Hilary Fields - Bliss

Asher turned toward what Sera figured was his bedroom. “I’ll just go grab a blanket then, if you’ll carry the coffees?” Was it her imagination, or did he seem a tad edgy, too? He was back, carrying a fluffy white comforter under one arm, before Sera could consider the ramifications of that question too closely.

Sascha and Silver preceded them out, tails wagging as they disappeared into the gloom. True night had fallen while they ate their simple meal, Sera saw. As her eyes adjusted, she noticed a two-person glider tucked away at the back of the patio. She saw two side tables, one on either end of the glider, and carefully set their coffee cups down. Gingerly, Sera set herself down on the padded cushion, as far toward her end as she could manage. She didn’t want to presume anything. Silver pawed at her leg through her jeans, whining until she helped him up into her lap. The puppy provided a welcome distraction, and Sera petted his soft fur gratefully until he grumbled with pleasure and rolled himself into a contented ball, tiny head resting on comically big paws.

Asher folded himself down next to her with seemingly no thought for her personal space, his big, loose-limbed frame warming the length of hers even before he spread the puffy down coverlet over both their laps (and Silver, who had instantly fallen asleep on Sera’s). Sascha rounded out the tableau by flopping down on the bricks at her master’s feet, her thick coat providing all the warmth she needed to combat the October chill.

This must be what family feels like, Sera marveled. She hadn’t truly had one since her parents had died, so many years ago. Pauline had done her best, and her best was damn good, but Sera had always felt something was missing. A wholeness, a sense of completion. Now, her heart felt full, though her belly felt like a meadow full of butterflies had taken up residence. Alarmed at the fanciful direction her thoughts were taking, she took a sip of the coffee Asher had made, breathing steam out into the brisk night air. He was right—the coffee was delicious. And as promised, the stars were shining fiercely in the achingly clear sky, blazing down like pinpoints of celestial mystery. But Sera barely saw them. There was a terrestrial mystery stealing all of her attention. A mystery she desperately wanted to solve.

Who was Asher Wolf, deep down at the heart of him? Was he someone who could…

Who could what, Sera? her inner voice asked caustically. Overlook your shortcomings? Love you?

“It’s definitely cold tonight,” Sera remarked, plucking at the blanket to cover herself a bit more. “Wonder if we’ll have snow in time for Halloween next week.” She winced, embarrassed at being reduced to talking about the weather. Asher smiled gently, as if he sensed her discomfort, and tucked the blanket more securely around both of them. He left one arm across the back of the glider after he finished, nearly touching her shoulders but not quite. With his other hand, he placed his own coffee down on his side table after a single sip. Inside the cozy down nest, heat began to blossom, suffusing Sera and evidently overwhelming Silver, who burrowed his way out of the covers until he plopped out at her feet. Yawning, he trundled over to curl up next to his mother.

Asher set the glider going with a push of one foot.

Sera finished her coffee in three quick gulps, setting the mug down rather too hard on her own side table. “Sorry.” She winced at the clatter.

“It’s all right, Bliss,” he said. “I’m nervous, too.”

“That’s the second time you’ve said that tonight,” Sera blurted out. “What do you have to be nervous about?”

He slanted her a sidelong look, those green eyes of his almost black in the darkness. He ran a hand through his short hair, then laid it back across the glider, this time touching her shoulders—deliberately, she thought.

“Bliss,” he said gently. “Do you know you are the first woman I’ve invited to my home here in Santa Fe? Since I moved here four years ago—since my life fell apart back in Tel Aviv—I’ve been content to move slowly, collecting myself, letting this place heal me and my needs make themselves known to me in their own time. At first, I simply needed everything to be different, to remind me of nothing from the past, so I built myself a new business, honed a craft I’d only ever practiced as a hobby before. Nothing truly touched me, except my memories—both good and bad. I drifted in this beautiful dream of a city. For a long time, it was enough, and eventually my heart became quiet. But now those needs… they’re awakening.” He leaned closer, impressing her with his earnestness. “What I mean to say, Bliss, is that you are awakening them.”

Sera’s heart was suddenly thrumming like a hummingbird’s wings. She sensed he was about to open up in a big way, and that perhaps he’d spent a lot more of his time focused on her than she’d ever imagined. Could she handle what he had to say? His hand was gently stroking her hair, toying with the lock at the front that never behaved itself, fingers skimming her cheek. Sera trembled, hardly daring to breathe.

Asher spoke softly, but with conviction. “What I’m talking about, Bliss, is the need to know another person… to hear her, and understand what drives her. The need to see her grow and challenge herself—even if it is sometimes in ways that make her uncomfortable.”

For an unhappy moment, Sera wondered if he were just speaking generically, but what he said next dispelled any question—Asher meant her.

“I need to watch her dance with abandon when she thinks she’s alone—and to hold her close while we dance together under the Fiesta lights. To watch her blush—far too often—at every little thing.” He smiled, stroking Sera’s cheek as if to note how flushed it was even now. “To watch how she gives love to those who are important to her, and witness her kindness when she offers others a new start. To see her smile”—he traced her lips with one featherlight finger—“and to know that, just maybe, I had something to do with that smile…”

Sera trembled, and tears threatened to overflow her lashes.

“Asher…”

“I find myself with the most powerful need to taste the confections that come from her kitchen, and to see her master a monstrously big truck. And most of all, I have the need to do this… ”

This time, the kiss was not on her forehead.

It captured her lips, hot and urgent, but what it stole was Sera’s soul. The feeling was like a sob, a deep, ache-from-the-bottom-of-your-guts sob, only it was good, so good, both desire and admiration intermingled. The desire was for his body— and how —but the admiration was for his personhood, in some intangible way.

She couldn’t help but respond. Overwhelmed, afraid, and dizzily flattered, Sera once again felt her wits skip town under the influence of Asher’s kiss. But for once in her life, her body seemed to know just how to respond. As their lips and tongues tasted and tested one another in the cold, clear night, she was overcome by the essence of Asher. It was all-encompassing. Like a drug, like the drink she’d given up, she longed for more of this man. He was so immensely promising, so tempting in the most primitive way…

Never in her life had Sera felt such a surge of straight-up passion. It flooded her loins and quickened her breath until she was dizzy with it. All she could think was more. Give me more, and more, and more again. She moaned, and his mouth took hers more deeply. She tasted coffee, fresh and deep, and man… and longing. Unbelievable longing, both hers and his.

It was that longing that stopped her.

Sera ripped herself from Asher’s embrace, leaping to her feet and nearly tripping over the comforter in her haste to get away. Silver yipped sleepily as she lunged over him and Sascha, scrambling to achieve some distance.