Tara Sivec: Shame on Me

“You think your wife is cheating on you?” I whisper.

This is too weird. Even for me.

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this. I barely know you and I feel like a jackass for unloading all of this on you right now. You’re a really easy person to talk to.”

He feels like a jackass? I feel like a jackass. I should just tell him right now that his wife hired me to find out if he is cheating, but I can’t. I can’t do anything until I know for sure.

“We haven’t been happy for a really long time. Fuck. We were probably never really happy. A friend of mine told me she was going to be here and I guess I was just hoping to finally have a solid reason for not wanting to be married to her,” he admits.

Jesus, the two of us could be a match made in heaven under different circumstances. Finding out Andy had a gambling problem had been just the catalyst I needed to kick his ass to the curb.

“What are you going to do if you find out it’s true and she’s really cheating on you?” I ask.

“If I have proof that she’s been unfaithful, I can threaten to out her to her family as a cheater. She’ll leave the company alone so they never know her perfect character is tarnished.”

Goddammit all to hell! I believe him. I believe him and now I want to help him. This is not good.

“I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”

Tell him the truth! Tell him his wife hired you and you feel awful and want to help him instead.

Before I can open my mouth and make a huge mistake, I watch as Matt’s eyes widen as he stares across the bar.

“Oh, shit. She’s here,” Matt says under his breath, ducking his head to hide behind me.

Turning my head, I see his wife, Melanie, coming through the doorway on the arm of a very large, very badass-looking man who’s got to be twice her age.

“She’s heading this way. Matt, she’s totally going to see you. Shit! Hide under the bar!”

Matt tries turning sideways to quickly dive under the bar, but his elbow slams into my glass, knocking it over and spilling wine down the front of my dress.

I let out a squeal as the cold liquid seeps through my dress and Matt quickly grabs a pile of napkins and starts blotting at my boobs. My breath gets caught in my throat as he presses his hands against my breasts and glances over his shoulder distractedly to see where Melanie is. He turns back and notices the shocked expression on my face and his eyes drop to his hand that is now just resting casually on my boob, practically cupping it.

I tear my eyes away from his hand and how good it feels against my chest and see that Melanie and her beefcake are a few feet away at this point and heading right toward us. If she looks away from her date, she’s going to look right at Matt. There’s not even any time for him to get up and run to the bathroom. He’ll barrel right into her. Suddenly, the tables have turned and I’m on Matt’s side. I want him to catch her in the act. I want him to be vindicated so he can move on with his life.

“Do something!”

Before all of the words finish leaving my mouth, I feel Matt’s arms wrap around my waist and I’m hauled out of my stool and pulled between his legs. His mouth is on mine immediately and I don’t even think about what I’m doing. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer.

I hear the click of Melanie’s heels as she walks past us and I know by now that we’re in the clear and can pull away, but I stopped caring about anything as soon as I felt Matt’s lips against mine. And when his tongue touches mine, I forget all about the fact that we’re in a crowded restaurant making out. His lips are firm and his tongue is soft and this kiss is the best thing I’ve experienced in my entire life.

As he softly explores my mouth, I pull him closer and mold my body against his. I’m suddenly wishing we were anywhere but here. Somewhere I could straddle his hips and feel him between my legs. The kiss goes on and on as I tangle my fingers in his hair and hold him close, moaning softly into his mouth when he switches angles and deepens the kiss. I feel like I can’t get enough of him and by the way his arms band tightly around me and hold me close, I know he feels the same.

The only thing that interrupts us is the soft sound of someone clearing her throat behind me.

“Sorry to bother you. Just checking to see if you guys need a refill or if there’s anything I can do for you.”

Regretfully ending the kiss, I turn my head without letting go of Matt and see the hostess standing next to us. She quite obviously winks at me and I realize that my fingers are still threaded through Matt’s hair and his hands are dangerously close to my ass. And I’m guessing by the sneaky look on this girl’s face that she just got a bunch of awesome pictures of the two of us with my camera.

“Nope, we’re good, thanks.” I try to tell her with my eyes that she should go away but she doesn’t get the hint.

“Really, I’m here to help. Would you like me to do anything else for you?” she stresses. She attempts to wink at me again, her way of letting me know she got the photos. The way her face contorts makes it look like she’s having a stroke.

“Miss, are you okay?” Matt asks her in concern, his arms still holding me close.

“Oh! Ha, ha, I’m great! I just wanted to let you know that if I can be of service, I’m here.”

She stands there staring at us, not making any move to walk away.

“Wow, they’re really accommodating to their customers,” Matt whispers in my ear. His warm breath gives me goose bumps and I realize I have completely lost control of this situation. Sure, I was starting to believe him, and seeing his wife show up on the arm of another man solidified the story he told me, but being this distracted by a simple kiss is not like me at all. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do now.

Under normal circumstances, I’d be feeling pretty smug that I was able to get the money shot of a subject, but I just feel dirty. I feel awful that I didn’t come clean with Matt when he poured his heart out to me. Now all I can think about is that kiss and when we can do it again.

I am so going to get fired.

“Okay. Well, I’ll just be over there, by the hostess stand, if you need anything,” she states with another awkward wink in my direction. As she turns and walks away, I can see a bulge in her front pocket that I know is my camera. My camera filled with shots of me kissing Matt. Shots that I want to look at over and over again alone at home.

When the girl is finally gone, I turn my face back to Matt. He’s staring at my lips and I can’t stop my tongue from sliding out and running over them, savoring the taste of him still there. Matt suddenly lets go of me when he realizes his arms are still wrapped tightly around me long after the threat of being spotted by his ex is gone. I immediately miss the warmth of his body.

“I feel like I should apologize for using you like that,” he tells me as I take a step back from him, his eyes still focused on my lips.

“And I feel like I should tell you that there’s no apology necessary, and you can feel free to use me like that anytime.”

We both laugh a little uncomfortably. Matt cranes his neck, searching around the restaurant. “I don’t see Melanie anywhere. They must have been seated in another room.”

Heat flushes through me when I remember the whole reason for the kiss: to make sure his estranged wife didn’t see him. I feel like I’ve waited my entire life for a kiss like that. And now I have to get up from this bar stool and walk away from him and never see him again. It would be unethical for me to do anything else. He’s not cheating on his wife, so this case is closed. I can’t help him any more than I already have. I’ve already compromised Fool Me Once Investigations enough for one night.