Ella Dominguez - Becoming Sir

When she disappeared into the restroom, Kerian sat mutely solemn, picking at an imaginary loose thread on his tie.

Seeing the sadness in all their eyes, Sawyer couldn’t help but ask, “Kerian, why not just add Ciara to your family and ask her to be your slave indefinitely?”

When he looked up, a fierce yearning shone brightly in his middle-aged eyes. “Because it’s not my place as her trainer to make a selfish offer like that. She’s undergone a life-changing transformation and become attached to Julie and me. It’s to be expected. She is a true slave at heart and she would never deny her Master, but I do not want her to fear the unknown or to stay out of some sense of obligation. Do I want her to remain under my protection and to live with us? Absolutely, but I cannot take that which is not mine to take.”

He turned his face away to hide his hurt but Sawyer could feel it thick in the air all around them. Now he knew why Sarah would never offer herself to him and why their union could never be. He dropped his head, too, both the resilient Doms silently dealing with their sorrow the only way they knew how. At that moment he made his decision. Knowing that Sarah would never offer herself to him and regardless of how he felt about her, he would offer his Mastery to Ciara once their training was over. That is, if she still wanted anything to do with him after the impending scene that was looming in the very near future.

Lying in bed with Ciara before dinner, he rubbed circles on her back as they spoke of things to come. She knew a final test was being planned but not the details. Her anxiousness was bubbling over and he did his best to soothe her.

“It will all work out, Angel,” he told her as she rested her head on his chest. “You’re a very special woman, Ciara.”

She tipped her head up to look at him and smiled, and it was hard to miss the look of optimism in her eyes. He wondered what she was thinking and if it was him that she wanted for a lifelong Master. Or perhaps someone else. She had been exposed to many men over her six months of training and surely there were others who were vying for her slavery. They’d be dense not to.

“I don’t think you fully know the power you have over men.”

“Nor do you realize the power you have over women.”

“Oh, I know,” he narrowed his eyes mysteriously.

“You’re coming into your Dominant skin, Sawyer Morrison, and your confidence has grown exponentially in the short time you’ve been away from me. You must have one amazing trainer.”

Sarah. His heart clenched. “Yes, she is, just as your trainers are. We’ve been very lucky to have been placed in their knowing hands.”

The same sadness that was in Ciara’s eyes at the restaurant filled her eyes again. “Yes. I can’t imagine my life away from Master K and Mistress J. I’ll be lost without them.”

“No, you won’t. You’ll walk a new path, with a new Master.”

She looked at him doubtfully but managed a smile. “I can only hope.”

During dinner, the conversation focused on Ciara’s training and everything she had been taught. It was intriguing. She was not only instructed on how to speak, act and think in ways that were pleasing, but endured total power exchange. When he heard about the behavior modification sessions she had been put through, he had new-found respect for her. He couldn’t imagine having to be put through such strict and sometimes harsh tests of one’s will.

He quickly felt information overload when he heard of the stringent rules that she adhered to and he wondered if he could live up to the task of being her Master. He suddenly looked at Kerian in a whole new light and was in awe of his skill and patience.

When he learned that Ciara had also been submitted to aversion training that included spanking, cropping, and clamping to ‘encourage’ her compliance, he felt heartsick. There was no way he was going to do those things to her except for pleasure. He could barely stomach the spanking he had to give Sarah, for fuck’s sake. He was no sadist and he needed to make that clear.

When the conversation paused, he asked his question. “Are you a masochist, Ciara?”

The question seemed to surprise everyone at the table but she answered without hesitation.

“No, Master.”

He relaxed, but another question lingered. “Then how does doing all those things mentioned work effectively for someone who is a masochist?”

Ciara looked to Kerian who responded. “If the slave being trained enjoys pain, punishment may need to be in the form of psychological or emotional in order to create the unpleasant effects that punishment necessitates.”

So in addition to doling out pain as punishment, he had to consider how to mentally punish his would be submissive or slave? He rubbed his palm over his face and tipped his chair back on two legs. What a daunting thought. Ciara sat staring at him with an acute sense of disappointment in her eyes, and he touched her arm to ease her anxiety.

“No worries; I’m no sadist, Angel.”

She bowed her head and acted as if she was embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to… what I mean is… even if you were, it wouldn’t be my place to judge you. I would accept you no matter what your preferences are.”

Kerian quickly chimed in. “Precious, your heart and attitude are in the right place, but you cannot accept a Master who you will not be compatible with. You are no masochist and you are not expected to be. Don’t you ever allow a man to try and change the perfect slave that you are or to change that which is in your heart,” he stated firmly, pounding a fist on the table.

It was easy to read Kerian’s emotions as they played on his face. He would accept nothing less than the perfect Master for his precious Ciara.

“Back me up, Sawyer,” he barked, catching him off guard and making him almost tip backwards in the tilted chair. He brought the chair down onto all four legs and cleared his throat.

“Absolutely, Ciara. Nothing and no one can change what is in your heart, no matter how much you think you may want that person, or want to be wanted by them.”

Dylan and Isabel popped into his head unexpectedly. His sadistic needs to her masochistic wants; did they even know how lucky they were to find each other? It certainly wasn’t lost on Sawyer how fortunate he was that Ciara didn’t crave pain. What if she had been a masochist? He didn’t want to think about that.

Shit. What if Sarah had been? How would his training have gone then? Come to think of it, Isabel and Dylan probably wouldn’t have chosen her to train him if she had been. This was all too much to think about. Again, he rubbed his hand over his face and sighed deeply. He was brought back by Kerian’s deep and mocking laugh.

“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?”

“If ever there was an understatement – that was it.”

While Ciara showered, Sawyer’s phone alarm beeped, notifying him of his 9:00 p.m. appointment. He smiled and reached for it, but his joy quickly faded when he remembered that Sarah wouldn’t be at the other end of town thinking of him while she played with herself. He touched the screen anyway and brought up her image. Those eyes… my God. The way they were staring at him in the photograph… the same way she looked at him when she was waiting for his command. And how they sparkled when she came. Or the way they got all sleepy and needy looking while she sucked him off. He swallowed hard and powered down his phone.

Ciara. It was about her this weekend, not Sarah and her beautiful blue eyes. Just then Ciara came out wrapped in only a towel, all wet hair and big, brown, lusty eyes. And submissive as fuck.