Molly McAdams - Needing Her

My mind flashed back to Cassidy for the first time in a month. Having her tell me to leave the way Maci just had . . . but at the time, I’d listened to her and had left. Maci was different, I couldn’t leave her . . . not again. “I can’t.”

She turned toward the door, before looking back at me, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. “Why?”

“Because you’re mine , Maci! You’re. Mine.”

“You said—­”

“I know what I said . . . I was lying. I was scared of what your brothers knew about me, scared of what I could do to you . . . and so I did what I thought would be best for you. But I’m miserable, and I know you are too.” I had taken a few steps toward her, but was afraid of pushing her back, so I stopped halfway between her, Sam, and her family.

Maci shook her head, clearly confused. “What you could do to me . . . ? I don’t . . . what do they know?”

Turning to look at Dakota and Dylan, I shook my head when I realized and understood what I had to do. I threw my arms out at my sides helplessly when I looked back at Maci.

“I was abused as a child. That’s why I’m so protective of Amy. Because she was older, she took my half of the beatings until I was old enough to understand, and made sure that she took as little of them as possible. The guy wasn’t even my biological father, but it was my mom’s husband, and he was the one who raised us. He almost killed us one night, that’s how we met our adoptive parents. My dad was one of the detectives on scene, and he and my mom fought to adopt both Amy and me.”

The room had gone completely silent, and Maci stood there staring at me with wide, devastated eyes. Her mouth hanging open as she shook her head back and forth, like she was in denial.

“I’ve always felt like I had to protect Amy from men. After we were adopted, it took until she met her husband in college for her to trust anyone other than Dad and me. But the problem that your brothers have with us being together is I have my own demons to face from that time in my life. I’m . . . shit, Maci, I’m terrified of turning into him. I have nightmares of being him to my future family. I had no idea I’d even told your brothers about all this until they informed me when I approached them about us a ­couple days ago. Apparently I got wasted one night and told them. I told them that I’d ruin and destroy my future family.”

“Connor,” she whispered.

“That’s why they don’t want us together. That’s everything I’ve been keeping from you, and that’s why I left you. I thought I was protecting you.” Closing the distance between us, I got as close to her as I could without touching her. “Yes, I’m afraid to get angry, because I don’t know what I’ll do because of the nightmares I constantly have about turning into him. And I know I upset you, but I know that I would never hurt you, Maci.”

“I—­I had no idea. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

Cupping her face in my hands, it felt like I was taking my first real breath in two days. “You’re not the one that’s supposed to be sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. But, Maci, I can’t lose you.” Pressing my forehead to hers, I whispered so only she could hear me. “You were so wrong the other night. You own me . Don’t you fucking get that?”

A sound that was half laugh, half sob, left her and she crushed her mouth to mine.

“I’m in love with you Maci,” I said against her lips. “God I’m so in love with you.”

“Connor.”

“What—­fuck, Mace!” I wheezed and bent forward when she punched me in the stomach.

“That’s for listening to my brothers.”

I deserved that. But, shit, that hurt. As soon as I straightened up, Maci threw herself at me; wrapping her legs around my waist as I gripped her body to mine.

“And I love you too.” She smiled at me wryly before I captured her lips again.

A few seconds later, someone started clearing their throat. I froze from kissing her, and slowly lowered her back down to the ground before facing her family.

Maci’s dad looked around like he was lost. “Well, this has been an interesting vacation so far.”

“That’s all you have to say?” Dylan asked. “Did you not hear what he just admitted to?”

Mr. Price turned to look at his sons and a sound of disapproval left his chest. “I did, and I must say . . . I’m disappointed in you two for how you’ve treated him and your sister. Every man has fears that he won’t be able to be the perfect husband and father; Connor’s are a little different, and for good reason. The fact that you let his fears get in the way of a lifelong friendship and used it against him so he would leave Maci pisses me off about as much as it upsets me to see my little girl cry. Connor just manned up to something he shouldn’t have to be ashamed of, and stood up to you all because he’s in love with your sister. The two of you could take a lesson.”

Dakota and Dylan both stood there staring at the floor with matching expressions of guilt and indecision. Like they couldn’t figure out if they wanted to continue fighting their side.

“I think we all need to go to bed so we can sleep on this, and we’ll talk about it again tomorrow. No one is level headed enough to continue with this conversation . . . if we can even call it that.” Mr. Price turned and walked over to Maci and me, his hand outstretched for me to shake it. “I’m glad it’s you, Connor. Really, I am. But if I catch you sleeping with my daughter tonight, I’m likely to change my mind on that. Your room is still free, I’ll be sure to check on both you and Maci often tonight.”

Gripping his hand firmly, I cracked a smile but looked him directly in the eye. “Understood, sir.”

Pulling me in close to pound on my back, he held me there as he said, “You’re a good man, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Wherever this takes you and my daughter, I’d be proud to have you in her life.”

I stood there in shock when he stepped back. After everything I’d just said, I wouldn’t expect that reaction from any dad, but especially Maci’s. He’d always been intimidating . . . which, considering my profession and the kinds of ­people I dealt with, is saying something.

Maci grabbed my hand, and I looked down to see her smiling up at me.

“Thank you,” she said softly, her gray eyes bright with left-­over tears.

“For what?”

“Coming back for me.”

Cupping her face in my hands, I leaned close and spoke low, hoping she understood how much I meant every word. “I’m sorry I ever left; I swear it will never happen again.”

When she nodded, I pressed my mouth to hers, and savored every second of her lips against mine until her dad grumbled, “Checking your rooms tonight.”

Maci laughed, and leaned in to steal another kiss when I quickly pulled away from her. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Smiling, I brushed back a few strands of her hair that had fallen forward. “Good night, Maci Price.”

With a wink, she turned and waited for Amber to join her before heading downstairs. Once everyone else began dispersing, I glanced over at Dakota and Dylan to see them watching me. Holding back a sigh, I headed downstairs as well and took the room I usually occupied.

Since I hadn’t taken the time to pack anything, I put everything on me on one of the nightstands, left my jeans on, and pulled my shirts off before climbing into bed. And for the first time since I’d made Maci cry, sleep came quickly.

JOLTING UP IN bed, I stopped reaching for my gun and blew out a deep breath when I saw Maci shutting and locking my door. The air rushed from my lungs at seeing her standing there, and I had to wonder if I was dreaming for a minute. A residual ache deep in my chest kept the reminder of what I’d done to her . . . but even through my sleep-­fueled haze, I remembered driving up to Mammoth and fighting to get her back.