J. Cooper: Everlasting Sin

“But I don’t know what to do.”

“That’s what I’m teaching you.” He grinned.

“Okay.” I took a deep breath and slowly leaned towards him.

I stopped right before my lips touched his, and I could see the humor in his eyes. I gently pressed my lips against his and waited to see what was going to happen next. Hudson just lay there for a second and I didn’t know what to do, but then he leaned towards me and grabbed my hair, pushing my face into his. I felt his lips crushing down on mine and kissed him back, trying to mimic the movement of his lips. I reached my hands up to his hair and stared into his eyes. Hudson’s lips crushed into mine, and I felt the tip of his tongue touching my lips.

I sprang back then and gasped. “What are you doing?” I questioned him with wide eyes.

“Teaching you how to kiss.”

“But you used your tongue.”

“It’s called a French kiss, Riley.”

“But we’re not in France,” I mumbled, feeling stupid. I knew my face was burning a deep shade of red, and I could see that he was laughing at me from the sparkle in his eyes.

“You can’t tell me you’ve never heard of a French kiss before.” There was shock in his eyes and he laughed slightly.

“You’re a jerk.” I pushed his shoulder hard.

“No.” He grabbed my hand. “I’m your teacher.” He leaned towards me again and brought my face towards his. “Close your eyes and do what you think is right.”

“What I think—”

Hudson’s lips interrupted my speech and I closed my eyes, trying to let my body and not my brain guide me. His lips were soft at first, and I felt myself kissing him back gently, but then his fingers ran through my hair and he pulled my face closer to him. His tongue deftly slipped into my mouth, and I slowly pushed my tongue into his mouth, enjoying the unexpected warm feelings that were coursing through me.

His tongue met mine, and I allowed my tongue to touch his. It tasted and felt funny, and I pulled away a little bit. Hudson pulled my face back towards him, and I allowed his tongue to enter my mouth again. This time, his tongue was rougher as it explored my mouth as if looking for cavities. My eyes popped open as he ran his hands down my side and rolled me into my back.

His eyes looked down at me with an unfamiliar emotion, and I felt his body crushing down onto mine. I gazed up at him and ran my hands down his back, not knowing what to do. I shifted on the bed beneath him and suddenly he froze and jumped off of the bed.

“Okay, great. I think you get the idea.” He walked back to his computer and sat down at his desk without looking at me.

“Oh, okay.” I sat up, feeling confused and stared at his back. “Is everything okay, Hudson?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine.” His voice sounded gruff, and I swallowed hard.

What had happened? Was I such a bad kisser that he was disgusted by me?

“I’m going to leave now.”

“Fine,” he mumbled and clicked the keys on his laptop.

“Thanks,” I whispered, standing at his door.

I gently rubbed my lips, not really believing what had just happened. Had I really just kissed Hudson? My heart was singing with joy, even though my brain was upset and confused.

“No worries,” he mumbled and sighed, but then he turned around and smiled. “There’s nothing to be worried about, Riley. You’re a good kisser.” He stared at me for a few moments and then continued. “If you were older, I’d be teaching you even more.”

“Even more what?” I frowned and stared into his hazel eyes.

“You’ll figure it out one day.” He shook his head and ran his hand through his silky hair. “Now scoot. I’ve got things to do.”

I walked out of his room with a huge smile on my face, even though I’d just been dismissed. He had enjoyed kissing me, I was sure of that. Maybe one day, we’d be kissing for real.

I stopped in the hallway, rested my head against the wall, and closed my eyes. It was now hitting me. I had just kissed Hudson Blake. The boy of my dreams, even though no one else knew that.

Hudson

Five Years Ago

“Hudson, let’s go to the Sigma Kappa party tonight.” Luke stood at the door to my dorm with wide, eager eyes.

“I have a test tomorrow.” I shook my head.

“Dude, there are going to be lots of hot girls. We might even get laid.” He grinned and walked into the room. “Plus, think of all the times in high school you convinced me to play video games when I had a test the next day.”

“Dude, that was on you. I didn’t make you do anything.” I grinned back at him and he shook his head.

“Come on, Hudson.” He sat on my bed and I pushed him off. “Don’t you want to get some?”

“Not really.” I shook my head and looked down. There was only one girl who set my heart on fire.

“Come on! The girls are hot. You know sorority girls. They love to give it up easy.”

“I don’t want a girl who gives it up easy.”

“Dude, just come for me then. And at least you can tell Eden and Riley that they shouldn’t join sororities when they go to college because you know firsthand how slutty the girls are.”

“I’m not going to tell my sister and her best friend that sorority girls are slutty.” I gave him a look and he laughed.

“Dude, it’s going to be epic. What are you doing? You’re ruining the college experience for us.”

“I’m not,” I lied. I knew I was.

I hadn’t really been to any parties since we’d started college. Sure, I’d been to a few and had a few hookups here and there, but nothing special. I hadn’t met any girls who’d touched me in any sort of way. But I couldn’t tell Luke why. He’d laugh if he knew I had a crush on Riley.

She was supposed to be like my little sister, but I couldn’t stop myself from feeling more for her. I think the day I taught her to kiss was the catalyst of my affections. Her response had been so sweet, yet so primal. I’d been ashamed of myself for feeling something for her. Something that was far from innocent.

“Whatever.” Luke walked to the door in a huff. “Live your life like some monk. See where that gets you.” He stopped at the door and turned towards me before he left. “I thought this was going to be the time of our lives, but frankly, you’re making it really shitty. Some best friend you are.”

There were a million responses I could have come back with. The one on the tip of my tongue was something along the lines of, “Then get some more friends and stop harassing me.” But I knew I couldn’t say that. For all his bravado, Luke was very sensitive and emotional. So I replied in the only way I knew how. “Fine, I’ll be ready at eight, but I’m not staying out late.”

“Don’t worry about it, dude.” He grinned in pure joy at me. “I’m sure I’ll be in some back bedroom by nine, so you can leave then.”

“Uh huh. Are you sure you want to sleep in someone else’s house?”

“Asshole. I won’t be sleeping. I’ll be doing that slow grind.”

I laughed as he started moving his arms and hips and covered my eyes. “Please, that is not an image I want to be seeing right now.”

“I’ll see you later.” He laughed as he left the room, and I jumped up and grabbed my book bag to head to the library.

I knew I still had to study for the test or I was going to fail. I grabbed my books and my laptop and quickly put them in my bag. I was about to leave the room, but instead I went back and pulled up my pillow.

There was a photo of Riley at the beach, and I stared at it for a few seconds before touching my finger to my lips and then to the photo. I put the photo down and covered it gently with my pillow before I walked out of the dorm. I sighed as I walked to the library.