Jen McLaughlin: Out of Time

She wore a short purple-ish dress, a pair of ripped tights, and her hair was falling all around her face. Her makeup was smeared across her cheekbones, and she had the hugest bags under her eyes I’d ever seen …but she was my very own angel.

“C-Carrie?” I managed to croak.

She burst into tears and nodded, smiling at me. Fuck, she looked perfect. “Yes, it’s me,” she said. “I’m here.”

Dad gripped my arm and kissed the left side of my forehead. “You scared us, son.”

I’d scared them? How had they even known about it? I had so many questions to ask, but I didn’t want to. Not now. All that mattered was they were here. And I was alive.

Fucking alive . I wasn’t sure how I felt about that yet.

Carrie kissed my hand, her hot tears hitting my skin. She blinked at me, a soft smile still on her lips. I knew she was putting on a show for me, trying to be brave and all that shit. And I loved her so much for it.

“I know you feel horrible right now, but I’ve never been happier to see those blue eyes,” she said, kissing my hand again.

“You…” I took a deep breath. It hurt to fucking talk, but I had to say something to let them know I was still here, under all the scrapes and bandages. “Look like hell.”

She blinked at me, then a surprised laugh escaped her. Dad chuckled, too, and I eased my head back on the pillow, closing my eyes. That’s what I’d needed. Right there. I needed them to take a break from crying or worrying about me.

And it’s what they needed, too, even if they didn’t know it.

“I’m sure we do,” she said, her voice still light.

“It’s been a rough night, son,” Dad said. “Not anything like yours…”

“I’m feeling pretty good right now,” I said, trying to make light of the fact that I felt like I was dying slowly. “I’m h-h...”

My voice broke and I swallowed hard. I kept picturing the life leaving Dotter’s eyes as I clung to his bloody stump of a leg. Jesus Christ. I’d never forget it.

The doctor cleared his throat. “I think we should let him rest now. I’m going to get him another dose of morphine. You’ll have to say your goodbyes till tomorrow.”

I tightened my fingers on Carrie. I’d just found her again. I didn’t want her to leave, but the nurse pushed a button on my IV station, and the world spun in front of me, taking away my vision and even my concentration. “C-Carrie?”

“I’m still here,” she whispered.

“Tell me something before they dope me up again,” I whispered, urging her closer. “Before I’m g-gone.”

I felt her move closer to me. “Yeah?”

“Is the sun shining?”

Her tears hit my arm, rolling off onto my hospital bed. “It is. And it won’t stop. I’m right here with you. I’m not going any where.”

I nodded and drifted off, the nightmare starting all over again. I could still smell the flesh burning, and I could hear the cries of the dying men all around me, but I knew I wasn’t there anymore. I was home. And Carrie was here, too.

I’d be all right.

What might have been minutes or hours later, I opened my eyes again, blinking into the empty hospital room. I heard someone move closer and slowly turned my head, hoping to see Carrie. Instead, I saw her father. Senator Wallington.

For a second I thought I was hallucinating, so I blinked again. He was still standing there, watching me with those intense blue eyes. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. I was too damn high to make a fucking sound.

When he saw my eyes on him, he took a step closer and rested his hand on my bedrail. “I know you probably won’t remember this, but you’re a hero, son.”

I blinked. Yeah, I was totally fucking high right now.

He sighed. “I know you love my girl, Griffin. And I know she loves you, too.” He looked down at me. “I get why you fell for her. Who wouldn’t? It doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, though. Or that I’ll accept it.”

I wanted to reply so fucking bad, but nothing came out.

I swallowed and tried to open my mouth to talk, but the drugs were still dragging me down. All that came out was a moan sounding like, “ Sir? ”

He flinched and reached out, pushing a button on my IV that controlled my morphine drip. “Get well, son. For both of our sakes.”

Within seconds, the screams of the dying men took over my head again…

And I fell back into my own version of hell.

I have to first and foremost thank my family. My husband, Greg, for being so supportive every time I have to hunker down and get to work. And for my kids: Kaitlyn, Hunter, Gabriel, and Ameline…you’re the best things I ever did. Thanks for being you.

I also have to send my love to my parents, sisters, nephews and brother-in-law. Thanks for being my cheerleaders and also for pimping out my books occasionally. I know you always have my back, and that’s an amazing feeling.

And my amazing agent, Louise Fury from The Bent Agency. You’ve been my nonstop supporter, backbone, guide, and are just all-around awesome to be with. I don’t know what I’d do without you there, helping me make the right choice. You’re a rock star! Much love to you and your hubby, too.

To Team Fury, and everyone at The Bent Agency, I have to say it: I love you all. You’re a great team to be on, and I thank my lucky stars I get to be a part of the group every day!

And thanks are also due to my fabulous publicist at InkSlinger PR, Jessica Estep. You’re the best, and I couldn’t possibly handle all these blog tours and blitzes without you. And thank you so much for all your excitement and confidence in this book, and in me.

I couldn’t leave out my best buddies: Trent, Jill, and Tessa. You three are my rock, and I love how close we’ve gotten lately. NYC crew forever, man!

To my wonderful, fabulous, amazing critique partner, Caisey Quinn. You never let me down, and you’re always here for me, no matter what. I love you, girl!

Thanks to Casey, as well, for your expertise in all things Finn. You’re the best.

To my editor, Kristin; my copy editor, Hollie Westring; my formatter, Emily Tippet; and my cover artist, Sarah Hansen: thank you so much for giving me the best quality service out there! I love you all.

A huge, huge thanks goes out to all the Carrie and Finn fans out there. Thank you for joining me for the second part of their journey. I hope to see you for the final portion of the journey next year!

And to all my writer friends…you know who you are. There are way too many to name in this small section, and I don’t want to leave you out. You know I love you. You know how much you mean to me. And thank you for being you!

THANK YOU!

Jen McLaughlin is a New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestselling author. She writes steamy new adult books for the young and young at heart. Her first release, Out of Line , came out September 2013. She also writes bestselling contemporary romance under the pen name Diane Alberts. Since receiving her first contract offer under the pen name Diane Alberts, she has yet to stop writing. She is represented by Louise Fury at The Bent Agency.

Though she lives in the mountains, she really wishes she was surrounded by a hot, sunny beach with crystal-clear water. She lives in Northeast Pennsylvania with her four kids, a husband, a schnauzer mutt, a cat, and a Senegal parrot. In the rare moments when she’s not writing, she can usually be found hunched over one knitting project or another. Her goal is to write so many well-crafted romance books that even a non-romance reader will know her name.