Harry Sidebottom: The Caspian Gates

Ballista hoped again that it was not going to distract Constans.

The slaves were running around like actors in a bad mime. The unholy row would have woken anyone – except the entire household was already awake: Ballista and the men in the andron; his wife, Julia, and her maids in the women’s quarters; the domestic slaves throughout the house wielding an arsenal of cloths, sponges, feather dusters, brooms, buckets, poles and ladders. A blur of sawdust tipped out, then swept up again, a cloud of chased dust; the usual frenzy of domestic economy.

Ballista had instructed the bell rung early this morning, with a good two hours of the night left. It was not a day to be late. It was the anniversary of the accession, one hundred and one years earlier, of the divine emperors Marcus Aurelius and Lucius Verus. It promised to be a grand day: sacrifices, a procession, singing and dancing, all sorts of entertainment, more sacrifices, speeches and a feast. It was a day on which the imperial cult would be celebrated, on which the expression of loyalty and religious sentiment would meld together.

It was not a day for Ballista to be late. Everyone knew what he had done the previous year – turned his hands on a man who, no matter how briefly and how very wrongly, had worn the purple. He had thrown Quietus – may his name be damned – from a tower, a cliff, the pediment of a temple; had stabbed him, strangled him, beaten him to death with a chair leg. In one lurid version, he had torn his heart out on an altar. The details of the execution might vary, but everyone agreed what had happened next. The soldiers had acclaimed Ballista emperor. Certainly, the barbarian had laid down the diadem after just a few days. And certainly, Odenathus, the king of Palmyra, who now oversaw the eastern provinces of the Roman empire in the name of the true emperor Gallienus, had pardoned him. But a man who has killed an emperor, or even an ephemeral pretender, will always be the object of curiosity and some suspicion. Not a man who can afford to be late for a festival of the imperial cult.

It was all rather worse than the idlers in the bars and baths had it. As soon as the deed was done, Ballista had written to the emperor Gallienus: a letter of explanation, a request for clementia, a plea to be allowed to retire into private life, to live quietly in Sicily. The cursus publicus would have taken the letter west at about fifty miles a day. It had been sent months ago. There had been no reply.

As youths, Gallienus and Ballista had both been held at the imperial court as sureties for the good behaviour of their fathers. The young men had got on well. They could even have been counted friends. Ballista had hoped it would help. He had hoped he would be allowed to live quietly as a private citizen, that he would not be convicted of treason. If declared guilty of maiestas, Ballista hoped his property would not be confiscated, that his sons might inherit. If the verdict was bad, he hoped for some form of exile rather than the executioner’s sword. For months, Ballista had hoped all these things, but there had been no reply.

That was not all. Many years ago, Ballista had killed another emperor. Not many people knew of the young Ballista’s role in the death of the terrible Maximinus Thrax. Most, if not all, the other twelve conspirators were dead. Ballista had only told five people. One of them was also dead. Three of the others were still with him: his wife Julia, his freedmen Maximus and Calgacus. But, worryingly enough, the fifth one, his ex-secretary Demetrius, was now in the west; precisely, in the court of Gallienus. It would not be good if a report arrived there that Ballista had been anything other than punctual for a festival of the imperial cult.

With a final, slightly disconcerting flourish, Constans finished the shave. Ballista thanked him, avoiding the eyes of Maximus and Calgacus. On cue, their breakfast arrived. The Jewish slave woman Rebecca put out bread, cheese, soft-boiled eggs, as well as honey, yoghurt and fruit. A substantial ientaculum for a Roman or Greek, nothing too taxing for the three northerners.

‘Tell me, darling girl,’ said Maximus, ‘are you frightened of big snakes?’ He spoke to Rebecca but was looking at Calgacus. She blushed and shook her head. Calgacus ignored him. ‘Sure, you must be getting used to them,’ the Hibernian continued, all wide, blue-eyed innocence. ‘Living here, I mean. I heard tell there was one hereabouts built on such a heroic scale it won applause when its owner took it to the baths. Ugly-looking thing, though, it was.’ Rebecca left as quickly as possible.

‘Bastard,’ said Calgacus.

‘Poor girl,’ said Maximus, ‘ending up with you on top of her.’

Hippothous came in to join them. The snake was gone. They all started eating. The magpie was hopping about in its cage, squawking annoyingly.

‘I hate caged birds,’ said Ballista.

‘You have always been a sensitive soul.’ Maximus nodded. ‘There is a terrible sadness in their singing.’

‘No, it is the smell – bird-droppings, moulting feathers: puts you off your food. I would wring that fucking thing’s neck, if it were not for my wife.’

Breakfast finished, Constans and three other slaves helped the men into their togas. The draping, winding and folding took a long time. The Roman toga was not something you could put on without help and, once arranged, the heavy thing curtailed any sudden, unconsidered movement. No other people wore such a garment. Ballista knew those were three of the reasons the Romans set such store in it.

Eventually, the four citizens were appropriately accoutred: gleaming white wool, deep-green laurel garlands, the flash of gold from Ballista’s mural crown. There was no sign of the women and the children. The magpie had not let up.

‘Tell the domina we will wait for her outside, down on the Sacred Way.’

Outside, a cold pre-dawn, no wind; the stars paling, but the Grapegatherers still shining faintly. There was a hard frost over everything as they walked down the steep steps. Dogs barked in the distance.

The Elephant was no more expensive than the other bars along the Embolos. Nothing was going to be cheap along the Sacred Way. The heavy wooden shutters were open. Hippothous and Calgacus went inside.

The sky was high, pale blue, silvered in the east, streaked by a lone long stretch of cloud, like a straight line carefully drawn. The swallows were high, wheeling and cutting intricate patterns.

‘One day, do you think the sky will fall?’ Maximus asked.

‘I do not know. Maybe.’ Ballista carried on watching the swallows. ‘Not in the way you Celts think it will. Maybe at Raknarok, when everything falls. Not on its own.’

‘Your cousins the Borani and the other Goths, they think it will fall.’

‘Not my cousins. Nothing but ignorant refugees.’

‘And they speak highly of you,’ smiled Maximus.

The others came out with the drinks: four cups of conditum. The ceramic cups were hot to hold. The steam smelt of wine, honey and spices.

‘Calgacus, do you think the sky will fall?’ Maximus asked.

‘Aye, of course. Any day now.’

As a Hellene, Hippothous, unsurprisingly, looked superior.

Ballista regarded his friends. Calgacus, with his great domed skull and thin, peevish mouth. Maximus, the scar where the end of his nose should have been pale against the dark tan of his face. And then there was Hippothous. Things were not the same with him as they had been with Demetrius. Of course, Hippothous was older – most likely about Ballista’s own age. Yet possibly it was more a question of origins. While Demetrius had come to Ballista as a slave, Hippothous had been born a free man – according to his own account, a rich young man that misfortune had turned to banditry or something close to it. It could be the latter was just too new an addition to the familia yet to be a friend. But there was something about Hippothous, something about his eyes. Ballista was far from sure about his new secretary.