said she had something else up her sleeve if that didn’t work. I didn’t know what that other thing was but she was convinced it would bring Hailey home.

Cooper and I are home for a few days before we have to leave and go on the road again. My days home are packed with seeing houses. Mom walked through a few for me but she said they weren’t my style. I was really hoping the few that Mom had seen would work but I didn’t want to jump into something until I was hundred percent sure it is the house for us.

Early afternoon comes and I’m starving. I need to meet the realtor at one, which gives me about a half hour. I pull into Scotto’s pizza shop to grab a few slices.

I order two slices of plain cheese and a bottle of water. I reach into my pocket to pay and I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I turn slightly, thinking I am in their way.

Lily’s blonde and brown hair is tied over her shoulder, her eyes look tired and her cheeks are sunken. She looks like shit. My gaze drops to her stomach, which is sporting a tiny belly. My fucking heart drops, along with the money in my hands. My world starts spinning and my breath comes in shallow pants.

She’s pregnant.

“Can we talk?” Lily asks. She looks scared and uncomfortable.

I nod because I’m not sure I can talk. Lily walks to a table in the back of the shop, away from prying ears. I feel like the whole world has stopped and is watching the Lily and Mason show. I reach down and pick up the money I dropped. I slap some bills on the counter and follow after Lily.

“So,” Lily starts.

I cringe. She’s going to tell me this baby is mine I know it. What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t want this kid with her. I can’t stand to even look at her. What did I do? This was supposed to be Hailey and me.

“Mason stop.” My eyes shoot to hers. “It’s not yours.”

I let out the breath I was holding and take a couple of deep breaths. The elephant that was standing on my chest has now stepped off. I saw my life crashing around me.

“It’s not?” I ask, needing confirmation one more time, just to be sure I heard her right.

Lily confirms, “No it’s not.”

Lily rests her hands on top of the table playing with the salt shaker. “What did you want to talk about, Lily?”

Lily puts the shaker down and says quietly, “I just wanted to say that I was sorry for that shit I pulled a few months back. Brittany got in my head.” That explained a lot right there. “She thought I could try and pull what she did to MacKenzie and Dominic. The crazy bitch wanted me to blame this,” she points to her stomach “on you. I told her I couldn’t do that and you weren’t the one I wanted anyway. Brittany said there was no way that I could break up MacKenzie and Hunter and you were the next best thing.”

“Fuck.” I cursed.

“Exactly. I wasn’t thinking straight. Hailey walked in while I was buying the test and I thought that was a sign or something.” She shakes her head. “It was a sign to run like hell away from crazy. But then the panic set in and I went with it. Later that night you showed up at the bar. I was at the bar to tell Pat I was pregnant but then I saw you and needed to apologize. I didn’t want Pat to know what I did so I asked you to dance. You were trashed, Mason. I went with my gut. I knew deep down Pat would never want this baby. I told him when you stumbled into the bathroom. He did exactly what I thought he would. He told me to have an abortion; an abortion Mason, all because he didn’t want to leave his perfect life behind. He stormed out and left me in a panic. Brittany’s voice was in my head, ‘Pin it on Mason. He’s your ticket out of this mess.’ So I took you home that night and pretended that we slept together.”