Kelly Jamieson - Breakaway

“But…but…what do I have to do to make you believe me?”

He scowled. “I don’t know.”

“If I…show you the pregnancy test…?”

He pursed his lips. “That’ll prove you’re pregnant, I guess. It won’t prove I’m the father.”

“Jase!” Her eyes filled with tears. “I haven’t been with anyone else! I love you!”

Fuck. He closed his eyes.

“I can get something from my doctor,” she said, standing, her fingers twisting together. “My doctor can tell you how many weeks I am. Then you’ll know.”

He gave a jerky nod. “Yeah. You do that,” he said. She wouldn’t get anything from her doctor. Because it wasn’t true.

He wasn’t even going to tell Remi about it. Because it was just so crazy and there was no need for her to get all upset about it. Jesus! He swiped a hand across his forehead as he drove back to her place later. They’d decided to just order pizza and celebrate his win at her place.

When he got there, she greeted him looking a little like a goaltender who’d just been bombarded with fifty shots on goal with no defense. Which was pretty much how he felt. He sucked in a breath as he kissed her.

“You won’t believe what happened,” she said. He followed her into her kitchen where she began to open a bottle of wine.

Oh, man. He could say the same to her. But he wasn’t going to.

“My sister wants me to sell the house,” she said.

“You’re kidding? Why?” He reached for the bottle and corkscrew she was struggling with. “Here. Let me.” He popped the cork out and poured wine into two glasses while she told him about her earlier conversation with Jasmine.

But his mind drifted off, back to that horrifying conversation with Brianne. He still couldn’t believe she would go that far to try to get him back.

“Jason?”

He looked up at Remi. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay? You seem…distracted.”

He forced a smile, his body tight and twitchy. “Yeah. Fine. Go on.”

He tried to listen, he really did, but his thoughts were all over the place and Remi was noticing. Jesus. He had to stop thinking about Brianne. He firmly pushed those thoughts aside and focused on Remi. “So what are you going to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” She looked around her. “I love this house. But it’s true. Kyle and Jasmine are entitled to their share of the house. Even though I think they need this place to come home to. At least for a while.”

He nodded and drank some of the wine. Then the words just popped out of his mouth. “You know…you could move in with me.”

He couldn’t believe he was sitting there calmly, steadily looking at Remi, inviting her to move in with him, and his heart wasn’t racing, his gut wasn’t heaving, his neck and shoulders weren’t rock-hard with tension.

He’d thought about it earlier and now the idea had slid into his head like a puck gliding into the net, and before he’d even had time to think about it, he’d said it. He wanted Remi to live with him.

She stared at him. “What?”

“You could move in with me.” He reached for her hand. “I want you to live with me.”

She moved her head slowly from side to side, pretty lips parted. “But we hardly know each other. We can’t move in together.”

“We know each other,” he said, stroking his thumb across the back of her hand. “I love you, Remi. I want to live with you.”

“Are you crazy?”

He remembered the last time they’d had a conversation like this and how heated and angry her question had been. This time her voice was soft, wondering. He grinned. “No, I mean it.”

“Wow.” She blinked at him. “That’s a pretty serious step for a guy who just wants to have fun.”

“It would be fun living with you,” he said. “I know it.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Jason, there’s more to it than that.”

“I know. I actually thought of it this morning, how much easier everything would be if we lived together. Just think about it. Maybe this thing with Jasmine will blow over. There’s no rush. But you know…even if you don’t have to sell the house…think about it.”

She nodded, her eyes a little dazed. “Okay.”

“Let’s order pizza. I’m starving.”

It took Brianne a week.

She showed up at his apartment the next Saturday, grim-faced and pissed. “Here,” she said, shoving a paper into his hand. “Nine weeks. Now do you believe me?”

He stared down at the note on official medical stationery. It looked…real.

His stomach heaved, his mouthed filled with saliva and he swallowed repeatedly. He could not puke. He could not puke.

“And I brought this too,” she snapped, pulling a plastic baggie out of her purse. She handed it to him too. He looked at the plastic stick inside. “That’s the pregnancy test I took. For the third damn time.” Her lips tightened into a thin line. She glared at him.

He wiped his mouth. The silence stretched out, long and thick.

A million questions backed up in his brain. He closed his eyes.

Jesus. A baby. Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“What are you doing to do?” He sounded like his voice was coming from far away, echoing in his ears.

“I’m…I’m going to have the baby.”

He squeezed his eyes closed. He’d never been someone who believed in abortion but he’d also always believed in a woman’s right to choose. Because they were the ones who got pregnant. But at that moment, he had to ask, why, why she would do that when her career and his life would be so hugely impacted by this.

But he knew why. It was a baby. Their baby.

Jesus Christ. How could this have happened?

How could he be a father? He felt like a kid himself. And what was he supposed to do about Brianne? They’d broken up. He didn’t love her. But she was going to be the mother of his child.

Nausea rolled again. He fought it down and looked at Brianne standing there, arms folded across her chest, hip cocked.

He had to ask it. “What do you want from me, Brianne?”

Her face crumpled and her eyes filled with tears. “You know what I want.”

Did she want them to get back together? To try to make something work for the sake of their child? The questions ricocheted around inside him, but he was a coward, too afraid to speak them aloud in case she said yes, that’s what she wanted.

Remi.

Oh, Christ, Remi. How was he going to tell Remi about this?

He’d just asked her to move in with him.

The idea of hurting her sliced through him with such a sharp, jagged pain he made a noise. He cleared his throat, glancing at Brianne. She watched him with sad, glossy eyes and a shaky mouth.

He turned and walked into his living room, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Neither do I.” She followed him and perched on the edge of his couch. He lowered himself into a chair.

“D’you…do you want us to get back together?”

She blinked at him. “I still love you, Jase. You know I do.”

Fuck. That was not what he wanted to hear. That jagged pain inside him intensified.

“I don’t know if I can do this on my own, Jase.”

He moved his head slowly up and down. He got that. He wasn’t sure if he could do it either. A baby! Christ!

He leaned his head back, trying to imagine his life with a child. With Brianne. Terror clawed at him, long talons dragging through his intestines, panic bubbling up inside him with that familiar feeling of being caged, trapped, noosed.

Like marriage, he’d always figured parenthood would come someday. He wasn’t a confirmed bachelor, sworn to stay single forever. Nah. His parents had created a great family and he wanted that too. Someday. Some very far-distant day.