Филиппа Карр - Will You Love Me in September

That was when I was very young. It was the first time I had seen Hessenfield. He had played at being a highwayman and stopped the coach. As I sat looking out of the window while we jogged along, pictures flashed in and out of my mind: Hessenfield in a mask, stopping the coach, ordering us to get out, kissing my mother and then kissing me. I had not been afraid. I sensed that my mother was not either. I had given the highwayman the tail of my sugar mouse. Then he had ridden off, and it was not until he carried me away from Ayot Abbas and out to the ship that I saw him again.

I felt drowsy in the coach. Harriet and Gregory were dozing too. Next to Gregory sat Benjie. Every now and then he would catch my eye and smile. He looked very sad, which was because I was going. I thought then, if you were Hessenfield, you would not let me go. He carried me away to a big ship... .

I did compare everyone with Hessenfield. He had been taller in stature than anyone else. He had towered above everyone in every way. I was sure that if he had lived he would have put King James on the throne.

We were traveling slowly because the roads were dangerous. There had been heavy rain recently and every now and then we would splash through the puddles of water. I thought it was amusing to see the water splashing out and I laughed.

"Not so pleasant for poor old Merry," said Benjie. Merry was driving at that moment.

He had a lugubrious face, rather like a bloodhound's. I thought it funny that he had a name like Merry and laughed whenever I heard it. "One of nature's little jokes,”

said Harriet.

Suddenly there was a jolt. The coach stopped. Gregory opened s eyes with a start and Harriet said, "What's happened?" started men but I looked out of the window and saw them "We"8 n at the wheels- Gregory put his head inside the coach, a littered Stuck m a gully at the side of the road," he said. "It'll take time to get us out.”

"I hope not too long," replied Harriet. "In an hour or so it will be dark.”

"We'll get to work on it," Gregory told her. He was so proud of his coach and hated anything to go wrong with it. "It's this weather," he went on. "The roads are in a dreadful state.”

Harriet looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. "We must settle down to wait," she said. "Not too long, I hope. Are you looking forward to a nice warm inn parlor? What would you like to eat? Hot soup first? The sucking pig? The partridge pie?”

Harriet always made you feel you were doing what she was talking about. I could taste the sweet syllabub and the heartshaped marchpane.

She said, "You rode in this coach long ago, remember, Clarissa?”

I nodded.

"There was a highwayman," she went on.

"It was Hessenfield. He was playing a joke. He wasn't a highwayman really.”

I felt the tears in my eyes because he was gone forever and I should never see him again.

"He was a man, wasn't he?" said Harriet quietly.

I knew what she meant and I thought, There will never be anyone like Hessenfield.

Then it occurred to me that it was a pity there had to be such wonderful people in the world, because compared with them everyone else seemed lacking. Of course it would not be a pity if they did not die and go away forever.

Harriet leaned toward me and said quietly, "When people die they sometimes seem so much better than when they were alive.”

I was pondering this when Gregory put his head inside the coach again. "Another ten minutes and we should be on our way," he said.

"Good," cried Harriet. "Then we'll reach the Boar's Head before it's really dark.”

"We're lucky to get clear. The roads are in a shocking state," replied Gregory.

A little later he and Benjie were taking their seats in the coach, and the horses, after their little rest, were quite frisky and soon bowling along at a good pace.

The sun was setting. It had almost disappeared. It had been a dark and cloudy day and there was rain about. It was growing rapidly- We came to the wood. I had a strange feeling that had been there before; then I guessed it was the place where Hessenfield had stopped this very coach all those years ago. We turned into the wood and had not gone very far when two res stepped out. They rode along by the window and I saw one f them clearly. He was masked and carried a gun. Highwaymen! The place was notorious for them. My immediate thought was, It's not Hessenfield. This is a real one. Hessen- field is dead.

Gregory had seen. He was reaching for the blunderbuss under our seat. Harriet took my hand and gripped it tightly. Merry was shouting something. He had whipped up the horses and we were swaying from one side of the coach to the other as they galloped through the wood.

Benjie took out the sword which was kept in the coach for such an emergency as this.

"Merry seems to think we can outride them," muttered Gregory.

"Best thing if we can," replied Benjie. He was looking at Harriet and me, and I knew he meant he did not want a fight which might put us in danger.

The coach rattled on. We were swaying furiously - and then suddenly it happened.

I was thrown up in my seat. I remember hitting the top of the coach, which seemed to rise as high as the trees.

I heard Harriet whisper, "O God, help us.”

And then I was enveloped in darkness.

When I regained consciousness I was in a strange bed and Damaris was on one side of it, Jeremy on the other.

I heard Damaris say, "I think she's awake now.”

I opened my eyes and said, "We were in the coach... ." as memory flooded back.

"Yes, darling. You're safe now.”

“What happened?”

" was an accident ... but don't worry about that am I?”

We're in the Boar's Head. We are going home very soon now. s soon as you are well enough to travel." you staying here, then?”

"Yes, and we shall be here until we take you back.”

It was one of those occasions when I could feel happy to be wrapped in such loving care.

I recovered rapidly. I had a broken leg, it seemed, and many bruises.

"Young bones mend quickly," they said.

I was at the Boar's Head for another two days, and gradually the news was broken to me. The coach would never be on the road again. The horses had been so badly injured that they had had to be shot.

"It was the best way," Damaris told me with a catch in her voice. She loved all animals.

"It was the highwaymen," I said. "Were they real highwaymen?”

"Yes," answered Damaris. "They made off. They did stay when it happened. It was because of them. It was their fault. Merry and Keller whipped up the horses, hoping to escape the robbers. They didn't see the fallen tree trunk. That was how it happened.”

"Are Benjie and Harriet and Gregory here at the inn?”

There was a silence, and a sudden fear came to me.

"Clarissa," said Damaris slowly, "it was a very bad accident.

You were lucky. Benjie was lucky. ...”

"What do you mean?" I asked faintly.

Damaris looked at Jeremy and he nodded. He meant: Tell her. There is no point in holding back the truth.

"Harriet and Gregory ... were killed, Clarissa.”

I was silent. I did not know what to say. I was numbed. Here was death again. It sprang up and took people when you least expected it. My beautiful parents ...

dead. Dear, kind Gregory ... beautiful Harriet with the blue eyes and curly black hair ... dead.

I stammered, "I shan't see them anymore.”

I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep and forget.

They left me. I heard them whispering outside my door.

"Perhaps we shouldn't have told her. She's only a child.”

"No," answered Jeremy. "She's got to grow up. She's got to learn what life is.”

So I lay thinking and remembering those who had been so intensely alive-my mother, my father and Harriet ... now dead ... filled with sorrow.