Megan Smith - Hard To Love You

“Ok, how about we play a game.” If he doesn’t want to tell me everything about her that’s fine, but he’s going to have to give me something. This might not answer all my questions but I’ll get the point.

“Alright. What kind of game?” Cole asks.

I reach up and lower the radio. “Twenty questions. You can only skip two.”

“Five questions but no detailed answers.” Cole retorts.

“Deal. I get to ask first.” I’ll take anything I can get at this point.

“Deal.”

I want to choose my questions carefully. I ponder for a few minutes. “How did you meet Lily?”

“At my Dad’s over the summer when we were younger.”

Interesting.

“Is Lily the girl from your past?”

“Yes.”

“Did you love her?”

Please God say no, how could anyone love that whore?

“Yes.”

Gag!

“What happened with you two?”

He doesn’t even hesitate, “Skip.”

I huff. “Fine. Do you still love her?”

“No.”

“Do you still talk to her?”

“Not since the day we broke up.”

Cole looks over at me quickly and then returns to watch the road. “Alright pretty girl, your turn.”

Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice starts to play in the background. I look over at Cole, eyebrows raised. He looks over at me and starts laughing. We both reach for the radio at the same time. Cole glances at me and then drops his hand. I turn the volume up and roll my window down, letting the wind whip my hair around.

Cole starts singing and I start laughing. Damn it feels nice to laugh.

“Ice Ice Baby.” Cole sings.

“Word to your mother.” I sing back the next verse.

We both start jamming and singing along as the miles tick by, farther from my past, and closer to my future.

Let’s Talk About Sex by Salt-N-Pepa comes on next. This time it’s me that starts singing. Cole is cracking up from me being so animated.

“You’re deflecting. I know what you’re doing, pretty girl.” Cole yells over the radio and my singing. I just nod my head to the beat.

Another hour passes and many songs later my voice is hoarse from singing and I’m tired. I roll my window halfway up and rest my head against it.

“Don’t fall asleep on me now. We’re almost there.” Cole says.

I yawn. “Just follow the GPS. I’m only going to rest my eyes.”

The last thing I remember is hearing Hunter Hayes talking about somebody’s heartbreak.

Cole pats my leg, “Come on, pretty girl, we’re here.”

I yawn and stretch. I look around and I see Logan and Zeke coming down the front steps. I jump out of the car and run up to Zeke, throwing my arms around him.

“Hails.” Zeke says as he swings me around in a circle.

“I missed you.”

Zeke sets me back down on my feet. “I just saw you.”

“I know.” I look over at Logan, “Logan.”

Logan winks, “Hailey.” Then he reaches for me and pulls me in for a hug. I sigh in relief. I thought things were going to be really awkward for us.

I turn to Cole, “Zeke and Logan, you remember Cole, right?”

“Yeah.” Both Zeke and Logan say in unison. I walk around to the back of Cole’s car and start grabbing my things. The guys follow suit and within an hour all my things are officially in my new room in Bentley’s house.

All the guys and Bentley’s sister, Nikki, are sitting around the table, drinking beer. I pull up a seat next to them and try to include myself in the conversation. I’ve caught Cole and Nikki eyeing each other a few times from the table. They’d make a cute couple, better than him and the whore.

Hours later and I’ve managed to whip up some Chicken Pasta for the guys, Nikki and Bentley, who’s not long arrived home from work. I spill some sauce on my shirt so I run upstairs to go and change, when I open my bedroom door and glance at my bed, I see a bottle of cotton candy vodka with a pink bow and a little card attached to it. I walk over and pick up the card.

Pretty Girl,

Hope this gets you through your sleepless nights.

Love,

Cole

P.S. Don’t be a stranger. Call me anytime.

I’m teary eyed; I really am a lucky girl to have found Cole. I just wish our timing had been better.

Someone behind me clears their throat and it causes me to jump. “Jesus, you scared me.”

Cole takes a step inside my room and wraps his long, strong arms around me. “I’m gonna miss you. I know that probably sounds weird considering we haven’t known each other long.”

I sniffle, “I’m gonna miss you too.”

Cole kisses the top of my head. “I’m gonna head out. I want to make sure I get some shut eye before the gig tomorrow night.”

I wipe my nose with the back of my hand, “You can stay here with me. I really don’t want you driving this late.”

Cole sticks his hands in his front pockets, “That’s probably not a good idea.”

I throw my arms around him, knowing this is probably the last time I’ll see him at least for a while. “Thank you for all your help with everything, Cole. I owe you.”

Cole squeezes me a little tighter, “You’re welcome. Now fix that broken heart of yours and we’ll call it even.”

I walk Cole out to his car, standing off to the side as he starts it up and puts it in reverse. “Bye pretty girl.”

I wave goodbye. Then something hits me. Cole never asked me why I was moving and not staying. “Cole!” I yell.

Cole stops and sticks his head out of the window. “Yeah?”

“How come you never asked me why I’m moving?”

Cole hesitates for a minute. “Because I already know.” He sticks his head back in the car and backs out of the driveway. He beeps his horn as he drives away. I’m left standing here, wondering how the hell he already knows.

Cooper and I arrive home late on Saturday night; I’m so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open. I want a shower but it’ll have to wait. I walk into my room and pull my yellow t-shirt over my head and fall face first on to my bed. I take deep breath and immediately feel like throwing up. I can smell Lily on my bed, on my covers. Fucking Lily. I climb off the bed, walk to the hallway closet and grab the extra pillow and blanket that Hailey always made sure I had, in case anyone unannounced decided to stay. Hailey. Oh how I wish it was her that I could still smell. I throw the blanket down on the couch, followed by the pillow.

“What did that pillow and blanket ever do to you?” Jaylinn asks.

I whip around, she startled me. “Nothing.” I grumble and lay down the couch, covering my eyes in the crook of my elbow.

I hear Jaylinn walking around my living room but I’m not exactly sure where she is. “I heard about what happened.”

I growl. I don’t feel like talking about this shit.

“Masey,” Jaylinn rests her hand on my upper arm and pulls it away from my face. “I know how much you love her. I’m sorry that you’re hurting but I think this is best for the both of you.” I open my eyes and look over at her. “You both lost your way somehow, Masey.”

My hands ball into fists. I feel like beating the shit out of something but I know it’s only going to help for a few minutes and I think I learned my lesson when I punched my door.

“You know that saying? ‘If you love something, set it free. If it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was’?” Jaylinn asks as she stands.

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with me and Hailey? We’re over, Jay.” I say as my voice cracks.