Robin Alexander - Pitifully Ugly

I nodded as she pulled off my boots.

She rolled over onto her hands and knees and reached into

a drawer at her bedside, giving me a great view of her backside.

“Think you can handle being in control of this?” Alicia held up

a harness.

I’d had some experience with a strap-on, but it wasn’t

pleasant. We never could get it tight enough, and the base of the

dildo shifted, causing a painful sensation when it hit all the wrong

spots. But I was willing to take one for the team.

After I stripped off the rest of my clothes, Alicia pulled me

by the hips until I was standing directly in front of her. I watched

as she strapped me into the contraption expertly. It fit tight and

didn’t slide when she gave it a tug.

“You’re really going to enjoy this.” Alicia pushed the button

on the first of two well-positioned bullet vibrators. My right leg

shot out like I was being electrocuted.

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Pitifully Ugly

“Shit,” I blurted out. I’d not spoken a word since we’d entered

her bedroom, and that was all I could mutter when the vibration

met with the most sensitive part of my body.

Romantic and very smooth , my brain said in disapproval.

“Fuck me now,” Alicia demanded.

I was willing to oblige but not on her command. I went at

her mouth hungrily, and she ground against me, trying to come

in contact with the dildo. Her nails raked up my back as I moved

lower and took a nipple into my mouth.

“Don’t be gentle,” Alicia said between clenched teeth, and I

bit the tender skin as hard as I dared.

Alicia grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled me up to her

lips. She sucked my tongue as she writhed beneath me, then said

against my open mouth, “Don’t fucking tease me, fuck me now.” I

did as she asked. She was incredibly wet as I guided the tip of the

dildo into her opening, then let her take it the rest of the way.

I felt her heels digging into my ass cheeks, urging me deeper

and faster. The bullets felt like they were vibrating the entire

harness. The sensation was so intense, I thought I was going to

explode like a teenager. We were sweating and making noises

that I was sure they could hear over the music at the bar. And then

another face appeared in my peripheral vision.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

I froze. The vibration of the harness being pressed so tightly

against me robbed me of the breath I needed to scream.

“What does it look like, Ann?” Alicia said angrily.

“With my harness? The one you bought me for my

birthday?”

I rolled away from the stranger, and Alicia slipped from

beneath me. She rose up and stood toe to toe with Ann, and they

began screaming in each other’s faces.

I struggled to get the harness off, but my hands were shaking

so badly, I couldn’t unclip the damn thing. Ann walked toward

me and stuck a finger in my face. “Get the fuck out of here.”

“I’m trying,” I said like a fool. I grabbed my pants and the rest

of my clothes off the floor and vibrated down the hall when the

two resumed yelling. The harness wouldn’t budge, and I knew at

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Robin Alexander

any minute Ann whoever she was would be coming down the hall

to pitch me to the curb.

I pulled my pants on over the diabolical sex toy, but there was

no way I was going to be able to zip them for two reasons. First,

the dildo was too big. Second, the damn thing was vibrating so

much I couldn’t control my hands. Putting my boots on nearly

killed me.

I half ran down the street, holding my blazer in front of me

to hide the party going on in my pants. My teeth were chattering

not from the cold, but from stark terror and two bullets that must

have had fresh batteries. I cursed the Energizer Bunny under my

breath. Each step I took pressed the vibrators harder against me.

I stumbled several times when one of them hit just the right spot,

causing me to lose control of my right leg. The sensation had gone

from moderately pleasurable to agonizingly unbearable.

I nearly cried tears of relief when I found the lock to the

courtyard undone. Fishing out my keys was not going to happen.

I was on my way up the steps when the door opened, and Fuzzy

seemed to smile down at me. “Hold the door please,” I said

between clenched teeth.

“Are you okay?” Hailey asked with concern.

“Yes.” My voice came out in a squeak.

Hailey must have been stunned by my appearance because

she stood blocking the door while I tried to maneuver around her.

“Are you vibrating?” she asked.

“My phone, gotta go,” I said in a voice two octaves higher

than normal.

I dropped my jacket in the hall, but I couldn’t stand the thought

of bending over for it. I hoped whoever found it would look good

wearing it. I stood breathing heavily in the elevator. The ride up

seemed excruciatingly slow. No amount of wiggling or shifting

could make enough space between me and the harness. After a

violent wrestling match at my door, I managed to get my hands

on my keys and ran through the living room screaming like I was

on fire. I hobbled into the kitchen, yanked my pants down, and

cut myself free with a kitchen knife. I was still lying on the floor

sobbing with relief when I heard a soft knock.

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“Just a minute.” I danced around, kicking off my pants, and

grabbed a robe from my bedroom. I opened the door just a crack

and peered out at Hailey. She held up my jacket.

“You…um…left this laying in the hallway,” she said as she

handed it to me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I am now, thank you.”

“Okay, well, good night,” she said with a smile.

I watched as she walked away, then closed my door. “Great,

she probably thinks I wet my pants or worse,” I mumbled as I

staggered toward the bathroom.

When I passed the kitchen, the harness was still vibrating on

the floor like it had a life of its own. I stomped it a few times just

for the pleasure of it before I found the buttons and switched them

off. I barely had the strength to toss the hateful contraption into

the trash can. “Happy fucking birthday, Ann,” I said as I limped

away.

Robin Alexander

Chapter 5

Try, try again.

I woke up the next morning and realized it was nearly noon.

After soaking my sore girl bits in the bath for an hour, I gingerly

sat at my computer. Newbie had finally responded the night before

when I was out getting hammered in more ways than one.

Hi, P.U.,

I’ve been enjoying the New Orleans flavor a little too much.

I’m gonna have to go back to eating nuts and berries if I keep this

up. So I was wondering, what do you do for entertainment? Do

you have any recommendations?

Newbie

I wanted to write back and say stay away from cosmopolitans

and cheating hairdressers, but that was a topic that I wanted to

fade into oblivion. I’m not sure what got into me, but I decided to

take a chance…

Hi, Newbie,

I’m not really a barhopper, so I can’t give you much advice in

that area, but if you’d like to maybe see some of the sites around

town, I would be happy to show you around.

P.U.

I had a few new messages, but I decided that work needed to