E. Blair - Falling

“Yeah, we shared all of, what, five months?” he says.

“But you guys have been together longer than that.”

“Yeah, but I never really considered the whole kid thing,” he says and pauses before adding, “We went to a doctor’s appointment this morning.”

“How’d that go?” I ask as I watch him lean back into the chair, fully stressed.

“She’s fourteen weeks pregnant.”

“I don’t know what the hell that means.”

“Don’t you have like twenty nieces and nephews?” he overstates, and I laugh at this guy’s jest.

“Dude, that doesn’t mean I know shit about pregnancy.”

He sits up and rests his elbows on his knees when he states, “Baby will be here in June.”

“It’s so weird to think about,” I say. “You with a baby. You spend your days barking and intimidating people.” We both laugh, and I know he sees the same image I see in my head.

“Ugh,” he groans. “Can we talk about something else, like you and your very unpregnant girlfriend?”

I shake my head when he continues, and asks, “When am I ever gonna meet this chick? You should bring her up here.”

“I tried.”

“What does that mean, ‘I tried’?”

I’ve always been honest with Max about Candace, but I also know how private she is, so I just tell him what she’s told me, which isn’t much. “She has a thing with crowds. They make her uncomfortable. She tried coming, but it was too much for her.”

“What’s up with the crowds?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I admit, “I don’t know. She doesn’t say anything beyond the fact that she doesn’t like them.”

“Have you asked?”

“I don’t feel like I can.”

“I don’t get it,” he says, but I feel like I’m saying too much at this point, so I cut it off.

“She’s doesn’t like crowds; it’s probably as simple as that.”

He catches my intent and backs off, not saying anything else about it.

Hey! You home?

On way now. Leaving gym.

Mind if I stop by?

Not at all. Be there in 10.

See ya!

After I left work the other night, Candace came over and she spent yesterday here as well. I didn’t want her to leave my bed this morning, but she had to go into work since one of the guys quit unexpectedly, so I decided to hit the gym with Jase and Mark to kill some time.

I leave the door unlocked when I get home and run upstairs to grab a quick shower. After throwing on some clothes, I leave my hair wet when I think I hear Candace downstairs.

“Hey, babe,” I say while I walk down the stairs and see her riffling through the drawer in one of the end tables in the living room.

“Hey.”

Walking over to her, I cradle her face and give her a kiss before asking, “What are you scrounging around for?”

“Your mattes. I can’t find them.”

“That’s because they’re not here,” I tell her and then claim her mouth with mine again, taking my time and not backing away, but that doesn’t stop her from mumbling over my lips.

“Where are they?”

“I tossed them.”

She pulls back and breaks the kiss when she questions surprisingly, “What?! Why?”

“Because they made you uncomfortable.”

“But I was looking for the photo of the woman’s back so I could submit it to the gallery.”

She looks disappointed when she says this, and I tell her, “I don’t have it. I threw them all away.”

She’s frustrated when she falls back into the large chair. I move to sit on the edge of the coffee table in front of her and lean forward, asking, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I was just excited to submit that photo.” She leans her head back and looks up at the ceiling, saying, “Maybe it was a stupid idea.”

“Is it that important to you?”

“I just thought if you saw one of your pieces in a showing, that you would see the art in it.”

Thinking about how I could just photograph her, I smile when I say, “It wasn’t difficult to capture or enhance. I can recreate it if you want.”

“We don’t have time for you to find someone to pose. It needs to be submitted tomorrow by the end of the day.”

“We don’t need to find anyone,” I tell her, already excited about being able to get photos of her. “Let’s go upstairs. I’ll shoot your back.”

She immediately blushes. “No.”

“No, what?”

“I’m not taking my top off for you to photograph me.”

“You don’t have to take anything off, promise. It’s an extreme close-up; you only need to hike it up a little,” I try to assure her. Her inhibition is nothing that I’m not aware of, but I also want her to be comfortable enough with me so that we can start to move forward.

“What?” she questions when I stand up and take her hand.

“We’re going upstairs.”

“Ryan, no.”

She tugs her hand out of mine, and I ask, “What’s wrong?”

“It feels weird to me.”

“Don’t let it.”

“You just can’t say that and expect me to be okay. I’m not like the girls you took those pictures of. I’m . . .”

“No, you’re not. You’re nothing like them, which is why I threw them in the garbage.” I move to kiss her, needing her to just relax, knowing it’s just the two of us and no one is judging. When I pull back, I look at her and affirm, “I only want you. No one else. The only photos I want are ones of you.”

She hesitates, but then she nods. I want her to do this, so I don’t say anything else as I walk her upstairs. Letting go of her hand, I leave her in the center of my room as I go into the closet to get my camera, and when I return, she’s still in the same spot. I let her be while I pull the drapes shut, blacking out the room before taking her hand and leading her to the bed.

“Just lie on your stomach,” I gently instruct and watch as she climbs up and lies down, folding her arms underneath her head.

Her eyes stay on me as I crawl onto the bed next to her. Her body flinches when I take the hem of her shirt between my fingers.

“I’m just going to lift it up a little.”

It’s just her back, but she always keeps herself covered up, and I can’t help myself when I drag my knuckles along her spine as I lift her shirt up and then tuck it under the strap of her bra. Her skin is milky and flawless. Perfect.

She takes a deep breath and I ask, “You okay?”

“Mmm hmm.”

I notice her eyes are closed when I get off of the bed to kneel beside it. Picking up my camera that I haven’t used in months, I begin to adjust the settings for the lack of light in the room. I shift my eyes to see she’s watching me, and I give her a small smile then bring the camera up to my eye to set the flash.

“I’m gonna take some test shots to get the shutter speed right, okay?”

Resting my elbows on the mattress, I move in close to her back and capture a few images to make sure the lighting isn’t distorting her lines. When I look at the shot, I notice that there isn’t much curve to her back, so I take a pillow from the bed.

“Here, lean up.” She pushes her chest up from the mattress, and I wedge the pillow under her as I explain, “I just need a little more curve to your spine. Just lie down and relax.”

Kneeling back down, I aim the camera close to her back and softly murmur, “That’s perfect,” and I begin to shoot. I only take about ten quick shots when I set the camera down because everything about this is turning me on.

I’ve never felt anything when taking pictures in the past, but this . . . this feels intimate. Looking at her lying on my bed. I know she feels exposed, and I can see how tense her body is. But for the first time, I feel like we’re connecting in a way that we haven’t before. That she’s starting to trust me.