Jillian Dodd: Hate Me

“So he was mad. Then what did he do?”

“Left his office and had dinner with two of his investors. Trying to hang onto his company.”

“We need to plan what we’re going to do next. I’d like to go back next Thursday but with filming, I can’t.”

“I think the company takeover stuff is enough for now. Your mom’s movie is still getting a ton of buzz. So, you’re going to the dance tonight, then going to a hotel with Aiden, then going to your loft on Sunday morning?”

“Yeah, he’s staying with me until the twenty-third, then leaving for St. Croix with his family.”

“And what are you going to do after that?”

“Stay at my loft. Everyone thinks I’m going home. I won’t go out, so don’t worry about me.”

“It’s my job to worry about you. What if you came home with me for Christmas? My parents would love it.”

“Really, Cooper?” I blink away tears.

“Yes, really. I don’t want you to be alone and I know you can’t go home.”

“That would be nice. I’ll get to see Tommy but it just isn’t going to be the same.”

“I know. Have fun at the dance tonight.”

“Have fun chaperoning.”

He rolls his eyes at me. “Yeah, right.”

Follow my script.

6pm

I’m getting ready for Winter Formal.

Curling my hair and then twisting it into a side braid that will show off my dress. Putting makeup on. Touching up my pedicure. Painting my nails.

My dress and shoes are already loaded into my Range Rover.

Aiden and I caravan to the boutique hotel where we’re spending the night, so we can drop off all our bags. After the dance, school is officially out for break.

And, since we have quite a few bags, we decide to get dressed at the hotel.

He holds my hand as we enter our beautifully perfect suite, our heels clicking on the worn oak floors. Center stage sits a modern black four-poster bed dressed in a fluffy comforter and pillows. The linens are all white except for a golden throw draped at the end of the bed. There’s a huge fireplace stacked with wood just waiting to light the room with a golden glow. A thick, white, fluffy rug that’s dying to be curled up on. A chaise to lie on. Champagne waiting to be chilled. The bathroom features golden marble, a modern free-standing tub, and a jetted shower.

As I look at each element of the room, I’m envisioning all the places we’re going to do it.

Tonight is finally the night.

And even though I wrote my script to tell him right when we get back to the room, part of me wants to wait until after.

The chicken part of me.

But my heart knows that I need to follow my script. Tell him the truth before I commit to him in that way. I don’t want there to be any lies between us when it finally happens.

I’m just worried that he won’t follow my script.

That he won’t understand.

But you have to trust the people that you love.

So I gaze again at the beautiful surroundings, wiping the negative thoughts from my mind and letting warmth fill my heart.

Knowing that things are going to be perfect.

I make Aiden get dressed in the bathroom while I put on my dress and shoes in the bedroom.

He yells, “You ready yet?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

He walks out of the bathroom wearing a classic black Gucci tuxedo.

Just think, Keatyn, you get to undress him tonight.

My perfect boy.

I’m wearing a pretty Catherine Deane strapless, silk-organza gown. The gown’s sweetheart neckline features polished metal beads, appliqués, and picot-edged overlays. I feel like a winter fairy. Soft and flowy, with just a little sparkle.

Aiden says, “You look stunning.”

“You look pretty stunning yourself. Love the tux.”

I pull up the skirt of my dress and show off my deep gray Nicholas Kirkwood suede pumps that are covered in pale multi-colored swirls of crystal.

“You were right,” he says. “Those are the perfect shoes for the dress. You ready to go?’

“Not really,” I say. “I want to go, but I kind of wish we could just stay here.”

He kisses me and says, “We’ll leave early.”

“Deal.”

We have fun dancing with our friends.

Sneaking into the bathroom for sips of whiskey.

Mostly, I have fun being close to Aiden.

Having him whisper to me how it drives him nuts when I grind on him. The husky, desire-filled sound in his voice.

The way he smells.

The way he looks.

The way my dress floats around me like a dream when he twirls me.

Around us, other people are dancing, but it feels like the room, the dance floor, the whole night, was made just for us.

When we take a break, I decide to give Riley his final present.

He picks me up and hugs me when he opens a high definition video camera. The kind he could actually shoot a real movie with.

“You’re my new best friend,” he says.

“I’ve always been your best friend,” I tease.

“Naw, it was Dallas, but between him defiling my rug and your gifts, you win.”

I hug him back. “Be nice. And, for the record, I’m going to miss you.”

“We’ll only be apart for about a week. Besides, I’m not up for being nice. Tonight is all about being naughty. Did you find out who your Santa is?”

“No, I thought it was you. And I haven’t kept track of who has revealed theirs already.”

“I think some people are waiting until later. Bryce said he’s having a party in their hotel room. Doesn’t he want to be alone with Katie?”

“I think they’ve been alone about every night this week.”

Riley laughs. “I’m not going to party. Are you?”

“No. Did Aiden tell you about our suite?”

“Yes, we’re staying at the hotel, too. Thought we’d meet up for lunch before we leave, so we could talk more about this video for Damian.”

“That sounds perfect.”

There’s a break in the dancing as the house Sweethearts are announced.

Hawthorne is the last to go.

Aiden whispers, “I think it’s going to be you.”

Jake, who is now onstage, announces my name, and calls me up.

I receive a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a little tiara that says Sweetheart.

The music starts back up again.

I’m so ready to leave now. To get to our room.

It’s been a perfectly scripted night.

Lots of slow dancing.

A gorgeous dress that swirls around my body like a snowflake.

The date of my dreams.

Everything is perfect.

Even though my life is so far from it.

I’m tempted not to stay for the Social Committee presentation. Whitney’s doing it all. No one would miss me.

Aiden pulls me into his arms as a slow song plays.

I’m seriously considering dragging his ass out of here this second, telling him the truth, and then making mad, passionate, amazing love all night long.

And although that’s how I scripted it, I will admit, I’m still debating about doing it, like, once—or maybe twice—before I tell him. So that if I was completely wrong and he hates me for lying to him, at least I’ll have experienced the Titan and won’t spend the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like between us.

His arms are wrapped tightly around my waist, and he keeps kissing the side of my face as we dance.

He says quietly, “I think we should start in front of the fireplace on that soft rug, then move to the chaise.”

“I noticed the bench at the end of the bed too,” I whisper.

“And the jetted shower, the tub. Eventually, maybe the bed too.” He lets out an adorable sexy chuckle. “I have something I need to tell you first,” he says.

“What’s that?”

He leans back and pulls a long white feather out of his jacket and holds it in front of me. There’s a little hot pink ribbon curling off of it, just like there has been on all my other gifts.