Sandi Lynn - Forever Black

The night air was exceptionally warm for September, and I wanted to do something other than go home to an empty apartment. “Denny, could you please drive me to the beach?”

He looked up in the rearview mirror, “Sorry Miss Lane, but my orders were to take you straight home.”

I politely smiled, “Denny, either you can drive me to the beach or I will call a cab the minute you drop me off at home. Mr. Black does not own me nor does he have the right to tell me what to do. I do not care if he told you to take me home; I’m telling you otherwise. Now, please drop me off at the beach.”

“Fine Miss Lane, if you say so,” he sighed.

“I do say so and if Mr. Black has a problem with it, then I will deal with him.”

I took off my shoes and carried them as my feet hit the soft warm sand. The ocean looked beautiful at night with the moonlight shining down, illuminating each wave that pushed its way to the shore. I threw my shoes down and ran to the edge of the water. I laughed as the cold water stung my feet making me feel alive and exhilarated. The peaceful sound of the waves lapping against the shore and the sweet smell of the salt water was enough to let me escape into a world of my own, a world I created. I was enjoying the serenity of my world when I heard, “What the hell do you think you are doing?” I sighed for I knew all too well that angered voice. I turned my head to see Connor standing a few feet away from me.

“What are you doing here Connor; don’t you have things to wrap up?” I considered the possibility that his wrapping something up involved sex and the tall beautiful woman.

“I’m here because you didn’t make it home and forced my driver to disobey my orders,” his voice sounded angry.

“Well, it was such a beautiful night, and I wanted to be here; it’s my favorite place.”

“There’s a time and place for here Ellery and now is neither.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m not done here yet, and I’m not leaving.”

He raised his voice, “Ellery Lane let’s go.”

Who the fuck does this man think he is? “Don’t be so grouchy and if you want me to go then you will have to catch me,” I laughed as I started running down the beach.

“For fuck sake Elle, you’re pissing me off,” he yelled as he started chasing after me.

I turned my head and looked behind me as he was catching up; I swear I saw a small smile escape his lips. He was a good runner, but he had an advantage, he wasn’t wearing a long dress. I started to run out of breath and slow down as he came up from behind me, picked me up and put me over his shoulder. I kicked and screamed, “Put me down Connor Black.”

“Not a chance, you will just run again, and I’m done playing games.”

Out of breath I said, “I won’t I promise, anyway I’m out of breath if you couldn’t tell.”

He gently put me down, and I sat on the sand. He looked down at me shaking his head as I held out my hand for him to sit next to me.

“I’m not sitting in the sand in this tuxedo.”

“Live a little Connor, life is too short,” I said as I stared out into the moonlit water. He sighed and sat down next to me.

We sat in silence for a moment, and I was feeling somewhat emotional; I’m blaming the wine, when I started to speak.

“It was my sixteenth birthday when I was diagnosed with cancer.” I felt him look at me as I just stared ahead listening to the whispers of the ocean. “Hey, happy sweet sixteen, guess what, you have cancer.” I felt the tears starting to sting my eyes.

Connor took my hand and whispered, “You do not have to do this.” I would not look at him because if I stared into his beautiful green eyes I would have lost it. I proceeded with my story.

“I could not bear the thought of my father having to go through that torture and pain again like he did with my mother, so I decided I was going to spare him from having to.

“Ellery,” he whispered as he leaned closer to me.

“He was going out on one of his drinking binges, and I knew he wouldn’t be home till the middle of the night, if at all, so that was my opportunity to put my plan into action. I filled the bathtub with hot water, laid back and took a razor blade to both my wrists.” I heard him take in a sharp breath as he was gently rubbing my scar with his thumb.

“Can you believe it was the one night he forgot his wallet and came back to the house; talk about fate right? He found me and called 911. I almost didn’t make it; I had lost so much blood.”

Connor didn’t say a word, but he didn’t have to; I could tell he was choked up.

“I guess God had other plans for me. I went through a year of chemo and went into remission. I was given a second chance at life, and for that I’m grateful. Like I said yesterday, I was young and stupid, and I made a terrible mistake.”

Connor let go of my hand, put his arm around me and pulled me into him. I rested my head on his shoulder. He was firm, and it felt good to be held.

“That is why you have this overwhelming need to help others isn’t it?” he asked as he lightly kissed the top of my head. “You’re a good person Ellery Lane,” he whispered in my ear.

I smiled and closed my eyes. I felt his strong arms pick me up as he carried me across the sand and to his car, which was not his Limo, it was a Range Rover. He carefully laid me in the front seat as I stirred; he whispered, “Sleep angel.”

He pulled up to my apartment, opened my purse to find my keys then carried me to the door. My arms were tightly wrapped around his neck. He inserted the key into the lock and lightly kicked the door open with his foot. He carried me to the bedroom and laid me gently on the bed. I was somewhat aware of what he was doing, but I was too exhausted to move.

He covered me with a blanket and brought the back of his hand to my cheek as he softly rubbed it, “Sleep well angel and sweet dreams.”

The next morning was a work day, and I did not have to be there till noon. I dragged my ass out of bed and got out of my evening gown. I was thankful he didn’t undress me, ok maybe I wanted him to because the moments we shared on the beach was something I never wanted to forget. I felt something change in him last night.

I stood under the hot water and let it overtake me. I couldn’t stop thinking about Connor and how sweet and gentle he was with me last night. I exposed my deepest secret to him, and now regret was settling in. I should not have shown him that side of me; it was too dangerous. I dressed in my leggings and long tunic top, put my hair up in a ponytail and headed to the kitchen to make some coffee. I couldn’t shake the feeling of stupidity for telling him; sometimes I just do not know when to keep my mouth shut.

As I waited for the coffee to brew, I went in my purse and grabbed my phone; there was a text message from Connor.

“Hi, I hope you slept well, I just wanted to see if you were up and how you were feeling.”

A small smile escaped me as I replied, “Good morning, I slept good and I’m feeling fine, thank you for your concern. I hope you have a terrific day and don’t work too hard.”

“I’m glad you are feeling fine, and I always work hard, it’s why I’m as successful as I am. ”

“I believe that and thank you for taking care of me last night, I owe you one!

“Consider it repayment for when you got me home safe. I have a meeting TTYL.”

“Bye.”

I poured some coffee into a mug that read: “I’m not gay, but my ex-boyfriend is,” compliments of Peyton. I walked over at the desk that housed my laptop, opened the drawer and took out the piece of paper that sits neatly on top of a magazine. I looked over the paper and with a pen I scribbled on it and put it back in its place till I needed it again.