Nicole Edwards - Zane

Glancing down at her drink, realizing it was empty, V pushed back her chair and rushed across the room, her eyes on the bar and the much needed drink she knew awaited her. There was no way she could do this. Seeing Zane was hard enough, but if he even pretended to hit on another woman, she wasn’t going to be able to hold it together.

“Hey.” The deep voice startled her, and V nearly fell into the big man at her back.

Turning, she looked up into beautiful, familiar eyes, and V had to force herself to calm down. Beau. Ever the friend. “Hey,” she replied, moving into the line that extended out from the bar. She wasn’t all that surprised to see how busy a club like this one was, but V suddenly wished she were at home at Moonshiners, where the bartender knew everyone, and there weren’t any lines.

Or strippers.

“You ok?” Zane’s voice was both soothing and calm, the complete opposite of her emotions at the moment.

No. No, she sure was not. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Y’all can’t run from each other forever, you know.”

V glanced up at Beau, wishing he would mind his own business, but at the same time appreciating the fact that he cared enough to check on her.

“Don’t you have a stripper that would like to experience what it’s like to be the center of an Oreo?”

“He’s not like that, V. You know it, and I know it.”

“No?” she questioned, glancing behind him to see what Zane was doing at the moment. To her surprise, he was sitting by himself once again, staring down into his beer. Damn him.

V spent the last week coming up with all the pros and cons of being with Zane Walker and she didn’t want to admit it, but the list was undoubtedly in his favor.

As much as she wanted to pretend he wasn’t exactly what she wanted, V hadn’t been able to come up with enough that would convince her. Even the “too young” that she’d put at the very top of the list was bullshit, and she knew it. If anything, Zane was more mature than she was in many ways. Especially when it came to accepting his feelings. She just wasn’t sure why she couldn’t get past that nagging feeling that told her to keep her distance.

“Dance with me,” Beau said, pulling her out of the line and over toward the small dance floor.

This wasn’t a country bar, and quite frankly, V didn’t know the music, but at least it was slow. Instead of fighting, because she wasn’t interested in making a scene, V allowed Beau to pull her up against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“He misses you, V. He might not admit it, but it’s obvious.”

V looked up into those endless brown eyes. Beau Bennett was a devilishly handsome man. Had she not been in love with Zane since almost the moment he put his lips on hers, she could’ve seen herself dating Beau. But, she knew that would’ve been all they had. In all of her thirty years, V had never allowed herself to get close to any man. She hadn’t been looking when Zane stepped in her path that one fateful night, but she hadn’t looked back either. Despite her fears – mostly for Zane’s physical safety – V knew she couldn’t keep up this charade. She would have to face up to her feelings sooner or later.

“I miss him, too.” Maybe she’d get props for admitting she had a problem. Maybe not.

Either way, V couldn’t deny it. Not with Beau. They’d become good friends in the last few months, and she couldn’t lie to him. She was pretty sure he’d see right through her if she tried.

“It’s not too late, you know.” Beau held her close, but not too close. His voice soothed her, and she hoped they wouldn’t turn so that she could see Zane. If he decided to hit on that stripper again, she was pretty sure she was going to break down in tears.

She didn’t respond to Beau’s comment, not quite sure if she was supposed to say anything. Watching Zane with another woman was painful, thinking about not seeing him every day was even more so. However, she couldn’t help but wonder whether she was the right woman for him.

According to him, at least, by the way he made her feel, she was the right woman. V felt different when they were together, and not just when they were in bed. In so many ways.

She didn’t worry about what was to come, didn’t worry about why she was the way she was, and she didn’t worry about who Zane expected her to be. He wanted her for her, and that’s all anyone ever could ask for.

On the other hand, Zane had nearly lost his life because of her. There were plenty of Jake Sanders in the world, and since she’d always been the butt of the jokes, or the topic of gossip, she knew Zane was going to risk his life any time he decided that someone was in the wrong for what they said or did. V wasn’t sure she could handle that.

She couldn’t handle losing Zane. Not forever anyway. She’d much rather walk away from him now and know that he was strong and healthy and would make some woman extremely happy someday. If she didn’t, what might happen? That was the question that constantly plagued her.

If only her brain and her heart could somehow get on the same page. They weren’t working together, and V was so confused because of it. Seeing him tonight, she’d been beside herself with wanting to talk to him. Only he evidently didn’t want to talk to her. At least not until she told him what he wanted to hear. Unfortunately, V wasn’t sure she could. The more time that passed, the more she wanted to, but she also knew that she was pushing him away with each passing minute.

“Talk to him,” Beau whispered in her ear and V looked up into his beautiful brown eyes. “Now.”

V pulled back, but she was instantly distracted by the tall, handsome cowboy that took a step closer, successfully inserting himself between her and Beau.

“May I?”

Zane’s voice was like creamy, rich chocolate and V craved more of it. Without hesitation, she allowed Zane to pull her into his arms. She settled within his embrace, her face resting against his shoulder, the overwhelming scent of him causing tears to prickle behind her eyelids.

“Are you having a good time?” Zane asked the question, and V tried to discern the underlying intent. She first thought he was trying to be sarcastic, but she didn’t hear any heat in his words.

“No,” she said sincerely, not turning her head to look at him.

“Me either.” His breath was warm against her face, and she wanted to look up at him, to taste his lips, but she didn’t. Knowing that this was as hard for him as it was for her didn’t make her feel any better.

“Zane,” she began but quickly shut her mouth again. What was she going to say? Everything that was in her heart would likely have him angry with her because, aside from the fact that she loved him, she still didn’t know whether they could actually be together.

She felt broken. He was finally whole once again. How would that work? She couldn’t even go to her own house without having a mental breakdown. And even Greyson told her that she needed psychological help.

While she’d been at her mother’s house, V looked up post-traumatic stress disorder, and she definitely recognized some of the symptoms. It just didn’t seem like the right diagnosis though. She wasn’t the one who’d been through the devastating experience. She was just a bystander to the horror. If Zane wasn’t screwed up because of it, why would she be?

The slow song ended, and a fast one took its place. Thankfully, Zane took her hand and led her away from the chaos that erupted on the dance floor. She expected them to return to the table, but to her surprise, Zane led her toward the back of the club. She noticed a dark hallway and realized that was where Zane was headed.

God, she only hoped she didn’t do something stupid.