Филиппа Карр: The pool of St Branok

There was talk of nothing else but the Exhibition. We discussed it endlessly.

Aunt Amaryllis said: "Of course you will go again before you return to Cornwall."

My mother said we must.

"Will the Queen be there?" I asked.

"It would not surprise me," replied Uncle Peter. "This is Albert's conception and therefore in her eyes must be perfect."

"They fired the guns in Hyde Park," I said, "and they did not shatter the glass dome."

"You remembered that, did you?" said Uncle Peter smiling.

"Well, it was important."

"And a bit of a risk. But didn't I tell you that risks have to be taken ... and if you are bold they will work out in your favor."

We retired that night; and as soon as I lay down I was into a beautiful sleep of happy jumbled dreams ... myself in pink and silver walking majestically up to the royal dais, everyone cheering me. It was a beautiful dream.

It happened the following day.

We were at luncheon, Matthew was there again—he was a very constant visitor—being coached in the way he must act in Parliament, I supposed.

We were still talking about the Exhibition and were on the last course when there was a quiet knock on the door and Janson, the butler, appeared.

He gave a discreet little cough and said: "There is a young gentleman to see you, sir."

"A gentleman? Can't he wait until after luncheon, Janson?"

"He said it was important, sir."

"Who is it?"

"He calls himself a Mr. Benedict Lansdon, sir."

Uncle Peter sat very still for a few seconds. It was hardly noticeable but I was watching him closely and I thought he was a little disturbed.

He half rose in his chair and then sat down again.

"Oh," he said. "Oh, very well, Janson, I'll see him. Ask him to wait."

Janson went out and Uncle Peter looked at Aunt Amaryllis.

She said, "Who is it, Peter? The name ..."

"It could be some long lost relative. I'll sort it out ... if you'll all excuse me."

When he went out the chatter began.

"I wonder who it is," said Matthew. "It must be someone in the family. That name ..."

"How exciting," I said.

My mother smiled at me but said nothing.

We had finished luncheon so we rose. Uncle Peter, I gathered, was still closeted in his study with the visitor.

It is so frustrating to be young and have things kept from you. That there was an enormous mystery about Benedict Lansdon, I had no doubt. My father and mother talked of him in hushed whispers. Aunt Amaryllis looked a little dazed. I heard Matthew say to my father that he hoped it wouldn't "get about."

I wondered what that meant.

I listened; I watched; and gradually I began to learn the truth.

Benedict was Uncle Peter's grandson. He had been born in Australia fifteen years ago. His father was Uncle Peter's son. Uncle Peter had been married only once and that was to Aunt Amaryllis, but that did not prevent his having a son of whom Amaryllis, until this moment, had never heard.

I listened to my mother talking of it to my father. She said: "He passed it off as you would expect him to. A youthful misdemeanor ... before he met Amaryllis, of course."

So Benedict was the result of a youthful misdemeanor.

It was from Benedict that I heard more of the story than I could get from anyone else. He and I were immediately attracted to each other. I to him because he was different from anyone I had previously known and he to me perhaps because I so blatantly admired him.

He was tall for his age; he had very blue eyes which were startling in his bronzed face; his hair was very fair, bleached by the fierce sun of the Antipodes. He had an air of insouciance as Uncle Peter had, but it was almost a swagger in Benedict; I thought Uncle Peter would have been very like him when he was his age. There was a look of amusement as though he saw the world as something made for his advancement and benefit. It was a look I had noticed in Uncle Peter. There could be no doubt of the relationship between them.

The house in the square had only a small garden. It had paving stones and rather stunted bushes and a pear tree which produced very hard pears. Aunt Amaryllis had had pots put in with flowering shrubs and there was a rustic seat.

It was in this garden that I had my first meeting with Benedict.

"Hello," he said. "You're a cute little girl. Who are you?"

"I'm Angelet. Some people call me Angel which is misleading."

"I hope it is," he replied. "I'd be rather scared of an angel."

"I don't think you would ever be scared of anything."

That was how I felt about him; and he liked to hear it. His blue eyes shone with pleasure. "I'm not scared of much," he admitted. "But angels do have a habit of recording people's sins."

"Have you committed many?"

He nodded conspiratorially and I laughed.

I said: "Who are you?"

"Benedict Lansdon. Call me Ben."

"Ben suits you better. Benedict sounds a little holy ... like a monk or a saint or something."

"I fear I should never be one of those."

"Ben's much more suitable."

"They call me Ben way back."

"Why are you here?"

"To see my grandfather."

"Uncle Peter?"

"Oh, he's your uncle, is he?"

"No, not really. They call people uncle when they don't know what else to call them. He's just married to my Aunt Amaryllis, but she's not my real aunt either. It really is one of those relationships which are too complicated to explain to people."

"Well, mine is not a bit complicated. He really is my grandfather."

"But there's something odd about it. He didn't seem to know he had you for a grandson until you came here to tell him."

"Not odd really. All very natural. People sometimes have children they don't intend to. It takes them by surprise, so to speak, and then what are they going to do with them? That's what happened to my grandmother and your Uncle Peter."

"I see."

"And she then went to Australia. He paid for her and sent her money for as long as she lived. My father was born. He was called Peter Lansdon after his father ... Peter Lansdon Carter in fact but the Carter was dropped. My grandmother never married but my father did, and they had me. That's how I come to be your Uncle Peter's grandson. My grandmother was always talking about England and what a fine fellow my grandfather was. Once there was something in the papers about him. It was not very good, but she laughed over it, and said there was no one like him. When she died we lost touch with him, but he was often spoken of. My mother died and there was just my father and me. We had a small property but it was hard going. The land wasn't good ... too dry and there always seemed to be droughts ... and then there were pests ... locusts and that sort of thing. When my father knew he was dying he used to talk to me about the future. He knew someone who'd buy the property. He wanted me to go to England and find my grandfather. 'You'll find him easily,' he said. 'He's a well known gentleman.' And when he went I thought I'd like to see England, so I sold up and came."

"That was a very brave thing to do."

"I don't look at it like that. I just wanted to come."

"What will you do now?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Have to see which way the wind blows."

"I hope it blows in the right direction."

He gave me a confident smile. "I'll see it does," he said.

"I am sure you will."

We smiled at each other and I had an idea that he liked me as much as I liked him.

I said: "My grandfather went to Australia."

"Is that so?"

"Yes. First he went as a convict."

"Never!"

"Oh yes. Seven years' transportation for killing a man."

"I can't believe it."

"It was very extraordinary. He joined the gypsies and became one of them although he had been brought up at Cador. You'll come to see Cador, won't you? It's a wonderful place. It was in the Cadorson family for generations."