Robin Alexander - Pitifully Ugly

chocolate cheesecake. I’ll have to avoid it in the future, too.

As you mentioned earlier, I’ve been getting a few creepy e-

mails, too. I’m glad you’re normal…even if you’re kind of rabid.

So have you been brave enough to go out with any of the people

you’ve met here?

Newbie

I read her e-mail a couple of times, actually a dozen. If she

found the wind coming off the river bone chilling and she’d been

in the Quarter, then she had been in my neighborhood. And she’d

gone to Fiorella’s. I wondered if we’d passed each other on the

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street. Even though she would never figure out where I lived, I was

still apprehensive to reveal that she’d been close to my apartment.

I wondered if she happened to live close by.

Hi, Newbie,

So you tried out Fiorella’s. Good for you. There are so many

places here to eat good food. You should try Maspero’s next.

They’re near the Quarter, too. Anything on the menu is good.

You’re right about our summers. They are hot and muggy

and sometimes downright oppressive. I don’t care for the cold,

either, but I miss it when the heat feels like it’s going to melt my

hair off.

I haven’t been brave enough to take up any offers yet. I did

get a haircut today, and one of the stylists gave me her card. I

don’t have any plans to call her, but it was nice to be noticed.

How about you? Gone on any dates yet?

Was she flirting with me? What if she asked me to meet her

in person? That was a sobering thought. I liked the mystique of

not knowing who she was, and although it might be nice to meet

her one day, the thought made me nervous.

One thing was for sure. Things were looking up, and I had a

glimmer of prospects. I couldn’t date a stylist from another salon.

Kalen would kill me for one thing, and it would be a conflict in

my opinion. Oh, but it was a sweet moment when she handed me

her card.

I didn’t hear from Newbie again that night nor the next day.

Unlike the last time, I didn’t get disappointed. I knew she would

eventually respond.

As luck would have it, there was a problem at the store on

Canal Street. The manager, Blitz, as she liked to call herself, was

caught in the crossfire between two stylists. Tension had been

brewing between the two for a while over a guy they were both

dating. The two had almost come to blows in the back of a packed

salon, and I’d been called for backup.

Blitz was red-faced when I arrived and apologetic for having

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to call me in. Kalen had left strict instructions that if there were

any more problems, they’d both have to be let go, and this was a

problem. My stomach was in knots. I’d never had to fire anyone,

and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

I followed Blitz to the back office where she filled me in

on what happened. They’d both made a huge scene in front of

customers. First trading insults that quickly led to a face-to-face

screaming match and some shoving.

“I’ve talked to them both on three separate occasions.” Blitz

pushed the documentation across the desk at me. “They both

signed the warnings. They know better than to pull this shit.”

“I have a guy in mind as one of the replacements, but he’ll

have to give notice to his employer. We won’t have him for two

weeks. Do you think you can cover two slots for that long?”

“I’ve been anticipating this,” Blitz said wearily. “Everybody

knows they’re on the chopping block, and a few have already

volunteered to fill the gap. Plus, Carol at the Rampart location

said she can spare at least one of her staff to help cover.”

I looked down at the warnings in front of me. Blitz had

detailed each incident and the probable outcome if the problems

continued. She’d done a good job of handling the situation, and

I knew that I couldn’t let her or the other employees down by

allowing the two troublemakers to remain.

“Okay, please bring them in.” I sounded a lot calmer than I

felt.Minutes later, Patrice and Kelly were sitting across from

me, and Blitz stood in the corner with her arms folded across her

chest.

Patrice, the bolder of the two, went on the offensive before

I ever spoke. “I know why you called us back here, and I think

it’s unfair.” She jerked a finger in Kelly’s direction. “She’s been

harassing me, and I’m not taking any of her bullshit anymore.”

“Have you filed a harassment claim with Blitz?”

“Harassing you?” Kelly interrupted. “You’re the one who

sends me threatening text messages all the time.”

I held up a hand. “Stop. I asked a question, Patrice. Did you

file a harassment claim with Blitz?”

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“No.”

“You’ve both been warned three times that bringing this

issue to work was unacceptable, and now you’ve made a scene in

front of customers. Your employment here is terminated effective

today. You’ll both leave through the back entrance after Blitz

collects your things.”

Patrice’s face turned blood red, but before she could open her

mouth, I went on. “If you cause another commotion in this salon,

I’ll have you escorted out by the New Orleans Police Department.

Are we clear?” I’d heard Kalen use that line, and I hoped that I

sounded as tough as she did, even though my knees were banging

together under the desk.

Both women got up without another word, and fortunately,

Blitz was one step ahead. She’d already had a couple of the stylists

box up Patrice and Kelly’s workstations while we talked.

“Were you really going to call the police on them?” Blitz

asked when we were alone again.

“I was hoping that scared them, but if they caused enough of

a ruckus, I might’ve.”

Blitz and I sank down into the office chairs and sighed with

relief. Blitz let lose a tiny chuckle. “They both drew down on each

other with cans of hair spray. It was beginning to look like an

Old West shootout. All this was over a smooth-talking punk that

probably didn’t give a rat’s ass for either of them.”

“At least they didn’t pull scissors.” I rested my head on the

back of the chair and looked over at Blitz. “I’m glad it’s over. Kalen

said they were beginning to affect morale among the staff.”

Blitz nodded, then looked at me wide-eyed. “You look great.

When did you get it cut?” She pointed at my head, and for a

minute, I’d forgotten my new look.

“The guy I’m about to hire did it. I think he’s gonna fit in

great here.” So much for keeping my changes quiet.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I apologized to the customers that

witnessed the fight and gave them all a discount on their next

visit.”

“Marion Caznyk, you handled this perfectly. I’m proud of

you.”

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She shot me a look. “If you’re proud of me, call me Blitz.”

“It’s a deal, Blitzen. Now I have to get back home and get to

work. First on the agenda is to give Marvin a call and get the ball

rolling.”

Blitz went back to her duties, leaving me alone to wander.

Before I took the long walk home, I strolled through the salon

and chatted with a few of the staff. Of the four salons, the Canal