E. Blair - Falling

“Not really,” she responds as she weaves her legs with mine.

Looking into her eyes, I encourage, “I want you to talk to me. I know something is bothering you, and I want you to talk to me about it.”

She doesn’t speak. I can tell that she’s trying to think of something to say, but nothing comes, so I give her an out and tell her, “I just want you to try.”

Nodding her head, she closes her eyes and after a while, she falls into another fit of sleep, keeping me up most of the night.

When I wake up, Candace is sound asleep, so I slip out of bed and let her rest since I know she didn’t get much sleep last night. Looking down at her, she finally looks peaceful. Everything about her is soft and relaxed.

I head downstairs to grab a cup of coffee as my phone begins to ring. It’s Sunday morning, so I know it’s my mom. We talk for a while until I hear Candace walking down the stairs.

“Hey, Mom. Candace just woke up, so I’m gonna let you go.”

“Let me say a quick hi,” she says, and I know she’s wanting to try to get to know her.

“Hold on,” I tell her and then look up at Candace as I hold the phone out to her, mouthing, ‘My mom.’

Probably feeling a little awkward, she takes the phone anyway, saying, “Hi, Donna.”

I listen to Candace talking with my mom while I make her a cup of coffee. She talks about the solo that she’s been piecing together for her audition next month. Walking over to her sitting on my couch, I hand her the coffee. She seems comfortable talking with my mom, and I like that she can have this with her, even if it is a random phone call. Both of these women are important to me, and to see Candace laughing at something my mom must have just said makes me feel like whatever it is that Candace and I are moving towards could be something special.

“What did she have to say?” I ask when she hangs up and hands me the phone.

“Just wanted to know what I had been up to,” she says and then takes a sip of her coffee. “She’s really nice.”

We sit back and get comfortable when she starts, “Ryan . . .”

“Yeah?” I say as I slide my arm around her.

“Nothing,” she mumbles, dismissing whatever was running through her head.

“Don’t say ‘nothing,’” I tell her, and when I do, she wraps her hand behind my neck and moves me in for a kiss before she nuzzles her head under my chin. Her instinct to avoid is strong, and I try not to question it because I’ve spent my whole life avoiding. I think about what my mom told me about not trying to break down her walls. Taking her advice, I don’t pry. I’m gonna be what I think she needs so that she’ll want to open up to me. I need her to want to do that for me.

Got out of class early. You home?

Yeah. Door is unlocked.

Classes at the university started back up this week, and I’m getting to see how busy Candace actually is with her dancing. She wasn’t kidding when she told me that she lives in the studio. With her busy schedule, I’ve been trying to get most of my work done while she’s in class so I can free up my time at night when she’s typically not busy, unless she’s working.

“Ryan?” I hear Candace call out when she gets here.

“Back in my office.”

She taps on the door before walking in.

“Hey, babe. Come here.”

She walks around my desk, and I reach out to pull her onto my lap. Brushing the hair off her shoulder, I ask, “How were your classes today?”

“Uneventful, but it’s only the first week,” she tells me. “Nothing but going over the syllabus for the most part.”

“I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you,” I say and then bring her head down so I can kiss her. She looks good in her jeans and fitted sweater. She’s always so pulled together, even when she wears her old college t-shirts. She always has a polished look about her that I find really attractive.

“So, don’t be mad, but . . .”

“Oh, God,” I interrupt because it sounds like she’s up to something that I would be mad at.

“Just listen,” she says as she pokes me in the ribs. “When I was on campus today I ran into Stacy Keets who works at the Henry Art Gallery. She was telling me that one of her pieces got picked up for a gallery show next month.”

“So, you want to go?”

“Yes, but I was thinking that you could submit one of your photos.”

There’s the kicker. “Babe,” I say as I shake my head. “Those are just a hobby that I hardly even take seriously. I’m far from having them displayed in a gallery of all places.”

She rolls her eyes at me, dismissing my words when she says, “Well, I happen to love the few photos I’ve seen. They’re a lot better than you think they are.”

“You’re cute,” I tease. The fact that she can view those pictures as something worthy of being displayed as art is a bit far-fetched for me.

“I’m serious, I think that you should at least submit something and see if it gets accepted. If not, nothing lost, right?”

“And if they are?”

A smile crosses her face as she says, “Then you can take me as your date for the showing.”

“If I say I’ll think about it, will that suffice?” I ask, but truth is, I’d take this girl anywhere for a date, so if that means submitting a few pictures, I’ll do it.

“Yep.” She looks like a kid who just convinced her parents to buy her an ice cream, and I can’t help myself when I bury my head in her neck and start playfully ravishing it, knowing how ticklish she is in the spot I’m nipping. She squirms, laughing hysterically as she tries to wriggle her way off of my lap, and when she finally manages, she catches her breath and says, “Show me all your photos so I can pick out the ones for you to consider submitting.”

Clearly I don’t get any input in her little mission. Sliding the door to my credenza open, I pull out the stack of mattes and hand them to her.

“Here, boss,” I say with a wink.

When she turns to head out into the living room, I follow and offer, “Want something to drink?”

“Yeah, anything hot.”

I begin to heat up some water and pull down the tea she likes. She’s been spending more time here, so we took a trip to the store, that way I could have some of her staples here at the loft. I love seeing pieces of her in my home, even if it’s as simple as a canister of her Harrods Ceylon tea that she brought over the other day. As I dip the tea bag in the mug, I look up, and she has the mattes lying facedown on the coffee table.

“I’ll be right back,” she mumbles before rushing off to the bathroom.

Shit. She hadn’t seen all the photos before, and I can only assume that she didn’t like what she saw. They’re mostly nudes, but she had to have known that by the few she had already seen.

I give her a few minutes, but when she doesn’t come back out, I give the door a light knock.

“What are you doing?” I ask suspiciously, even though I have a pretty solid idea as I step into the bathroom with her. When I take a step toward her, she takes a step back, keeping the distance, and the gesture irritates me. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She’s being evasive, and I wish she would just be honest with me.

I drop my head and let out a deep breath, trying to control my frustration with her.

“Is it the photos?” I ask, already knowing the answer, but I feel like I need to spell it out for her because I know how much she likes to avoid talking when she’s uncomfortable.

She doesn’t answer, but her brows are scrunched with worry, and it’s all the confirmation I need.

“Candace, you asked to see them. You knew what they would be of.”