Molly McAdams - Needing Her

Little puffs of clouds filled the space between us from our breath for silent minutes as tears filled my eyes, and eventually spilled over.

“There’s always a choice, Sam,” I choked out as I remembered Connor’s words the night my brothers had shown up at his apartment, and turned to head back to the cabin. “I just wasn’t enough for him, apparently.”

Sam grabbed me and pulled me back. “Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not enough. And if that’s what this is”—­he gestured toward me—­“Maci, you look beautiful, but this isn’t you. This isn’t my little sister.”

“God, not you too. It’s just time for a change,” I repeated mechanically. “Why is that so difficult for everyone to comprehend?”

“If you wanna change, then change. But do it because it’s what you want for you and your life, not because other ­people have made you feel like you need to. After what I heard from the prick that’s high on his daddy’s money last night, you’re not doing this for you.”

“I’m not doing it for Bryce either.”

“And thank Christ for that. Deep down though, I think you’re letting everything he’s said to you—­and what happened to you and Connor—­get to you, and you think this is what you have to do. You don’t: all you have to do is be the Maci everyone loves, and let the rest fall into place, okay?”

Tears continued to fall down my face, but I didn’t try to brush them away anymore. The corners of my mouth lifted in a shaky smile and I cocked my head to the side as I looked at my brother.

“Who are you and what did you do with Sam?”

He laughed loudly and pulled me in for a hug. “Come on, let’s go back in. It’s freezing, and whichever twin’s jacket this is, it smells like he had prostitutes hanging all over him. Jessica is going to freak when she smells me.”

I didn’t have to ask what he was talking about. You could smell the jacket from a mile away. “I’ll back you up that it isn’t your jacket as long as you do me a favor. Don’t hold me back when I go ape-­shit on Dakota and Dylan’s asses when we get back.”

“Deal.”

But when we got back, Sam didn’t have to worry about holding me back. Craig and Dad were trying to moderate a yelling match that was getting closer and closer to a brawl between Dakota, Dylan, and Connor.

Connor

PARKING BEHIND THE multiple cars at the cabin, I started cursing at the icy walkway as I tried to run up to the door. Without knocking, I walked in and walked toward the living room, where I could hear voices.

“Connor!” Dakota said loudly, his voice deceivingly happy. His eyes looked dark when he noticed my mood.

“Where is she?” I huffed as I looked around the room. I heard a bunch of women talking in the kitchen and turned that way.

“We told you,” he began as he stood in front of me, stopping me from getting closer to the girls.

“I said where the fuck is she?”

“Hold on here,” Mr. Price said, standing up from one of the couches. “What the hell is going on?”

“Connor,” Dylan said in warning as he shook his head.

“Maci!” I yelled toward the kitchen, and Dakota pushed me back with a hard shove.

“We told you to stay away!”

“The fuck?” Craig said as he came to stand behind Dakota.

“And I should have never listened to you! Maci!”

The women began pouring into the living room, and I looked wildly for her.

“She’s not here,” Amber said, her face breaking out in a smile when she saw me. “She left, but Sam followed her.”

“Left? Left for where?”

“It doesn’t fucking matter, because we told you to stay the hell away from her!” Dakota yelled, and started coming toward me, but Craig stopped him.

“Now everyone just shut the hell up!” Mr. Price yelled and walked into the triangle Dakota, Dylan, and I were making. “This has been the most dramatic Christmas vacation I think we’ve ever had. Now someone better explain to me what’s going on, and I mean right now.”

Dylan opened his mouth, but I spoke over him. “I’m in love with your daughter.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, not again,” Craig groaned.

“He can’t—­”

“No,” I cut Dylan off, and kept talking. “Whatever that asshole told you last night, don’t listen to him. Maci doesn’t want to be with him, I’ve seen the way he treats her, all he does is order her around and belittle her.”

“Like that’s much better than what you would do to her?” Dakota sneered.

“I won’t hurt Maci!” I yelled at him, and turned back to his dad. “I’ve been seeing your daughter all month. I know that’s not a long time, but I also know that there isn’t another girl for me out there.”

“Connor, I swear to God you better stop talking.”

“Dakota Price! Shut your mouth and let him talk!”

I looked over to Mrs. Price, and sent her a grateful smile.

“If you’re so in love with Maci, tell me why my little sister looks like she wants to die?” Craig asked before I could say anything else.

Mr. Price raised a graying eyebrow at me, and I shrugged lamely. “Because I listened to Dakota and Dylan when I shouldn’t have.”

“Wait.” Craig released Dakota and pointed at his brothers. “You both already knew about this and didn’t say anything?”

“He came to talk to us about their relationship the night before we came,” Dylan started, and his dad cut him off.

“What I’m not understanding is what I’m seeing right now. You three have been inseparable since you were kids, and now this?”

“They forced me to break up with Maci! Do you understand how much it killed me to do that, how much it killed me to have to lie to her so she would believe me, and then listen to her cry for the rest of the night? I feel like I’ve been suffocating ever since I left the goddamn bar after talking to you three!”

“Wait, three?”

“Sam was there,” I answered Craig.

“Why the fuck did everyone know except for me?”

“I hadn’t planned on Sam being there, I wanted to talk to Dakota and Dylan first.”

“Yeah,” Dylan started, “and we already told you our answer. You can’t date or marry Maci!”

“That’s not your fucking decision! You’re my best friend, but I never should have listened to you in the first place!”

“You know why we can’t let you be with her!” Dakota yelled back.

“Why can’t he be with her?” Mr. Price asked, the only calm male left in the room.

“Dakota, I swear to God I will die before I hurt your sister.”

“You don’t fucking know that!” He started toward me again, and Craig grabbed him to stop him.

“You told us—­”

“I know what I said, Dylan. But I will do everything to make sure I never hurt her!”

“You already have.”

All of the men froze, and some of the women gasped from where they’d been whispering to each other. Forcing myself to turn to the left, it took all my willpower not to run up to her and grab her in my arms.

“Maci,” I breathed. And when I saw her face covered in tears, I automatically started toward her, stopping when she held up a hand.

“Sam told me they made you do it, and for the record, I will not forgive either of you for that,” she looked at her brothers, and wiped at her face when she turned back to me. “But, Connor, you told me there was always a choice. You made yours.”

“Maci, no, you don’t understand. You have to let me explain.”

Sam bent down to whisper something in her ear, but she shook her head at him and spoke loud enough for us to hear. “I already told you, he let them tell him what to do.” Looking back up at me, my heart broke when she choked out, “That told me all I need to know. Just go home, Connor.”