Devon Hartford - Painless

The only thing I could do was look as innocent as possible. I’d buy some concealer the second I stepped out of this courtroom. No more bullshitting around. From here on out, I was Mr. Clean, I was a Boy Scout. I helped old ladies across the street. Maybe I could squeeze some charity work in between now and Friday. Maybe Mrs. Elders at the library could arrange for a last minute Crayons with Christos session in front of Judge Moody during my trial. Fuck, who was I fooling? The time to be a Goody Two Shoed Samaritan had passed.

Russell whispered, “I think Geraldine might be sweet on you, young man. Perhaps you can slip her your phone number and make dinner plans. Sweeten her up before your trial.”

I rolled my eyes and suppressed a chuckle. “Yeah, right.”

“We are now on record for the State vs. Manos,” the judge intoned gravely, “case number SD-2013-K-071183A. Counsel, please announce your appearances for the record.”

“George Schlosser, on behalf of the state of California.”

“Stanley Whitehead, on behalf of the state,” Schlosser’s assistant said. Stanley flung me a scoffing glance like I’d stolen his milk money one too many times in grade school. I’d like to pop his whitehead with a pin and shove a gallon of benzoyl peroxide down his throat.

“Natalia Valenzuela, on behalf of the state,” Schlosser’s other assistant said with a fluid hispanic accent. I hoped Natalia was as kind hearted as she looked. For all I knew, it was just an act to make people forget to take her seriously. She worked for the D.A.’s office after all, not as a nun or a nurse.

“Russell Merriweather, on behalf of Mr. Manos.”

The judge shuffled papers and files on the desk in front of her, setting everything in order. When she was finished, she folded her hands on the desk in front of her. “Thank you, counselors. We have a number of motions to work through. I suggest we begin with the State. Mr. Schlosser?”

George Schlosser stepped up to the podium between the prosecution table and the defense table and said, “Mr. Manos is identified through witness statements and descriptions as the perpetrator in the assault and battery in question.”

Schlosser then proceeded to dive into a litany of evidentiary motions. In other words, Schlosser told the judge all the things he was going to do at my trial to prove I was the bad guy, that I had swung first at poor old Horst Grossman for no good reason.

It was all uncomfortably familiar.

How many times had I sat behind the defense table for similar reasons? I’d lost count. In the past, I’d never cared. But I hadn’t had much to care about. Now things were different.

Now I had Samantha to worry about. Seeing her flourish and find success in life was my number one priority.

I grit my teeth. I couldn’t wait for this shit to be over.

When Schlosser finished sketching out what the State would argue on Friday at my trial, he returned to his seat and Russell took over the podium.

The entire time Russell spoke, Schlosser watched him closely, taking notes and periodically whispering to his assistants. I knew Schlosser was strategizing, looking for any weakness in Russell’s case that he could exploit during my trial. For the most part, nothing was whetting Schlosser’s carnivorous appetite. He almost looked bored. Russell Merriweather ran a tight ship, and I knew he’d worked up a solid case for my claim of self defense. The real action wouldn’t really start until Friday.

“Will you be calling any other witnesses at trial, Mr. Merriweather?” Judge Moody asked, her eyes on her desk while she jotted down a note on some paperwork.

Before Your Love by Kelly Clarkson began playing from my suit jacket. It wasn’t very loud, but in the crypt quiet courtroom, it sounded like a primo sound system at full blast. Shit. I thought I’d turned the ringer off before coming into court. I must’ve done it wrong. I fumbled with my jacket, trying to shut the phone off through the material. No good. I had to pull it out.

The judge cannoned a hard glare at me. “Do we have a problem, Mr. Manos?”

“No, I, uh,” I mumbled as I fished my phone out of my suit.

“Perhaps we can reconvene when it’s more convenient for you, Mr. Manos?” the judge asked sarcastically. I wasn’t scoring any points with her today.

Schlosser and his team shared a chuckle at my expense.

Finally, I dug the phone out and shut it off, but not before noticing who had called. Samantha. Why the fuck would she be calling me now? Whatever it was, it could wait. I made sure the ringer was off and stuffed the phone back in my suit.

“Are you finished?” Judge Moody asked.

“Yeah, sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“I should hope not, Mr. Manos. For your sake.”

Fucking great. Nothing like a bad first impression. In this case, it was more like a bad first, second, and third impression.

“As I was saying,” the judge fired a final glare at me, “before we were so rudely interrupted,” then she turned to Russell, “Mr. Merriweather, do you intend to call any other witnesses at trial?”

Russell flicked me a pointed glance. Just loud enough for me to hear, he said, “We gonna do this?”

My phone jumped in my pocket and vibrated once. I almost flinched, but managed to hold my shit together. I could tell from the vibration pattern that it was a text coming in. I ignored it.

I nodded at Russell.

He turned to the judge, and in a confident voice said, “Yes, your honor. I will also be calling Mr. Manos to testify on his own behalf.”

A hush fell over the courtroom.

The three D.A.s looked like a pack of hyenas whose ears had pricked up and noses had twitched the moment they’d caught scent of a wounded wildebeest limping by. Schlosser dug his fingers into the armrests of his chair. He was practically climbing out of it. The greedy smile on Stanley Whitehead’s face had curled into a twist. I was just waiting for his tongue to snake out and hungrily lick his lips. Kind hearted Natalia Valenzuela’s cheeks had reddened as if she was suddenly turned on. Yeah, her earlier demeanor had been nothing but a front. She got off on desperation. I could feel it. These three had smelled my blood and were thirsty for a drink.

So what? Fuck ‘em. I wasn’t a wounded wildebeest. I was always ready for a fight. Because you knew the second the badass male lion came bounding out of the bush with his big mane on display, those hyenas scattered like ants in a sandstorm.

Too bad I wasn’t allowed to throw punches and elbows in court. Not by law, anyway. But Russell could. In the courtroom, he was a bigger lion than I was.

He was going to eat those D.A. fuckers for lunch.

Somebody hand me a knife and fork.

SAMANTHA

After lunch, I went to the Main Library to study. No matter how many times I called or texted Christos, he never answered. I tried to concentrate on my Sociology and History reading, but it was tough going. I was too worried about Christos.

Eventually I gave up on homework and packed up my books and laptop. On my way to the north parking lot where I’d parked, I texted Christos one final time.

Meet me at ur place 4 dinner?

When I reached my VW, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was right where I’d left it, seemingly intact. I’d sort of expected to find it either gone, somehow towed away by Tiffany Shitstain-Hateface, or perhaps a mangled heap. I wouldn’t put it past Tiffany to hire some guy to drive a bulldozer over it.

I strolled around my car, looking for any fresh key gouges or slashed tires. Nothing. Somehow, I imagined Tiffany was simply biding her time. Waiting for the most opportune moment to strike.