Robin Alexander - Pitifully Ugly

few.”The conversation seemed to flow well after that. We talked

about growing up in New Orleans and shared silly stories

about our childhoods. I found myself relaxing and enjoying her

company, until…

“So…” Stacy leaned in closer. “Let’s talk about things of a

more personal nature. I like to get this out in the open because it

spares embarrassment later. How many dates do you like to go on

before things get intimate?”

What happened to I’m looking to make a friend first, and if

that develops into something more, that’s fine by me ?

4

Robin Alexander

“I…uh…”

“Don’t be bashful,” she said with a grin. “We need to know if

we’re compatible, right? We’re adults, and adults have sex.”

I had no problem with sex, although I didn’t care to discuss it

when I wasn’t doing it. But I did have a problem with her bringing

it up at our first meeting. “I guess your question just took me by

surprise.”

Stacy aka Charity leaned even closer to me and stroked the

back of my hand. “I’m a cut-to-the-chase kind of girl.”

I watched her fingers and noticed the indention on her left ring

finger. Somewhere in her pocket was a gold band that probably

matched another worn by a girlfriend who had no idea her lover

was meeting me for coffee, or worse, a husband waiting for her to

bring home an extra plaything.

“How do you feel…” she lowered her voice, “about anal

sex?”“What?” I practically shouted. “Oh, my God! You touch

babies with those hands?”

“Don’t get all prudish, and lower your voice.” Stacy looked

over at a few stunned onlookers and smiled. When she looked

back at me, the smile dropped from her face with what little

charm she had up until that moment. “Look, I don’t think things

are going to work out between us.”

“I’ll say.”

“I’m gonna go now, it’s been a treat.”

It sure was, I thought as I paid the tab and left.

I was disgusted when I burst through the courtyard gate. As

was becoming a habit, Hailey met me in the courtyard.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I was just thrown for a loop.”

“Were you mugged?” she asked with a horrified expression.

“No, metaphorically speaking. I just had an eye-opening

conversation with someone.”

“You want to have a coffee with me and talk about it?”

“No, no coffee!”

“Okay, calm down.” Hailey held her hands up and backed up

a step.

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Pitifully Ugly

“I’m sorry. I guess it was all for the best. She was more than

likely going to be a pain in my ass.” I ran my fingers through my

hair and let out a long breath. “I’m sorry.”

“A prospective client, I presume?” Hailey asked.

I should’ve come out and said a prospective date, but I wasn’t

ready to reveal the fact that I was gay. I’d begun to enjoy Hailey’s

company, and I didn’t want any awkward tension between us.

“How about a walk? I’ll treat you to a cup of coffee if you’d

like,” I said as I began to calm down.

“A walk sounds great, and maybe we can have lunch. That’ll

be my treat.”

“Will Fuzzy be joining us?” I asked when I noticed the dog

wasn’t with her.

“No.” Hailey pushed open the gate and waited for me to walk

through. “She’s watching a movie.”

I noticed that she didn’t crack a smile when I walked past her.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, she likes Grease . She can be chasing a ball or ripping

up a stuffed toy, but when that movie comes on, she stretches out

in front of the TV and doesn’t move until it’s over. Don’t try to

sing along, either. That just pisses her off.”

“She’s good company, isn’t she?”

Hailey pulled a pair sunglasses off the top of her head, turning

her curls loose. She looked sexy with the dark glasses and her hair

all wild, but I missed seeing her vibrant green eyes. “She’s loaded

with unconditional love. She never argues or complains unless

I interrupt her movie. When I’m sad, she knows it and curls up

next to me.”

“Maybe that’s what I’m missing in my life. A pet, something

to take care of.” I shoved my hands into the pockets of my hoodie

as the cool January wind pushed in behind us.

“There’s no significant other in your life then?” Hailey

asked.

“No,” I said with a shiver. “Sometimes, I doubt there ever will

be. I’m not very good at playing the dating game.”

“Sometimes it’s just easier being alone,” Hailey said as she

dodged a sewer grate. “No hurt feelings, no obligations.”

4

Robin Alexander

We strolled up St. Ann to Bourbon Street. When we got to the

intersection, Hailey turned right. If she noticed all the rainbow

flags waving above us, she didn’t let on. She was new to the

neighborhood and probably unaware that she’d just led us into

the heart of the gay district. She was telling me about meeting

the couple who lived in the apartment behind hers. When we

passed two drag queens, she didn’t bat an eye. She smiled and

said hello to them unfazed. I took that as a good sign. Maybe

when I revealed I was gay, she wouldn’t be put off.

As promised, I bought her a cup of coffee, and we found an

open bench dappled in warm sunlight and took a seat. “So where

did you move here from?” I asked. Her lips twitched for a second

before she answered.

“I was on Tchoupitoulas Street for a while.”

“Oh, so you didn’t move far. You’re probably pretty well

acquainted with the neighborhood.” She’d taken her sunglasses

off in the coffee shop, but she put them back over her eyes before

answering.

“Not really,” she said after her lips twitched again. “I never

really ventured down this way much. You don’t really get to know

an area until you live there, I guess. How long have you lived here?”

“All my life, but I’ve only lived in our building for about

six years. It’s funny, I never experienced Mardi Gras until I

was eighteen. My parents would take us to Harahan to stay with

my grandparents every season. They’d drive us to school in

horrendous traffic, it took forever. I remember sleeping under a

blanket in the backseat for most of the ride.”

“You never got to see the parades?”

“The smaller ones in Harahan, but not in the city until I was an

adult. My parents weren’t prudes, but they didn’t want to expose

us to the crowds. My mother was terrified that we’d get separated.”

Hailey took a sip of her mocha latte and purred in delight. “I

guess my parents might’ve been the same way.”

“I take it they don’t live in the city?”

“No.” Hailey shook her head. “Washington, my dad is retired

military.”

“How’d you end up here then?”

4

Pitifully Ugly

“Work.” She gave my arm a squeeze. “Now that you’re calm,

do you want to tell me about why you were so upset earlier?”

I looked at her for second, wishing she would take off her

glasses. I wanted to see her eyes when I told her the truth. “I’m

a member of an online dating site. I met a girl there that seemed

really nice. We agreed to meet at Café Du Monde, and everything

was going well. I kind of got my hopes up that she’d be someone

I would be interested in dating.” I waited a second, watching her