Джули Салливан - Friends and Strangers

Elisabeth must have been in the middle of writing a comment on a post when Sam came in. The cursor hovered there, blinking, right after the words So grateful to you, Mimi! You saved the

Sam scrolled to the top to see who Mimi was and what exactly she had saved.

The original post was Elisabeth’s. Sam’s eyes rushed through the words: My son’s incredible babysitter…one of the brightest young women I’ve ever known…It is her DREAM…Matilda Grey…Please help me stop her from making a colossal mistake and marrying her creepy British boyfriend and wasting all her talents!!

Someone had asked if Clive had bad teeth. Elisabeth answered in the affirmative.

Sam was shaking as she took it in. The job hadn’t just come to her. Someone was taking pity, at Elisabeth’s request.

Elisabeth had never let on for a second.

Sam got up, and stormed past Gil’s room. Elisabeth, in shadow, stood over the crib.

Sam ran down the stairs.

Elisabeth called after her in a whisper, “Where are you going?”

She didn’t reply. She reached the front hallway.

Elisabeth followed.

“Sam!” she said. “Wait! What’s going on?”

Sam spun around and faced her.

“Thank you so much for trying to stop me from marrying my—how did you put it?—‘creepy British boyfriend’?”

Elisabeth seemed to deflate right there in front of her. “Shit,” she said.

“You must think I’m a complete idiot,” Sam said. “Crying to you, getting so excited, and, all the time, you were the one pulling the strings.”

“I believe in you, Sam,” Elisabeth said. “I wanted to help.”

“By forcing someone to hire me?”

“Come on. I don’t have that kind of power. They hired you because you’re great. I only made the meeting happen.”

“I’m so sick of everyone thinking they know what’s best for me. What did Clive ever do to you, or to anyone, to deserve those things you said? He’s the kindest person I know.”

“Maybe so.”

Elisabeth’s voice was soothing, as if she were trying to calm a child mid-tantrum. “But I know you, Sam. You have this great family, you love kids, you’re super mature. You want to skip the big steps and be there. But everyone has to take those steps. It’s all the mistakes you make in the middle that determine how strong you are at the end. You can’t hide behind this thing with Clive forever.”

“Who made you the authority on my life?” Sam demanded.

“I’ve lived longer than you, that’s all. Clive is a sweet guy, but, Sam, do you really see a future with him?”

“What does that mean?”

“For one thing, he doesn’t have two pennies to rub together. A man that age should be able to put you up in a hotel.”

That she would take the details of Sam’s life and turn them into an accusation. It was humiliating.

“Maybe money doesn’t matter to me the way it does to you,” Sam said.

“That’s only because you don’t know anything yet,” Elisabeth said. “The people who know you best think he’s wrong for you. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

“Who?” Sam said.

“Your mother. Isabella. Me.”

“You’re not one of the people who know me best. You barely know me at all,” Sam said. “And I’m not sure where you got that about Isabella.”

“She told me.”

“What did she say?”

“That she’s worried. That nobody thought you and Clive would last this long. That she doesn’t understand why you’re marrying him. If I were you, I’d want to know why he’s so hell-bent on marriage. Something tells me he hasn’t told you everything about his past. I think Isabella feels the same way.”

“Have there ever been two greater experts on marriage than you and Isabella?” Sam said. “Don’t you have enough problems of your own to think about? Why are you so preoccupied with mine? You need me to go to Brooklyn because you regret leaving. I’m not you. I’m nothing like you. Do you know how oblivious you are? Your stories about struggling to make it in the big city. I know they’re all bullshit. I don’t even think you realize.”

“Sam, you’re angry. I get that. But I only want what’s best for you. I wanted to be there for you the way you were there for me. You did me the biggest favor when you helped me decide not to go through with—”

“I had to do that,” Sam said. “It’s what you wanted and you’re the boss.”

She thought of Gaby’s words, which had hurt so much —My aunt gets paid to be nice to girls like you.

Elisabeth shook her head. “I never saw it that way. I hope you didn’t either.”

“I stood by and watched you tell a huge lie to Andrew. I could have told him. At the time, I never would have thought it was my place. But you went right ahead and meddled in my life. Maybe I should do the same to you. See how you like it.”

“Sam—”

“You may be older than I am, but you have no clue about relationships. You’d rather lie to your husband until you die than tell him what you want. You’ve just done to me what you stopped speaking to your own father for doing to you. Do you not see that?”

“You’re right,” Elisabeth said. “I mean—it’s not the same at all, but I’m sorry.”

“You look down on the rest of us. Me, George, probably even poor Andrew.”

“George?” Elisabeth said. “I do not.”

“You won’t give his book idea the time of day, even though it’s a good one.”

“Really? This? Seriously?”

“You never once expressed any interest in what George and I were doing at that discussion group. You acted like you didn’t want me to go.”

Elisabeth sighed. “That’s only because—” she began, but Sam didn’t stay to hear the rest.

She went to the end of the hall, opened the front door, and walked out.

—

Clive called a few minutes after she got home.

Sam felt nauseated.

She said nothing about Elisabeth. She told him about the job offer, but not that she had accepted.

She wanted him to be the one to suggest it.

“I’m so confused about what to do,” she said.

“The timing’s rubbish,” he said. “But soon we’ll be married and you’ll have a visa and then you can get a fabulous job just like it in London.”

“I’m not sure it’s that easy,” she said.

“You didn’t even have to apply to this one,” he said. “That’s unheard of. You’re brilliant, babe. You’ll get snapped up fast no matter where we are.”

She envisioned herself at gallery openings, introducing him to her boss and coworkers. My husband can’t stay long, he’s giving his Jack the Ripper tour tonight. Then she felt bad. But when you were twenty-two and somebody’s assistant, you were supposed to be dating some other twenty-two-year-old assistant, who lived with his college buddies and wasn’t remotely interested in settling down yet.

“I thought we talked about maybe living in New York,” she said.

“Someday. But not now. I couldn’t just up and leave. We’ll be married soon, that’s all I care about.”

“Why do you want to be married so badly?” she said.

Sam could tell from the silence that she had injured him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to sound the way it did. It’s just—I’m committed to you as it is.”

“You’re saying you don’t want to marry me?” he said.

He sounded like a child. She thought back to the night they met, how assured he’d been, how drawn she was to him then.

“No,” she said. “I guess—Clive. Have you ever been married before?”

Later, she would wonder why she asked the question then. Elisabeth had planted the seed much earlier, but somehow Sam’s curiosity had not been piqued until tonight.