Susane Colasanti - Now and Forever

“I hate that people think I’d do or say anything mean. Listen to this one. ‘I heard S takes pictures of fans at E’s shows and talks smack about them after.’ Where are they getting this stuff?”

“It’s not like you’re telling them they’re wrong.”

“You know I can’t do that. But you could.”

“Zeke says it’s better to stay out of it.”

“Do you seriously think it’s better to let your fans harass me? All I can do is sit back and watch these skanky fangirls crucify me and it’s supposed to be okay?”

Ethan bristles. “Without my fans, I’d be nothing. Why do you always have to attack them? Why can’t you be more supportive?”

“After the way they’ve been treating me?”

“They who? Three people?”

“It’s more than three people!”

“No, it just seems that way because you’re obsessed with the negative comments. If I cared about all the negative comments I got, I’d hide under a rock and never come out. You have to brush the haters off.”

“It’s hard to brush the haters off when they’re basically forming a club to break us up.”

“They would never do that. They respect that we’re together.”

“You don’t think these girls would love to hear we broke up?”

“No.”

“Ethan. Every single one of them wants to get with you. If I were out of the picture, they’d feel like they had a chance.”

“You make them sound so superficial. Did it ever occur to you that some of them are actually into my music?”

“A lot of people are into your music. You’re the only hot artist whose fans range from third graders to grandmas. But a lot of these teen girls are in love with you.”

“Which is a bad thing because . . . ?”

“They’re irrational. They don’t want you to have a girlfriend. They want the possibility of you being their boyfriend. These girls would do anything to be with you. Even if it means tormenting me to get us to break up.”

Ethan comes over and leans against the pillows next to me. “That will never happen,” he assures me.

“How do you know?”

“Because I love you. I want to be with you. You want to be with me, right?”

“Of course. But it’s not that simple.”

“Yeah it is. You were there for me from the start. You loved me before anyone knew who I was. That’s how I know you love me for me. That proves how loyal you are to me. How much more simple could it be?”

Ethan puts his arm around me, pulling me close. I press my cheek against his chest. His shirt is soft. I breathe in the summertime scent of the fabric softener his mom uses.

“We can be together forever,” he says.

I want to believe him. I want to believe that what we have will never change. Now and forever.

[16,529,802 FOLLOWERS]

“Ethan! I love you, Ethaaaan !” Girl yelling.

“Take it off!” Someone’s mom yelling.

“Go one-on-one with me, Ethan!” Boy yelling.

The yelling is directed at tall gates separating a throng of fans from a private parking lot. The parking lot gives performers and staff access to the venue where Ethan has his Philly show tonight. There are a few cracks in the gate where fans are trying to peek in and yell things at Ethan, who is playing basketball with the band. The basketball hoop Ethan travels with has been set up outside his tour bus.

When the guys first started playing, I was watching them from their side of the gate. Then the gate slowly swung open to let a truck leave. Ethan and the band shooting hoops were revealed. Some fans who were walking from one of the parking lots saw Ethan. They started screaming. Security stopped them from running in. The truck left and the gate swung closed again. Naturally the fans who saw Ethan stayed to freak out. More people coming in from the parking lot caught on to what was happening. Now there’s a huge crowd. I went out through a back gate to the public parking lots and came around to the crowd’s side. No one’s noticing me in my huge sunglasses beyond the edge of the crowd.

“Ethan! I love you, Ethaaaan !”

One of the fans nearest to the gate catches a glimpse of Ethan bouncing his basketball close to her. She freaks out. “Oh my god he’s right there! He’s right there !”

A scary security guard is keeping fans a few feet from the gate. There’s a green line painted on the pavement. She keeps reminding everyone to stay behind the green line.

A girl in the back of the crowd digs her way to the front. She scrutinizes the scary security guard. When the security guard is looking the other way, the girl takes a tentative step over the green line. Scary Security Guard is on the girl in a flash.

“Do not test me today!” SSG booms. “If you do not step back, you will be dealing with an angrier version of me. You do not want to be dealing with an angrier version of me.”

A few girls in front of me have become instant friends. It’s awesome how intense experiences like this can bond you for life. They’re bragging about how early they got to the Today show to stand outside and get a chance to see Ethan before he went in.

“I got there three hours early,” says a girl with a pink streak in her hair.

“I got there four hours early,” tops a girl with a Strand bag.

“How close were you?”

“This close.” She pulls out her phone and shows off a picture with Ethan.

“Did Ethan take that?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god he touched your phone ?”

Strand Bag smiles smugly.

A girl wearing two mati necklaces whips out a CD.

“What is that?” Pink Streak asks.

“A bootleg. Some acoustic stuff Ethan recorded like two years ago.”

Scenarios like this are common at Ethan’s shows. Some superfan throws down authority when anyone else dares to suggest they have a stronger connection to Ethan. Showing off swag is their way of arguing over who’s the number one fan.

“Where did you get it?” Strand Bag demands.

“A used CD place on South Street.”

“I’m going to have Ethan sign this again.” Pink Streak shows a signed 8-by-10 glossy of Ethan.

“You already met him?” Mati Necklaces freaks.

“No, I won it through his fan club,” Pink Streak says.

“You whore ,” Strand Bag seethes.

The gate pops open a few inches. A truck is positioned to drive out.

The crowd goes ballistic.

“Step back!” Scary Security Guard yells.

No one steps back.

“Back behind the green line! Step. BACK. ” Scary Security Guard’s tone has taken on a primal edge.

Everyone steps back.

The gate slowly swings open. The throng of fans restrains itself from stomping over Scary Security Guard and four more security guards lining the other side of the gate in a stampede of passion.

Because there he is. Ethan Cross. Playing basketball in his board shorts and his T-shirt with the old-school speakers that says MUSICIAN for everyone to see.

“I love you, Ethaaaaaaan !!!”

“Yo, let me play wit you, E!”

“ I am burning with desire. This will be our night on fi-YAH!”

I go around to the back gate. Ethan doesn’t see me when I pass by and open the stage door. He doesn’t know that Damien’s waiting for me backstage.

[16,627,481 FOLLOWERS]

A reporter from The New York Times Magazine has been following Ethan around since Philly. The reporter is doing a huge cover story on Ethan. He told me that he’s most interested in identifying what it is about Ethan and his music that appeals to such a wide audience. I get the feeling he’s hoping to discover a secret formula for monumental success.